Night
by MulanHua
Summary: "You look irritated, Derick. Is something wrong?" Ms. Fairyman was standing in front of me with a gentle smile. She looked down at my desk and her smile grew wider. "It seems that the orchestra has already started playing." -Night-
1. Preface

–**Preface–**

Eyes are something very unreliable. They show us the world around us but they can't let us see everything.

There are so many invisible things on this earth.

Music – Invisible, but you can _hear_ it.

A flower's aroma – Invisible, but you can _smell _it.

Warmth – Invisible, but you can _feel_ it.

See, there are so many things, which our eyes can't show us. Good to have other senses.

But is there perhaps something which neither can be seen, nor heard, smelled or even not felt? Something _completely_ invisible?

Turn off the lights. – Can you _see_ anything?

Listen closely. – Can you _hear_ anything?

Inhale deeply. – Can you _smell_ anything?

Comb with your hand through the air. – Can you _feel_ anything?

…

No?

But although your senses can't tell you what's going on around you, you know what this means.

_Night_ is perfectly invisible, but still, we know that it is present.


	2. Chapter 1

**_IMPORTANT: all songs in this story are NOT written by me! I only did the translation ^^_**

**_I did NOT translate the songs word by word - I "rewrote" them a little so the rhyme would work ;) -if you want the word-by-word-translation: please check out my "Night-Galary" which you can find on my profile  
_**

* * *

**Chapter1 ****–Voice–**

The bell announced the end of the forenoon classes with a loud ringing sound.

I sighed. For the first time ever I didn't want to go to break.

How had I been able to be so stupid and agree to Emmett's bet? It had been obvious that he would cheat to win – he was _Emmett_ after all. And then he had set such an absurd condition. I should have been suspicious since then at least. _Everyone_ would have been suspicious when he would've even heard of it.

But, self-conscious as I was, I had agreed to his bizarre challenge – and I had lost. It had been _so_ embarrassing.

The students around me all got up one by one to leave for lunch, so I had to go, too, in order to not draw any unneeded attention. I sighed again, tossed my books into my bag and stepped out of the classroom.

Outside, the sky greeted me with depressingly dark rain clouds, mirroring exactly my mood at the moment. But actually the weather here in Forks –Washington State– was always like that, no matter whether I had lost against Emmett in a bet before or not. I had got used to the bad weather in the mean time, because no matter where we went, we would always choose a place with an abnormally high precipitation rate. It felt better to be able to go out during the day time without everyone gawking at you. More… _human_.

But at the moment I wished the sun would break through the layers of clouds, so we could go home.

I shook my head.

_Forget it, man._ Alice had foreseen beautiful gloom and doom weather with a little rain mixed with a north-east wind eventually. Not the slightest bit of sunshine to be espied at the horizon. Besides, it wouldn't make such a difference when we went home now. Emmett would force me to fulfill our deal anyway. Even Esme wouldn't be able to stop this craziness of his.

My foot kicked a stone by accident and for a second I really wanted to pick it up and smash it against a tree. But I stopped myself. There were too many humans around who could have seen the stone explode into thousands of tiny pieces and the entire tree shaking wildly. Too eye-catching. It was so frustrating to be unbelievably strong sometimes.

I turned left to the cafeteria. Unfair bet or not, I would stick by my words like a man!

Suddenly, a beautiful melody reached my sensitive ears. It was coming from the edge of the forest at which Forks High was located at.

"_Momma tell me what'd you mean_

_Why is it here so dark outside?_

_Momma tell me why do you cry_

_Don't be so sad, I will be nice_"

Driven by curiosity I walked towards the source of the song.

"_Are those shooting stars up there?_

_What just flew across the air?_

_Why do I feel so cold here?_

_Why is your heart beating so fast?_

_What's that light from over there?_

_When will the thunder finally pass?_"

I had never heard such a voice before. It was high and quiet, definitely a girl's voice. But it was strong and penetrating at the same time. And there was something else that made me want to step closer. Usual human voices were full of "cracks", they sounded hoarsely. I had recognized that since I was born and now, after my _change_, which had made my ears more sensitive than ever, I could hear those "cracks" even more explicitly.

But this voice… This voice was so _clear_. Like the sound of water drops echoing in an empty silent cave. It was so beautiful…

"_Momma ana ahabak_

_Momma I love you_

_Momma ana ahabak_

_Come and take me in your arms_"

I took another step to hide behind an old rusty truck and spied through the dirty windows.

She was sitting there in the shadow of a buckled tree. Her knees were pulled to her chest, her head rested on her knees, her eyes closed. She looked as if she was sleeping, but my sharp eyes saw how her lips were moving, forming the words and the melody.

"_Momma which way should we go_

_Please let's go home it is so late_

_Momma why'd you fall to you knees_

_Please tell me why we need to pray_"

I noticed how my eyes were fixed on her lips. I blinked a few times to get a hold on myself.

Boy, what was I doing here? Clandestinely listening to a girl who preferred singing under an old tree rather then go to lunch? I was no freaking stalker!

But somehow, I couldn't move. I couldn't just turn around and walk away. I wanted to listen to this rare pure voice.

"_Stop pulling at my hand_

_Why do you press me to the wall?_

_Why won't the lights go on again?_

_I cannot see anymore_

_Why do we have to stand in the dark?_

_Why can't we go home and shut the door?_"

I let my eyes wander over her, so they wouldn't keep stuck to her lips. I noticed that I had never seen her before.

She had long smooth hair that floated over her shoulders to her back like a pitch-black waterfall. Because she was crouching on the ground I couldn't see more than a brown jacket and blue jeans, but I guessed that she was taller than Bella. Her eyes were closed, so I could only see her long eyelashes and the fine straight nose. And of course there was her mouth that made those angelic tones.

"_Momma ana ahabak_

_Momma I love you_

_Momma ana ahabak_

_Come and take me in your arms_

_Momma ana ahabak_

_I can't see the stars at night_

_Momma ana ahabak_

_Your face is my only light…_

_Can you tell me where we are?_

_Where are those people heading to?_

_Tell me is home still far away?_"

I turned around to lean against the car, eyes closed, appreciating the music.

Suddenly there was a pause. My eyes flashed open. Did she hear me? But then the song continued. Her voice lowered to a whisper. My lids fell shut again.

"_Why aren't you talking anymore?_

_Where is the light in your eyes?_

_Is this because of me?_

_I'm so sorry…_"

"_Momma ana ahabak_" that meant "_Mother, I love you_" in Arabic. – A very uncommon song for some high school student to sing during lunch break. But it somehow fit to the weather here. Maybe she got inspirited by the clouds…

"_Momma ana ahabak_

_Momma I love you_

_Momma ana ahabak_

_Come and take me in your arms_

_Momma ana ahabak_

_And when night fills the sky_

_Momma ana ahabak_

_The stars do not shine_

_Your smile is my only light_

_Please stay here at my side_"

The song ended. I smiled. What a beautiful melody and emotional text. And her _voice_. Wow! Did that girl know what kind of heavenly present she got with her birth? It was amazing. She could become some star later if she wanted to.

I started clapping and walked out of my hiding place.

Her eyes flashed open. They were perfectly blue, like a pair of sapphires.

"That was wonderful," I said.

She didn't respond. She just got up and picked up her bag from the grass, avoiding eye contact. Probably shy.

"You've a great voice," I continued. Well, that was an understatement. Her voice put angel choirs to shame!

She walked towards me slowly. But this slowness didn't show fear. It was quiet the opposite. Her body rayed a kind of calmness and composure which was very unusual with humans. She stopped about a meter in front of me and looked up. He blue eyes stung into my gold ones as if she could look right through me. Unlike other humans she didn't react the tiniest bit when she saw my strange eye color. And I was sure she could see it, I could make out my reflection in her eyes.

"Thanks," she replied after a second with her unusually clear voice, her face absolutely emotionless. Then she turned and walked away towards the cafeteria. Her steps echoed quietly in the air.

* * *

_hey there! ^^_

_soooooooooo - what do you think? ^^_

_**is it good? bad? irritating because of the new charas? -tell me!! ^^**_

_-Mulan-_

_PS. all the songs and the charas' voices can be found on my new **"Night-Galary" **- the link is on my profile ;) -Enjoy!  
_


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter2 ****–Family–**

A huge grin stretched across Emmett's face when I entered the crowed cafeteria. A part in my brain told me that I should be upset about that. But that part was so tiny and I was so deep in thoughts that I simply missed it.

I went to the counter and got some random food without looking closely at what exactly I was shovelling on my plates. I wouldn't eat it anyway; it was just a requisite – a show that we played to be regarded as "normal".

I paid the food and went to the two tables which were pushed together, where my family was sitting at, like everyday.

Our family was made up by –believe it or not– _thirteen_ members, and although everyone was an individual being apart, we all had two things in common. First, we were all older than eighty years old, and second, we weren't humans.

Everything had started with Carlisle, our family's father in the truest sense of the word. He had been changed by some foreign vampire about four hundred years ago.

– Yes, _vampire_. We were vampires; those scary creatures with big fangs and uncontrollable bloodlust. Well, actually, our fangs weren't that big, that was just Hollywood kitsch, and the urge for blood is something handle able like alcohol. But later more about this subject…

So, Carlisle was the first in our Cullen's family-tree. Then, about two hundred years later, he had found Edward dying in some hospital in Chicago and changed him. After Edward came Esme, Carlisle's beloved wife and our careful mother. Then Rosalie and a few decades later her mate Emmett came. Alice and Jasper weren't changed by Carlisle like the others had been, but they had been welcomed to the family like everyone else. Then, about eighty years ago, Bella and Chloe "stumbled" to the family, whereat Bella had been changed by Edward who was her mate now; and Chloe had joined the family like Alice and Jasper had done before her.

So, those were the _vampire_ members.

Then, there were two shape-shifters and a half-vampire (I hadn't believed it myself when I had heard about it the first time, either). Renesmee, or mostly just called "Nessie", was Bella and Edward's daughter, who was born before Bella had become a vampire.

The two shape-shifters Seth and Jacob were with us because of the same reason. Both of them had fallen for a Cullen-girl and had decided to stay with their love forever.

So, all Cullens had a mate, a partner for life (or in our case: for _eternity_). – All, except for _me_. And I had to admit, I really liked my independence, though I sometimes felt like the odd man out.

See, as I said. All Cullens were over his or her eighties and not human. But of course we had to _pretend_ human as long as we wanted to live "ordinarily".

After a few discussions we had agreed on this "public version" of us Cullens:

Carlisle and Esme were a happily married couple (this part was not a lie) who, because of some medical reasons, couldn't have children themselves. But because they both loved kids (again not a lie), they had decided to adopt some.

First, there were Edward and his "little sister" Renesmee, who were adopted in some orphanage in Chicago. Alice and Emmett were adopted, too, but separately in two other orphanages. Rosalie and Jasper Hale (only Jasper's last name was wrong) were Carlisle's "older sister's" kids for whom he had been taking care of since the "real parents" had died in a tragic car accident a few years ago.

Bella, Chloe and I were Esme's "dead brother's" children and we were called the "Wing-siblings". We had agreed to _my_ last name, because Chloe's French name would have been too eye-catching and Bella's name "Swan" could be found on Forks' graveyard where her real father Charlie Swan was resting in peace.

And, last but not least, Jacob Black and his "younger brother" Seth, who where godchildren from some unknown Indian tribe in the US. Again, this was just a half-lie. "Black" was just Jacob's real last name. Seth's was "Clearwater", but here it was almost the same problem like with Bella. There was another Clearwater in La Push, the Indian reservation near Forks, and she was still alive. Seth's older sister Leah Clearwater was a shape-shifter, too, and had passed the last eighty years with wandering from one place to another, to return to her original home like her little brother had done a year after her.

Yes, I did admit that this was pretty complicated; especially for humans who weren't able to memorize so many details as we vampires, shape-shifters or half-breeds could. I still remembered all the crazy versions of our crazy story that the human inhabitants in Forks had created when we had just arrived here. But the main thing of agreeing to this story was that if anyone of us Cullens was asked about it, we would give the exact same answers.

At the beginning we had to repeat our story several times –especially Chloe, who had been asked the most because of her "_unvampireish behaviour_", as Seth always called her– but in the mean time, that meant after about a year, everything had become rather quiet and calm.

So, because of the chaotic first year and my sharp senses, I had assumed that I would know everyone in Forks High or the entire town. But no matter how long I searched in my brain, I simply couldn't find that strange girl's face form before in my memory.

Maybe she was new. But that would have caused a giant chaos in school and town, which I definitely would have noticed.

I frowned in concentration. _Who the heck was she?_

"Derick." Emmett interrupted my thoughts with a loud cough. He was knocking with a finger impatiently on the table but he had his powers under control so the table wouldn't break.

I looked up irritated. "What?"

"I think we have a deal," he reminded me, grinning triumphantly and pushed a plate with a piece of pizza in front of me.

I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

His grin grew bigger. "Be a good boy and eat up your meal."

I grimaced and lifted the oily piece of food up to eye it specifically from all angles.

_Do never have a bet with Emmett again. Do never have a bet with Emmett again._ I chanted to myself and took a small bite. I chewed and gulped quickly. Ew… this was so _disgusting._

Emmett roared with laughter and clapped his hands like a little kid at Christmas. "Good boy. Just go on like that."

I grimaced again. I was _so_ going to die.

"Be brave, Derick," Alice encouraged me. "You'll be fine."

I rolled my eyes, noticing the future tense. Great, so my body would have recovered in a few centuries. But what was about _now_?

"She meant that you'll be fine after you've thrown up in an hour or two," Edward chuckled.

"Go on! Go on!" Emmett cheered.

I sighed and took a bigger bite this time.

"This is cruel." Chloe was the only one who showed compassion. "Can't you think of anything else, Emmett?"

He grinned smugly. "Nope," he responded, stressing the "N".

"Have I ever told you how much I hate you, Emmett?" I hissed.

His grin didn't fade the tiniest bit. "Just shut up and eat."

I groaned and took the third bite.

"Imagine the tomato sauce's some kind of delicious deer blood," Seth suggested and shovelled a big portion of noodles into his mouth.

I grimaced. "I don't like deer blood," I said stubbornly though it wasn't really true.

He shrugged. "Mountain lion?" he tried again.

I smiled a half-smile. "Sounds better."

"Don't talk, Derick," Emmett urged. "Eat!"

I threw an angry glance at him and took another bite. This was terrible. I looked at the pizza that was still left in my hand and suppressed a groan. Why was it still so _big_? I could never possibly eat all of this without having some permanent damage because of it later.

I looked secretly at Edward. _Help me, man!_

He held back a grin by pressing his lips tightly together and blinked slowly. – A nod.

_Thanks._ I told him before I took my last bit and started the show. I reached with a hand at my throat and coughed.

"Derick?" Chloe asked anxiously. Of course she was the first one who would fall for my act. She was simply too innocent and kind-hearted.

I pretended as if I was going to choke on the bite and gasped for air.

"Derick!" Chloe screamed alarmed and jumped to her feet.

"Take him to the washroom, Edward," Alice ordered. She played along – perfect.

Edward got up and led me out of the cafeteria. Before we left the room I heard Chloe start complaining about how irresponsible and childish Emmett was and Seth's lame efforts to calm her down. I grinned. Chloe was really the naïve little angel in our family.

"You wanted to talk to me," Edward said after I had thrown up. It was a statement, not a question.

I washed my mouth with water and nodded. We were alone in the washroom because all kids had left when they had seen us enter the room, so it was the perfect time to talk.

"Correct. Do you know this girl?" I called the girl's face from before in my mind and showed her to him that way.

Edward was our mind-reader and our family's "ear". He could read anyone's mind. Well, everyone's except for Bella's who was a so called "shield". She was immune to any kind of mental vampire gifts. Even I couldn't use my talent at her probably.

Edward frowned at my question. "Hmm… I think yes. But I'm not sure."

I raised an eyebrow. "You're not sure?"

"She doesn't appear in anyone's mind here at the moment," he said, looking thoughtfully through the window. "And I can't remember whether I've ever heard of her."

"Strange," I stated.

He nodded in agreement. "Why do you ask?" he wondered.

I recalled the happenings before lunch back into my mind, sharing her beautiful song with my "brother".

His eyes widened in surprise. "Amazing," he commented.

I nodded. "Yes, I've never heard something like this so I'm curious… Do you think she's new?"

He considered that for a second and shook his head. "I don't think so. I still remember that day when Bella had came her the first time. Everyone had thought about her, and the month _before_ and _after_ her arrival, too. It was quiet annoying." –he chuckled at the memory– "And remember the time when we had come here. – No, I don't think that it's possible to pop up in Forks without anyone to know, though it's bigger that it was eighty years ago."

I grimaced but nodded in agreement. But who the heck was she then?

The bell rang, announcing the start of the afternoon classes.

"I'll keep an ear open for you," Edward promised.

"Thank you." I smiled gratefully. He was one the most reliable persons I knew.

We went back to the cafeteria to get our bags. Bella was still there waiting for Edward. Chloe, Seth and Emmett were there, too. Seth's hand was on his love's thin shoulder to protect her from Emmett's annoyed glare.

"Emmett," Chloe called and raised an eyebrow. She looked tiny between those two giant boys.

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay, Ma'am." –he turned around to face me– "Chloe insists on me apologize to you. Though I told her that it was a bet and you've agreed to it so it wasn't my f-"

"Emmett!" Chloe cut him off sharply. A reproachful expression was lying on her face.

Bella and Edward forced back a grin and I pressed my lips tightly together so I wouldn't burst out in laughter.

Emmett groaned. "I feel _very_ sorry for tricking you with such a stupid bet. I hope that you're okay now, Derick," he said monotonously. I guessed that he was repeating Chloe's words.

"Apology accepted," I managed to respond without to laugh.

Oh, how I loved my "family".

* * *

_yeah... who doesn't love this family? ;)_

_hey there!_

_I hope now you know who "I" is... ^^ I didn't notice it before but **Derick**'s name wasn't mentioned ONCE in the last chap.... -was TOTALLY done on purpose! XDD *crossing fingers* hehe... ^^  
_

_**-don't forget to review! ;)**_

_-Mulan-_

_PS. this chap. came FAST - I had written some chaps for this story when I was writing on "Nightfall" so:_**_ don't get used to it! XDD_**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter3 –Melody of Secrets–**

We parted at the cafeteria door; everyone heading to his or her next class.

Emmett was a senior like Rosalie and Jasper. Edward and Bella were seniors, too, though Edward was the same age as I was – technically of course. But it was easier for them that way, because they were used to act like a married couple. Seth and Chloe were sophomores which had caused some rumors at the beginning because of Seth's inhuman height. Alice, Renesmee and I were all juniors but we barely had a class together. Only Physics and Gym because we needed lab- and gym-partners.

But my next lesson was Modern History so I was alone. My teacher was Ms. Fairyman. There was the rumor that this wasn't her real name but Edward had abnegated this guess. Ms. Fairyman was a woman in her middle-ages and was quiet tall and thin for a usual human. She always wore a colorful headband and big silver earrings which often got entangled in her black curly hair. Although her style of clothes was very eye-catching, she never used make up like other female teachers often did. She was very popular among the students, too, because of her unconventional methods and because she was a very fair and patient teacher. Alice didn't like her very much though. She didn't like her style of clothing. But in my opinion they would match perfectly together. They both were a little bit… _unusual_.

"Sorry for being late, Ms. Fairyman," I apologized when I entered the room.

She smiled. "You don't need to apologize, Mr. Wing. It's natural in your age that you get lost in the labyrinth of destiny form time to time."

I nodded and repressed a grin. "Thank you, Ma'am," I said and went to my seat.

No one giggled because of Ms. Fairyman's strange words. – She always talked like that.

"So," she began, clapping her hands. "Now, after we're happily united, let's start today's lesson." She walked around the desk and picked a pile of cards up from the table on the way. If you knew Ms. Fairymon for a while, then you didn't need to be Alice Cullen to know what was going to come next. "We're having a discussion-hour today," she announced with a smile and started riffling the lond slender cards. "We have got to know about the happy ending of the Cold War between the West and the East in our last lesson." –she looked every student into the eyes and her voice gained a slight mysterious tone when she continued– "But what would've happened if there had been no happy ending, what if the nuclear war would have broken out?" She paused, smiling at us with an expectant gleam in her eyes. "That's the issue of today's discussion."

She walked to the student in the first row on the wall-side and said, "Now, let destiny decide", which meant "Take a card and go look for your partner".

This was her version of forming teams. While other teachers simply ordered you to work with the student sitting next to you, Ms. Fairyman asked "destiny to decide". Before the lesson started she would put every student either on the wall- or the window-side a tarot card on his or her seat and then she would let the other side take a card from her second deck during class. The two persons with the same card had to work together without any ifs and buts. – Destiny had decided so objections were not accepted.

The first student looked at his card with an amused smile and walked over to the window-side to find his partner. The second shouted, after taking a look on his card, "Tree of eternity" and the student with that card on the window-side came and sat down next to him. The third one got up again and the forth called his partner, while Ms. Fairyman made her way through one row after another, giving comments on the card the student in front of her had just taken.

"Let's see what destiny has for you today, Mr. Wing," she said with a gentle smile when she stopped at my seat.

I stretched my arm and took the last card from the deck, which she was holding like a fan in her hands, without any hesitations. I always took the last one. I hadn't believed in fortunetelling since I was born and neither did I do now. I didn't care which card I would get. I mean, it was just a _card_, how should it be able to tell me something about my life? If I wanted to know what would happen to me next I would ask Alice and if I wanted to know what weather there'd be tomorrow I would watch the weather forecast or ask Alice again.

Without any expectation I flipped the card. It showed a silver treble clef on a dark blue background. Under the treble clef was aquamarine-blue water that made small round waves. In the two corners on top of the card were two identical ornaments that contained notes and each with two bass clefs. Three words were written under the picture in a squiggled handwriting.

"Ah, _Melody of secrets_," Ms. Fairyman said in a dreamy tone, rolling the syllables as if some sweet ice-cream was melting on her tongue, caressing her senses. "A very cryptic card. Its sense is never completely distinct unlike the other card. I guess it means that there'll be a change soon which will cover your eyes so you won't be sure whether this change is good or bad."

I nodded, repressing the urge to roll with my eyes. The word "_Nonsense_" flashed through my mind but I didn't say it out aloud. "Thank you, Ms. Fairyman," I said instead.

She nodded, still smiling, and went to the next student.

The seat next to min was empty (History was the only class in which I had a human desk neighbor) so I had to call my partner. Although we had done this kind of exercise a lot, I still felt stupid when I said "Melody of secrets" to find my partner.

I heard a chair been pushed back and quiet steps coming closer. I sighed. This was kid of insulting for someone who had a Doctor title in History. I guessed that I knew everything that had happened on this little planet. _Greek Antique_, _Roman Wars_, _Chinese_ _Dynasties_, _French Revolution_, _Russian Revolution_,_ World_ _War_ _I_, _World_ _War_ _II_, _Great Depression_, _Global Financial Crisis 2008 to 2009_, etcetera, etcetera… I had studied _everything_. And here I was. Sitting in some kind of under average small High School and discussing with a pubescent teenager –who was attached to me by _tarot cards_– and who probably didn't have the slightest idea what exactly the Cold War had been about.

Heaven forbid.

The chair next to mine was pushed back. I managed to repress a sigh and looked up.

If my heart hadn't already stopped beating over a hundred years ago, it definitely would have stopped _now_.

She pulled her long black hair back and looked at me calmly. Her sapphire blue eyes bored into mine.

"Umm… Hi, I'm Derick Wing," the words blurted out of me. Strange, I had never been one of those "Talk-trash-at-non-stop-when-you-are-nervous"-type… "We met before lunch at the parking-lot. Your voice is very impressing. I really have ne-"

"A waste of time," she suddenly cut me off. Her crystal-clear voice didn't show the slightest hint of impatience or anger. It was as if she simply pretended that I'd never spoken. Or maybe she didn't hear me, it was quiet loud in the room now because the other students had started their discussions.

I paused. "Excuse me?"

"There had never been a nuclear war," she explained with an unreadable expression on her face. "The two Great Powers managed to agree in the end and everything worked out fine. It's senseless to talk about something that had never taken place. – A complete waste of time."

I needed a second to react. She talked pretty fast, faster than usual humans did, and she spoke the words so convincing and sure that I almost believed her. "Well, you've a point here," I replied with a smile, paying extra attention to hide my razor-sharp teeth behind the lips. "But that's exactly the reason why we need to talk about this. You see, it was miracle that the West and the East managed to agree in the end. The entire world population was prepared for a third World War. So it's important to remember this, so it won't happen again. Don't you agree?"

She didn't respond, but her face didn't show the slightest bit of agreement. Maybe she was angry because she couldn't find any good argument against mine. But she didn't _look _angry. There wasn't the tiniest impulse in her face. Nothing.

"Er… are you okay?" I asked carefully, breaking the tense silence.

"You're not from here," she talked around my question, her face still perfectly emotionless.

"No," I admitted, going into her change of subject. "My family and I moved to Forks a y-"

"No," she cut me off again.

"Excuse me?" I frowned. What was she driving at?

"You're not from here," she repeated, her voice matter-of-factly. "You're not from this time."

My eyes widened. Did this girl know anything about our secret? It might be possible. She didn't look dumb. No, definitely not. Her blue eyes were watching me observantly, as if she could see everything – as if she knew everything…

'No, don't be ridiculous, Derick,' I reminded me. She couldn't possibly know something about us, no matter how intelligent she might be. I had to admit that my famly and I would always stuck out despite all our efforts to act human. But nobody would immediately jump to the conclusion that we were vampires. You need to be a real freak if you actually did.

But I was curious. What did this strange girl think and why would she conclude that I'd not be form this time?

I rested my head on my hand and put on an amused smirk. "So, am I?" I demanded in a causal tone. She didn't react so I went on. "And which time do I come from then?"

She shrugged – finally a human reaction. "I'm not you, so how should I know?" she asked back. "But you have experienced the Cold War."

I paused. I must've given her that impression when I objected her. Damn, I usually didn't slip. "You think so?" I tried to sound like joking.

No answer, but her sureness on her face approved my guess.

I chuckled, it sounded a little nervous. Man, that girl's secretiveness was driving me insane. "Wow, then I must be," I paused and pretended as if I was calculating. "about 140 years old now." –I laughed– "That's impossible."

"We live in a world where a father rapes his daughter," she said, her face an unreadable mask. "Nothing is _impossible_."

The bell rang and she got up without another word. My eyes followed her to her seat in the last row at the window.

"Ah… how time flies," Ms. Fairyman said, clapping her hands. "Let's part here and unit tomorrow again. No homework today."

The kids cheered. All except for the girl. She was packing her things; it seemed that she didn't even hear the noise around her. Then she rushed out of the room. Well, she didn't actually "rush", but there was something about her pace that reminded me on the opposite of leisurely.

I shook my head confused. _Who the heck was that girl?_

"You look irritated, Derick. Is something wrong?"

My head snapped up. Ms. Fairyman was standing in front of me with a gentle smile. The room was deserted except for the two of us. I got up and gathered my books. "Er… No, nothing."

She looked down at my desk and her smile grew wider. "It seems that the orchestra has already started playing."

"Excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow.

She tipped with a finger on the desk. I followed her gaze. The long rectangular tarot card was still lying there. I picked it up and offered it her.

To my surprise she shook her head. "No, no. Keep it."

"But-"

She smiled. "You're going to have a hard time, Derick. But it will end with a happy ending if you have faith in yourself and do your best."

Then she turned around and left the room without another word.

* * *

_I've to admit... Ms. Fairyman is a little similar to Trelawney from "HarryPotter" ^^ -but she not so creepy like Trelawney... at least I think she's NOT creepy... ^^ hehe..._

_but... c'mon! be honest! -who doesn't want to have a teacher like Ms. Fairyman? ;) -you love her, **admit it**!! XDD_

_-don't forget to **review**!! ;)_

_-Mulan-_

_PS. have you seen the new "Eclipse"-trailer? ^^  
_


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter4 –Music–**

I had gym next and I was late, so I had no time to speak with Edward about the weird conversation I just had.

I wanted to talk to Edward about it because he was a real big brother for me or at least he was more helpful than Emmett was. Jasper was good to talk to, too, but if it was about humans then Edward was the better option.

Stupidly, I had gym and he had English with Bella now, so no chance – especially because he was with Bella. I would have to wait until school was out no matter I liked or not. The changing room was already deserted when I entered. I changed at inhuman speed since I was alone and running late. I looked at the mirror at my locker before I left. I had used to hate doing that but Alice would always scold me if I didn't and in the mean time it had become routine.

Alice was kind of obsessed with clothes and everything else that was connected with fashion. Because of some mysterious reasons, she loved using me as her male model.

I looked at my reflection. I had to admit that my features weren't very… boyish. My face was round, almost heart-shaped, framed by short messy dark-brown hair. My eyebrows were a little too thin for boys, too. I looked quiet thin and lanky, especially when I stood next to Jacob. When I was a child, my only solace had been my height. I had always been the tallest one in our neighborhood. But now… now I was the smallest one. Edward was exactly two inches taller than I was. –_Two_ inches! How frustrating was that?

I sneaked into the gym without Coach Johnson noticing. Alice and Renesmee –who was lovingly called _Nessie_ by all of us– weren't surprised about the lateness so Alice must have spied behind my back. –Great.

And of course she didn't feel the slightest bit ashamed about it. "You kept us waiting," were the first words she addressed to me.

I fell in a light jogging pace next to them. Actually, it was just like walking or even standing for me, but we were still faster then the humans who were all soaked in sweat.

Nessie's arm touched mine slightly and for a brief second the gym vanished in front of my eyes. Instead, my own face filled my view. A thoughtful frown was on my forehead. Showing confusion and frustration. _"Are you okay?"_ her voice echoed in my head.

Then her arm disappeared and the normal gym-scene reappeared in front of my eyes again. I blinked a few times. Her special gift was still irritating me even after all the years. "As fit as a fiddle, if you mean that." I grimaced.

"She _is_ strange," Alice pointed out, raising an eyebrow.

"Huh?"

"That girl," she explained impatiently, rolling her eyes at me. "Don't act the unknowing one. You are a bad actor, Derick."

Without knowing why and how, a sudden wave of curiosity washed over me, demanding for more information on that subject. A little part in me wondered where this weird feeling came form but the curious part won the fight. Being curious was simply a part of my nature, I couldn't help it.

"You know her?"

Her eyes narrowed slightly in annoyance and I knew the answer. I sighed in disappointment.

"Her name is Chime," Nessie stepped in which surprised me; she usually didn't bother to anticipate in discussions. "She sits next to me in English."

I looked at her in astonishment, though more because of the fact that I felt angry with her for not telling me sooner, than the news. "Chime?" I wondered. "That's an uncommon name."

She nodded in agreement. "But it fits her last name. –Winds."

Alice frowned. "What kind of name is that? –_Chime Winds_." She giggled. Even Alice found it strange.

However, it somehow fit her. He beautiful voice really could be compared with wind chimes.

"And what else do you know?" I asked, still thirsting for more information.

Nessie shrugged. "Not very much," she admitted, her voice neutral. "I kind of like her. She doesn't talk very much unlike other humans. Actually she doesn't act very human at all."

"And what else?" I inquired. I already knew what she was telling me.

"Nothing," she answered after a few seconds. "But sometimes…" she paused, her chocolate-brown eyes –her mother's eyes– looking into the distance.

"Sometimes?" I demanded when she didn't continue after a few seconds.

"Sometimes I have the feeling that she isn't present at all."

Class ended like everyday. We drove home together –Edward, Bella, Nessie, Alice and Jasper in Edward's new silver VolvoS60R-2075; Chloe, Seth, Rosalie, Emmett and me in my white Subaru Legacy2090. Esme –our mother in so many ways– welcomed us with a warm smile like always. Cute, small dimples appeared on her face when she stretched her full lips. She awaited us in the giant living room of our giant house.

We lived in the house they already had used eighty years ago, but since our family had grown enormously, we had to make some changes. First of all new rooms had to be built. If you lived in a family of _thirteen_ very different people, separate rooms weren't just luxury but a must.

Alice and Jasper's room was on the second floor together with Alice's special beauty salon, a giant bathroom and an over-the-top-big closet with all kinds of things for a grown-like-human-person to wear. On the third floor were Rosalie and Emmett's room together with Edward and Bella's room and Nessie's room. Carlisle's study was in the attic and so was my room. Jacob and Seth had their own "district" far away from our "vampire-rooms" on the ground floor next to the kitchen. It was next to the kitchen because on the one hand the smells in the kitchen covered the vampire smell which stung like fire in their nose and vice versa, and on the other hand because they really _needed_ the kitchen in handy reach.

After some arguments, Jacob hand agreed to Chloe and Seth living together in the "Wolf-district". Bella and Edward had both insisted on her daughter and Jacob having separate rooms though. I could understand them a little – they were parents after all.

"How was school?" Esme asked, looking up from her blueprints.

"Same old" Seth shrugged. The others nodded and murmured in agreement.

"Oh, well, _I_ think it was entertaining," Emmett interjected, flashing an impossibly huge grin at me. I ignored him.

Esme raised an eyebrow. "Really?" she wondered, her tone curious and skeptical at the same time.

"Nothing," I replied, rolling my eyes at Emmett. "Emmett was just Emmett."

Esme nodded amused. "I see," she giggled.

Esme was a wonderful woman. With her soft caramel colored curls and the gentle smile, she looked like a storybook-mom. Which she actually was. She did anything for us –her "children"– and Carlisle, her husband for eternity. She even accepted the great challenge of learning cooking only for Jacob and Seth, which is kind of the most difficult task for a vampire since everything tasted and smelled awful for us except for blood.

"I smell food!" Seth sang, his nose raised up and sniffling in the air like a little puppy. Then he stormed off into the kitchen. Chloe followed him, shaking her head with laughter.

"Pig," Emmett commented.

"Bear-Boy!" Heavy protest came from the kitchen. Jacob was at home, too. Their voices were dampened by their full mouths.

A perfectly normal evening.

Soon everybody spread out in the house, doing different things. Alice and Nessie sat together on the couch, heads stuck together over a laptop, discussing the new fashion show in Paris. Emmett and Jasper started playing a videogame. It was a new game and I noticed with great satisfaction that Emmett was losing. Rosalie was reading a book in Chinese – she had decided to learn the language out of boredom last Saturday. Edward and Bella went out for a walk, so I couldn't speak with him again.

I went upstairs into my room instead, deciding that I could wait a little longer.

My room was in the attic and was filled with black shelves that went form the dark wooden floor up to the white ceiling. There was a metal ladder for them because they were simply too high. All my furniture were black, even the giant divan in the middle of the room. The shelves were mainly filled with only two things: CDs and sheet music.

I had _everything_. Bach, Mozart, Badelt – their greatest pieces were all neatly sorted in my shelves, ordered in time and my favorites. There was a special shelf for my own compositions and another one for the pieces I had written together with Edward. Maybe that was the reason why we got along so well – our shared passion for music.

There were only two windows in the room, one was in the right corner and went from floor to ceiling and the other one was a roof-light and hung right above my desk. No curtains – I needed free view on the forest and the river outside. I had always found the nature as a great source of inspiration, though the sky over Forks didn't offer very much to see.

There wasn't much else in my room. A rotary piano stool, a white laptop and a hi-fi system that –thanks to modern technology– was put in the wall at my desk.

The desk was black, of course, and as long as the keyboard opposite to it and almost twice as wide as the keyboard. Because I needed the nature for work, it was directly at the window. The desk was covered with different sheets of paper, all filled with staff and notes. And then there were pencils of course and a bottle of black ink together with an old quill. I couldn't explain it but I preferred real ink over simple ball-pens for writing my music – it gave everything a special and vivid touch.

My room was a place for work, almost an office – well, okay, it _was_ an office. But it made me relax somehow. All the music in it made me feel welcomed and at home.

There was only one other room that could make me feel so at ease like here in my room, and that was the _piano room_ on the ground floor behind the living-room.

I finished my homework in fifteen minutes and went over to cleaning my desk. –It was a total mess! No matter how hard I tried, I simply couldn't keep it as tidy as my shelves were. Probably because my desk was a place of progress, the place where I composed all the pieces for piano, violin, flute and sometimes even for entire orchestras. All the different sheets laid slovenly on my desk –some only half filled or with only one line–, all waiting for me to eventually finish them and order them into my shelves.

I needed more time to tidy up than for doing my homework. After about half an hour, I looked down at the different piles of paper – each piece of music got a pile itself.

There were a lot of piles…

I gave up with a frustrated groan and pushed the play button for my hi-fi system. Schumann's "_Träumerei_" filled the air, inviting me to relax. I sighed, let myself fall on the divan and closed my eyes. I wouldn't fall asleep –I _couldn't_ fall asleep–, but it still felt good to not see anything from the world for a while.

Well, not anything, actually. Icy-blue eyes stared at me, pierced through me, forced me to open my eyes with a groan.

Endless curiosity was a curse sometimes. I needed to find out who that girl –Chime Winds– was, as fast as possible, then I could sleep peacefully again – metaphorically spoken.

Someone knocked at the door.

"Come in," I called, got up and turned around to see who it was.

"You want to talk to me?" Edward asked, closing the door behind him. He phrased it like a question but actually, he could have just stated it as a matter of fact.

"Yes," I answered anyway, though both of us already knew the answer. "It's that girl."

Edward nodded, leaning against the _Baroque-Shelf_. "I kept my ears open as promised, but" –he shrugged– "I didn't find anything. Not a single student was thinking about her during the last two periods." –he chuckled– "Well, all except for Alice of course, who got curios and spied behind your back."

I grimaced. "Yeah, I'd figured that one out."

He laughed.

"I guess, I don't want to know her poisonous reply," I muttered, arms crossed in front of the chest.

He shook his head, still laughing. "No, better not."

Schumann's "_Träumerei_" came to an end, the final note hung in the air for a few more seconds, then there was silence and another second later the next melody started. It was Beethoven's "_5th symphony_" – also called the "_Schicksalssymphonie_".

Edward stared at me during the entire time; his expression was thoughtful and interrogative.

"What?" I asked a little too impatiently. Actually, I already knew what was going on thanks to my special gift, but this time it made me frustrated somehow and I insisted on him telling me himself. "What is it?"

He shifted his weight form his right leg to his left, his golden eyes not leaving mine during the process. "I was just wondering…"

"No, you were _wishing_," I corrected.

"You know it makes no difference here." He smiled. "I was just wondering," he continued then. "why do you want to find out more about that girl? You already got her name, didn't you? What else do you want to know about her?"

That was a good question. I shrugged. "You know me. When I'd found something new, I need to know _everything_ about it. Over-the-top-big curiosity," I replied, tapping on my head with a smirk.

He didn't seem to be completely convinced with my answer but didn't ask more about it, either. He shrugged. "Probably."

I raised an eyebrow. _Probably?_

There was a knock at the door and Esme appeared in the doorway. "Sorry for interrupting," she said with an apologetic smile. "Carlisle just came home and I was wondering whether you would come downstairs and play with us?"

_Wondering_ again. Why couldn't people just admit that they were _wishing_? That word wasn't much longer than the other – it was even shorter!

"Sure," Edward said and I turned the hi-fi system off. Following them down the stairs.

The others were already in the winter garden –the _piano room_–, waiting for us. The _piano room_ was actually more like a _music room_ since it held more than just a piano. There were two of them –both royal black–, a violin and a silver German flute, which Rosalie and Chloe were taking out of the cases at the moment. Edward took place behind one of the pianos, where Bella was already waiting for him, and I sat behind the other. Emmett stood behind Rosalie, who was tuning the violin with Edward's help at the piano. Jacob and Nessie sat down on the beige tiled floor, leaning arm in arm against the glass. Alice sat down on the floor cross legged right in front of our two pianos, Jasper stood behind her. Chloe went to my side with her German flute in her hand, Seth followed her like a shadow. She smiled at me happily, I smiled back. Esme and Carlisle sat down on one of the benches.

Chloe led the flute at her lips and played a clear C, it hung in the air, warm and waiting. When the tone had faded away, Edward and I started as always in perfect accord without giving each other a signal, Rosalie fell in and then Chloe. Music filled the room, the air, setting each single molecule into swing, made them dance. I smiled. That's what I loved.

I looked up and saw Esme smiling back at me. Her golden eyes so soft and warm like liquid gold. Then she started to sing.

"_I have found a treasure_

_and that is you_"

She stopped and Carlisle continued, looking at Esme with pure love.

"_So gorgeous and worthwhile_

_more than all money in this world_"

Edward went on. He turned his face toward Bella, looking her deep into the eyes.

"_You sleep at my side_

_I could watch you the whole night through_

_See how you sleep_

_Hear how you breathe_

_Until the sun replaces the moon_"

Bella smile back and replied.

"_You do it again and again_

_Take my breathe with a smile_

_When you lie at my side_

_I can't quiet believe it_

_That someone like me_

_deserves someone so gorgeous_" Edward joined her for the last two words."_like you_"

Esme and Carlisle fell in and the chorus began.

"_You are the best that ever happened to me_

_it feels so good, the love you give_

_forgetting all the rest_

_when you are with me_"

Then we were all singing – all except for Chloe of course, who was playing the flute.

"_You are the best that ever happened to me_

_it feels so good, the love you give_

_I could say it all day_

_it is great, that you live_"

A bridge followed, slow, sweet, awaiting. Then Jasper's deep voice filled the room. He was looking down at Alice, who was stretching her neck to smile back at him.

"_Your smile is addictive_

_like a shooting star out of space_"

He stopped –still looking at Alice – and Emmett continued, his booming voice was unusually soft and warm, but the grin on his face was still fresh and totally Emmett.

"_Even if you were poison_

_I would stay with you until the end_"

Another bridge and then Alice's bell-like voice sang.

"_Your departure would destroy everything_

_and more, I don't want to imagine_"

Rosalie continued without to stop stroking the violin.

"_It's way too nice to be with you_

_and give and receive love, forever_"

Then Jacob's deep voice went on while smiling at Nessie with dark warm eyes.

"_Giving me strength_

_sweep all doubts away_"

And Nessie responded.

"_Tell me thousands of lies_

_I'd trust you anyway_"

Jake took over again.

"_But one question stays_

_Do I really deserve_" Nessie joined him for the last two words like her father had just done with her mother before. "_your love?_"

The chorus began again and we all sang.

"_You are the best that ever happened to me_

_it feels so good, the love you give_

_forgetting all the rest_

_when you are with me_

_You are the best that ever happened to me_

_it feels so good, the love you give_

_I could say it all day_

_it is great, that you live_"

A long bridge, the sound of the two pianos danced in the air, the soft tunes of the violin and the flute accompanied them in perfect harmony. The flute stopped and Chloe sang, her voice as high and clear as Alice's. She was smiling at Seth.

"_When my life becomes empty_

_You are my sun and give me light_"

She lifted the flute back to her lips. Seth looked down at her –smiling– and answered.

"_'Cause every time you smile, I_

_feel simply good and right_"

Carlisle took over, his eyes not only on his wife but on his entire family now.

"_When I am restless, you_

_are the journey without an end_"

And Esme did the same when she sang.

"_So I trust my tiny big world_

_with your protecting hands_"

And the chorus began for a third time and we all sang together.

"_You are the best that ever happened to me_

_it feels so good, the love you give_

_forgetting all the rest_

_when you are with me_

_You are the best that ever happened to me_

_it feels so good, the love you give_

_I could say it all day_

_it is great, that you live_"

I sang the last line alone. It was slow, sweet and contained all my feelings for my beloved family.

"_I could say it all day_

_it is great, that you all live_"

The last tunes hung the air, vibrated like a heart. And I felt good. And I felt at home.

* * *

_first of all: **thx SylviaWaise for helping me with translating and "rewriting" the song! ^^**_

_the original song is by "Silbermond" and written in German - actually, there is no violin and flute in the song (only ONE piano ^^) but I **love **the combination of those three instruments ^^ -just imagine the sound of violin and flute when you listen to the song ;)_

_you can find the song, the original lyrics and the REAL-translation and a **drawing of Derick's room** -as always- on my "**Night-Galary**" (which you can find on my profile here ^^)_

_sth. else now ^^: I've listened to this song **THE-HEAVEN-KNOWS-HOW-****MANY-TIMES**!! and I can't get it out of my head now!! *scream* -good thing that it's a great song! ^^_

_sth. **TOTALLY different** now XD: the two pieces, Derick listens to in this chap. are 1. **"Träumerei" by Robert Schumann **and 2. **"Symphony No. 5" by Ludwig van Beethoven**_

_about __**"Träumerei" by Robert Schumann**: "Träumerei" is German and means "musing" or "reverie" - perfect to relax ^^_

_about __**"Symphony No. 5" by Ludwig van Beethoven**: it's also called the "Schicksalssymphonie" = "Symphony of destiny" - maybe some of you already know this: Beethoven wrote this piece when he was (about to become) deaf, the hammering-theme symbolizes destiny that knocks on the door_

_the reason why I chose these two master pieces of music is clear now, I guess ^^_

_-please **review**!! ^^  
_

_-Mulan-_

**_PS. _**_I'm sooo~ sorry! but I'm afraid that the next chap will take a little **longer **than I'd planned since it takes **lots of time for rewriting the songs!**_**_ ._**_ (I noticed that during writing this chap) and I need lots of songs for the next chap(s) ^^ -so it's the same old saying again: **PLEASE BE PATIENT!! ;) thx!!**  
_


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter5 –Favor–**

"Um… Derick?"

"Yes, Chloe, what's wrong?"

"C-could you drive a little bit slower, please? Just a _tiny_ little bit?"

I turned towards her and found her pressed into the seat, hands dug into the soft black leather, mouth pressed to a hard line, eyes stuck to the windshield, torn wide open and filled with panic.

I eased the pressure on the gas pedal. She relaxed when the needle of the speedometer wandered from hundred down to seventy.

"Sorry," I apologized. "Is it better now?"

"Much better," she sighed in relief. "Thank you."

Chloe was probably the only vampire in the entire history who got sick in cars. Even after eighty years of getting used to cars and other kind of modern vehicles she still turned as white as a blanked when you drove faster than ninety miles per hour. She also was the only member of our family who didn't have a license.

"Why are you driving so fast anyway, Derick?" Seth complained rubbing Chloe's shoulders soothingly from behind. "There is no fire here, is there?"

"Sorry, didn't pay attention to the speed," I mumbled in response but in reality I couldn't tell exactly, either. I just wanted –_wished_– to finally reach the ugly school buildings. But they didn't need to know this detail – especially not Emmett, who was sitting in the backseat, full at ease.

"Hey, Derick, the day is long. How about a bet?" he asked. I saw an impossibly huge grin on his face in the rearview mirror. "The loser has to-"

"No, Emmett," Chloe cut him off, her voice shrill with fear and her face still unusually pale – even for a vampire. "I already feel sick, so stop thinking about anything in that direction and learn out of your mistakes."

"What mistakes?" Emmett inquired with faked nescience.

"The mistake for being you," I replied sarcastically.

The grin in the rearview mirror grew wider and even more smug. "You all know you love me."

"Rose," Chloe whined between her snickers. "What have you done?"

"The dimples," Rosalie answered, sighing theatrically. "It were the dimples."

We all burst out laughing at the exact moment when I turned in the parking-lot. We got out of the car, still giggling which made Edward to laugh along with us, Alice roll with her eyes and the rest stare at us in confusion. The bell rang, announcing the beginning of the first period and we spread out, each heading to his or her class.

I had Math first – yes, Math, that said a lot about my day, didn't it? My teacher was an averagely intelligent man in his fifties called Mr. Blate. His students often called him "Mr. Late" since he came exactly seven minutes later to class every time, but Jasper found his original name much more amusing.

I strolled to my desk, sat down and looked up at the clock hanging above the brilliant white modern _digital board_ –which had replaced the good old chalkboard thirty years ago– while waiting. The second when the hand jumped to eight-seven the door opened and Mr. Blate started classes.

Yeah, my life was so predictably boring that I didn't even need to be Alice to foresee the future.

Class dragged on. English followed after Math with some supposed-to-be-fascinating scene out of Shakespeare's "_Macbeth_" that I already knew by heart. That man really should have seen a therapist – Macbeth, not Shakespeare. Just think about "_She should have died hereafter_".

Physics was next on the list. We were doing some kind of scientific internship with spring pendulums. Our task was to count the number of vibration and note down how long it needed for ten periods. It was so stupid that I almost felt stupid for doing this. According to Nessie's yawns, she seemed to think about the same. Although it was a very simple job –you only had to hang a piece of weight on the spring and watch it doing the rest for you–, but for some of the students this happened to be a hugely difficult task to do. Mike Newton –Bella had told me that the boy was named after his great-grandfather who she had known from high school– somehow managed to make the piece of weight jump into his face, hitting his forehead where it left a bruise for the rest of the day.

Physics hurt.

My last class before lunch was Spanish which our teacher Mrs. Miller started with a surprise-test. The whole class –all except for me since I had the wonderful brain of a vampire– wished itself to some place far, far away from here. Finally when the bell ended class for the morning I started to pack my things into my bag and left the building for the parking-lot.

She wasn't here today.

I felt disappointment rise in me but shrugged it off quickly. I would see her later in History anyway. I turned around, heading towards the cafeteria when someone called my name form behind.

It was Ms. Cheney –the youngest grand-child of Bella's friends Angela and Ben who had passed away a few years ago–, the new music teacher at Forks High. She was quiet pretty with her long brown hair put in a casual ponytail and white framed glasses. And she was tall. Almost as tall as I was.

Two inches…

"_Pew_," she gasped, taking deep breaths after running to me. "Wow, Derick. You're real fast."

You haven't seen "real fast" jet, Miss, I thought, suppressing a grin. "Sorry, Ms. Cheney, I didn't hear you." –Lie– "What can I do for you?"

She smiled, puppy-eyes. "Are you free this afternoon? And the afternoons for the entire next week?"

I chuckled, knowing what she meant. "Need a pianist, huh?"

"_Yes_," she whined in desperation. "John is sick. Blind gut. He's at the hospital and totally _out_ for the entire next _month_. And the show is already next Sunday!" She looked up at me, her arms frozen above her head after gesticulating wildly in the air. "You are our last hope, Derick," she begged in a high-pitched whisper. "_Save us!_"

I couldn't help it and laughed. I liked Ms. Cheney, she was as popular as Ms. Fairyman but only half as weird as her. Ms. Cheney was nice in a natural way that made children believe that being a teacher didn't mean to be serious and all-knowing but to be as human as anyone else.

"Sure," I agreed and she sighed in relief, her arms fell and her whole body relaxed. "I just need to take my siblings home after class," I added.

"Of course," she approved, smiling. "That's absolutely no problem. Oh, and could you, please, ask Chloe to come, too? Laura Crowley" –great-grandchild of Bella's former classmates Lauren Mallory and Tyler Crowley– "had tried for ages but she just can't manage the high notes."

I nodded. "Sure, I'll ask her." The smile on Ms. Cheney's face grew wider; it was happy and grateful. "Then I'll see later, Ms. Cheney," I said, turning toward the cafeteria.

She nodded like a little child that agreed to a request of its mother's. "Yes, bye, Derick. And thank you _so_ much."

Chloe said immediately yes when I told her, of course. I'd never seen or heard that girl say no to someone who asked her for a favor.

I almost rushed to History after the bell had rang. My nerves all tingling with anticipation when I opened the door.

I didn't find her at first. She was sitting in the last row at the window, her head hunkered over a book and her long black hair hid her face like a velvet curtain, isolating her from the world around her. She looked kind of… _wrong_ in the simple classroom with maps and timetables hanging on the walls – as if she didn't belong to this place, as if she wasn't present at all.

Ms. Fairyman entered the room and started class by clapping her hands once, pulling me out of my trance.

Chime looked up from her book and our eyes met for a split second. Her shiny blue eyes pierced through me like ice.

I turned away.

_She hadn't noticed,_ I told myself. _I had turned away much too fast for any human to see._

I sneaked another glance back to her, just to make sure.

She was back in her book again, the black wall of her hair keeping me out in the unknown.

"I'm so excited," Chloe said, almost hopping in her seat while I drove back from home to school for the rehearsal. "Do you know what they are singing?"

I shrugged. "Just a few old songs from the beginning of the century, I guess."

She smiled happily, looking out the window with a dreamy expression. "Oh, I _love_ that time."

I smiled back. –Sure she loved that time, since it was the time when she had met Seth and finally had discovered the bright side of life after a very long time of loneliness.

We arrived just in time as everybody was taking place on his or her position on the stage. Ms. Cheney rushed to our side overwhelming us with her gratitude and gave us all the music sheets we needed, explaining special details to Chloe.

I had been right. Those were all old songs from the beginning of the twenty-first century we knew, partly even by heart.

Chloe climbed on the stage –the humans making her extra space right in the middle of the front line, pushing a pouting Laura aside– while I took place behind the simple old school piano among the rest of the band.

Ms. Cheney stood in front of the stage, looking up at the choir and smiled encouragingly. Then she waved towards the band and we started playing the intro.

The intro was quiet, a whisper, like cicadas at a clear night, growing, building tension and anticipation for the song.

"_Be like the river, runs to the ocean_

_Determined no matter what happens_

_Not fearing mountains, cliffs or time_

_A strength only one of its kind_"

I grimaced. Sure, the choir was probably great for dumb human ears but being a vampire made it a little more difficult to enjoy the song. Ms. Cheney seemed to be hugely proud of her team though. She conducted them with so much enthusiasm and such a happy smile that I couldn't object but to smile, too.

"_D'you feel like give up? –Think of this reminder:_

_In anyone of us there lives a fighter_

_With courage stronger than a sword_

_But it's his heart that saves the world_"

Crescendo, forte, power, beauty leading directly into the chorus.

"_Let us get up_

_Get on your destined way_

_All the fighters of light_

_All the fighters of light_

_Where are you?_

_You are needed_

_Get on your destined way_

_All the fighters of light_

_All the fighters of light_

_Calling all the fighters of light_"

A short bridge – no, just a break, a dramatic pause, then the second strophe.

"_Don't be afraid of having a weakness_

'_Cause you can change all of your mistakes_

_Be free, calm and wise_

_Even crazy from time to time_

_Don't shut your eyes thus the light might blind you_

_Don't let false pride take away your cool_

_Learn forgiving and being fair_

_Learn to let go and to share_

_Let us get up_

_Get on your destined way_

_All the fighters of light_

_All the fighters of light_

_Where are you?_

_You are needed_

_Get on your destined way_

_All the fighters of light_

_All the fighters of light_

_Calling all the fighters of light_"

A guitar solo followed. The musician was a senior and played pretty well – he didn't make any stupid mistakes at least. I took the time for scanning the faces on the stage. Most of them were younger students, freshmen and sophomores and a few juniors. The seniors were all down in the band, considering themselves as too cool for the choir, I guessed.

The solo came to an end and I looked back down on the keys, preparing for the special verse for which Chloe had to come.

Then something unbelievable happened. I hit a wrong note. Ms. Cheney turned towards me in surprise. She hadn't seen that one and neither did I. I –Derick Henry Wing– had hit a wrong note… That hadn't happened for more than a hundred years!

I swallowed and caught myself quickly to go on playing. Luckily it didn't bother Chloe and her solo-partner.

Her solo-partner…

I looked up after a few seconds, sneaking a peek at the stage and found her. She was looking straight forward, not at Ms. Cheney or anyone else in the room. Her bright blue eyes shined like a pair of aquamarines and her long smooth hair gleamed in its pure black glory. And she was singing, together with Chloe, and her voice was just as clear and high as a vampire's.

"_And he knows his limits, still keeps pushing on_

_Fighting for the light 'til all is gone_

_His dream is his power_

_A beautiful flower_

_That grows higher and higher_

_That's why he's a fighter_"

The final chorus began and the whole choir joined them but I still just heard her voice, as if she was the only one in this world singing.

"_You are awaited_

_This is a sign_

_For all the fighters_

_For all the fighters_

_We are waiting_

_Awaiting you_

_All the fighters of light_

_All the fighters of light_

_Calling all the fighters of light_"

The song ended abruptly, leaving the desire for more in your heart. I wanted more, _wished_ more. That voice…

"That. Was. _Wonderful_!" Ms. Cheney congratulated us, clapping her hands like Alice did at sales. "Let's have a break – you deserved it."

The kids cheered, jumping of the stage and falling in usual student chitchats. I saw Chloe walking towards Chime with a bright smile, introducing herself. Chime took the offered hand and shook it like any other person would do. I noticed with surprise that she didn't react the slightest bit about the unusually cold of a vampire's skin.

"Derick?" Ms. Cheney called me so I had to force my attention away from the two very different girls. "That was great," she said.

I shook my head. I was sure I would have blushed if I could. "No, it wasn't. I'm sorry, I slipped. It won't happen again, promise."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," she reassured me. "It's a new song for you and you hadn't any time to practice. You were brilliant as always."

I smiled apologetically. "Thanks. But still, I promise, I'll do better from now on." _Since there are no more surprises here now._

"I'm sure you will," she agreed happily. "Something else," she suddenly changed the subject. "Derick, do you still write songs?"

I shrugged. "Sure, from time to time."

"Could I ask you for another favor?" she pleaded, smiling apologetically.

A wish. It wasn't _the_ wish of course. That was very seldom. But I still could see it in her, growing, blooming, shining.

"Sure," I said and asked though I already knew: "What can I do?"

She smiled that happy smile again that was more child than adult. She turned around and called "Chloe! Chime!" and waved them toward us.

I swallowed, suddenly finding myself unusually nervous.

"Yes, Ms. Cheney?" Chloe asked. Chime stood behind her like a shadow with those raven-black hair of hers. She didn't say anything, just looked at her teacher interrogatively.

"You two were _awesome_ up there," she praised them, making Chloe to look down on her feet in shame. Chime, again, didn't react at all. "And I'd really like you two sing a second song together – just the two of you. What do you think?"

"Really?" Chloe breathed, her voice high and squeaky with excitement.

"Yes," Ms. Cheney confirmed. "Would you like that?"

Chloe –being the shy, selfless girl– looked up at Chime who shrugged in agreement.

"Good," Ms. Cheney said, turning back to me. "Now, Derick. Could you, please write a song for them? I know you will do perfectly as always."

I smiled, feeling a little smug. "Sure, no problem."

"Perfect!" Ms. Cheney cheered in satisfaction. "This will be greatest show Forks has ever seen!"

_Well, t__hat isn't such a difficult task to do, I guess.  
_

_

* * *

_

_and again: thx for helping me at rewriting the song, SylviaWaise! ^^_

_I kind of love those songs in my chaps - they make them so much **loooonger**! XD_

_but they also need a lot of time to (re)write since I always try to adapt them to the melody and to **keep the message of the original lyrics**...... -I hope you understand this and have patience for me ^^ **thx!!**_

_this song is by the German band "**Silbermond**" again and als always you can find the original lyrics and the real translation on my **Night-Galary**_

_oh, talking about it.... **What do you think about my Night-Galary?? **please, tell me your honest opinion so I can make it **better and better** ;)_

_sth. different now: I really enjoyed writing this chap - it was sooo funny with the **descendents **of Bella's former high school friends ^^ and the part with Derick's classes!_

_we had to do that scientific intership with **spring pedulums** in class, too - it was...... um.... very **calming **- when we moved on to pendulums then, we (a group of three girls) almost fell asleep! hypnoses really work!! XD but we didn't manage to make the pieces of weight jump into our faces! XD_

_and about __the_ _**math-teacher**: I **really **had a math-teacher in middle school who used to come **exactely **seven minutes later every time! until now I couldn't figure out **why **he did that...... XD_

_Oh! you've probably figured it out by now: Derick has a **special gift** - what __exactely __it is, I'll tell you soon ;) maybe in the next chap already ^^_

_hmm... what was my plan for the next chap anyway? -oh, right! I **never **have a plan! XD_

**_Don't forget to review! ;)_**

_-Mulan-_


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter6 –****Not Human–**

Chloe invited Chime over to our house so we could start working on the song together. Chime had agreed to my utter surprise, she didn't seem like the girl that hanged out with people she barely knew – or with any people in general.

We drove home; Chime followed us in her old blue Volkswagen Fox.

"I like her," Chloe told me just before I turned into our driveway. "She seems to be nice."

"Sure," I commented halfheartedly.

She raised one thin eyebrow of hers at my sarcastic tone. "Do you know her?" she wondered.

"No," I answered honestly. "Actually, I haven't even known of her existence until yesterday, although we have History together."

She laughed in amusement. "Well, she appears to be a very quiet person."

Yeah, this was a shame since she had such a great voice. Maybe she did that to protect her voice – like that girl in the anime, that Alice had forced me to watch with her, who always wrote on a notepad to communicate with others.

But she didn't seem to be _that_ weird. At least I hadn't seen her carrying a notepad and pen with her like others wore watches and glasses.

I stopped at the front door to let Chloe get out and tell Chime to just park her car in the courtyard. I drove into our garage which was as big as an entire level of a parking deck. And it was well filled.

Our tastes of cars hadn't changed very much throughout the years. A vampire's characteristics were just like his skin – as hard as stone, never changing. We just got new models and sometimes in other colors. And of course new cars were bought since our family had grown.

Next to Alice's citreous Porsche and Jasper's new silver Ducati stood Nessie's cute little Volkswagen Beetle2079. It was bright green and had little lavender flowers on its hood and doors. That girl was in some ways more like her aunt than her mother.

Then there was Jacob's giant black Harley and Seth's much smaller blue one next to Emmett's huge camouflage jeep. A little further stood Rosalie's ruby colored BMW cabriolet –by which was the newest model ever– together with my Legacy and Edward's Volvo.

Bella's car was one of the oldest ones. It was the snow-white Ferrari that Edward had gotten her for her nineteenth birthday. She kept it not because it was a birthday present but to keep Edward from buying her a more expensive and fancier car.

Chloe, of course, was the only member of our family who had no modern vehicle.

Carlisle was still at work. His black Mercedes S135 was missing next to Edward's precious Aston Martin V12 Vanquish – which was the other old car since Edward didn't have the heart to let it go, let alone replacing it.

That was the difference between us. He loved Bella, cars and music. I loved music only – nothing against Bella of course.

I went upstairs, finding Chloe introducing Chime to Esme.

"It's so nice to meet you, Chime," Esme greeted her with one of those warm smiles of hers and pulled her into a hug.

Chime's eyes widened in surprise but turned back to that expressionless face of hers soon. Maybe it was just my imagination but for a very brief moment I thought I had seen a sad gleam in her ice-cold eyes.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Cullen," Chime replied politely. She didn't hug her back.

"Oh, just call me Esme, my dear," Esme told her, pulling back and looking at Chloe and me. "So, you're going to be creative?"

Chloe nodded eagerly and took Chime's hand. "Come, let's go to our _piano room_ and get to work."

Esme wished us good luck and went upstairs.

We crossed the living room, where we found Jasper sitting on the coach, reading a book.

"Hey, Jasper," Chloe called. "Say hello to our guest."

He looked up, smiling and offering a hand. "Hi. I'm Jasper."

"Chime," she responded curtly, shaking his hand. And again she didn't show the slightest bit of discomfort or shock or… or anything at the unusually low body temperature.

Jasper seemed to be irritated by her reaction –or the lack therefore–, too. He was frowning when Chloe pulled Chime into the _piano room_.

"She is strange," he muttered, too quiet for the two girls to hear in the next room.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Tell me something I don't know."

"No, no," he corrected. "It's not that she's just unusual but…" He shook his eyes, struggling with the right words.

"But?" I asked curiously.

"Derick?" Chloe suddenly called from the winter garden. "Are you coming?"

I sighed. "Let's talk later," I decided, joining the two girls to work.

He didn't respond, he didn't react at all. He just kept frowning at the door behind which Chime had disappeared.

"So," Chloe started, sitting down on a pillow on the floor at one of the pianos with pen and paper in her hands. Chime took place next to her. "What do you have in mind for us, Derick?"

I sat down o the piano bench, looked down at the beautiful ivory and ebony keys and said: "Something high-pitched, I guess, since Ms. Cheney had especially praised the two of you for your high voices. And something sweet and gentle because it's for a school performance. Something like…" I played a few beats, high, sweet, gentle. "this."

Chloe was all dreamy big eyes. "That's wonderful, Derick." –she turned toward Chime– "What do you think, Chime?"

She shrugged. "It's nice." Her expressions didn't say 'nice'.

Chloe noticed the contrast, too. "You can feel, if you don't like it. Derick won't mind."

No, I usually really didn't. Critique helped you to improve. But somehow, I felt a little angry now.

She shook her head. "No, it's okay," she replied coolly.

_It's okay…_

"Um… if you say so," Chloe said, blinking in confusion – both because of my grim face and Chime's cold distant eyes. "Then, let's go on?"

We worked like that for about two hours. I played something, Chloe praised it and Chime gave her okay – literally. She didn't say _anything else_.

It was really irritating.

She left at about seven for dinner. She told us that we could go on writing an finish the song if we wanted to and sped away before Chloe could protest.

Jasper went hunting later that night and I accompanied him. We raced up to the border of Canada, had a mountain lion each and some deer. I needed longer to finish because I was still new in this diet and drank more blood when I hunted, just a precaution.

Jasper waited patiently for me. I found him sitting on a rock when I was eventually sure that I had had enough blood to survive the next few days among humans. "You really don't need that much, you know," he told me. "You could make it with half as much."

"Maybe," I shrugged. "But I'd rather be sure."

He shook his head, smiling. "There's no 'maybe', Derick. We all know that your control is just as good as anyone of us."

I shrugged, suppressing the urge to object. I'd heard that sentence many of times already but I just couldn't quiet believe it. Carlisle, Edward, Jasper – it had taken them centuries to handle the temptation of human blood. Chloe had only needed a few months, sure. But she had already been used to animal blood because of her many journeys through jungles and deserts, deserted areas without a single human to be seen. And then, there was her history that drove her to this way of life. Nonetheless, it was simply _impossible_ that I would have learned to control it within five short decades.

"Can I ask you something else?" I changed the subject.

He nodded. "Go ahead."

"That girl that Chloe had invited today." I stressed the fact that it was Chloe and not me who had invited Chime. Somehow, I didn't like the idea of me inviting her. "You said she'd be strange. Could you tell me why you'd think so?"

He turned away, looking into the distance. "When I'd said this, you said: 'Tell me something I don't know'," he reminded me quietly after a long pause. "Why?"

"Because" –I pursed my lips, looking for the right words– "she kind of doesn't… act _human_."

He raised an eyebrow interrogatively.

"She barely talks and _when_ she talks it doesn't really make sense," I listed, thinking about our "conversation" during History. "She doesn't react to our low body temperature neither does she to our eye-color. She doesn't wince, her expression never changes – she doesn't even show _any_ expressions at all." –I laughed sarcastically– "I mean, _we_ behave more like humans than _she_ does."

Jasper didn't laugh about my little joke. He kept staring into the distance, jaw set and eyes serious.

I frowned. Had I said something wrong? "Jasper, what do you think?" I asked carefully.

"You are right," he answered after another moment of silence, face still turned toward the mountains at the horizon. "She doesn't act like a human at all." He got up. "The sun will rise in a couple of minutes. We should head home."

I stopped him, pulling him at his arm. "Why would you think that?" I demanded, my golden eyes meeting his.

"Because she doesn't feel."

* * *

_soo.... I still haven't explained Derick's **gift **yet... ^^ I'll soon - promise!! ;)_

_the anime that Alice had forced Derick to watch with her is called **"Special A" by Maki Minami **- it is absolutely AWESOME!! I LOVE it! XDD_

_There's that girl in "Specail A" called **Yamamoto Megumi** who is a very talented vocalist and communicates with other people through a notepad in order to protect her voice - it's kinda crazy but soooo **funny **when she gets the phone!! XDD_

_I've to admit that Chime's kind of getting on my nerves - she's so........ **ABNORMAL**!! XD - hmmm.... but I guess I've to deal with her now... my own fault XD_

_don't forget to **review**! ^^_

_-Mulan-  
_


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter7 –Reaction–**

Vampires were different from humans in more ways than diet or mortality. We were faster, stronger – both physically and mental.

Some were stronger or faster than others were, of course. Individual like any other living being. And some of us even had extra powers. Powers that could be compared to the ones superheroes in comics had. Gifts we had inherited from our former life as humans and had gotten even more defined by the transformation into a vampire.

Although these gifts were considered as very seldom, our family had a lot of gifted members.

Edward, for example, could read anyone's mind within a few miles radius. Anyone's mind except for Bella's who was something called a "shield" that protected her from and people she included into her shield from all kinds of mental invasions. Their daughter Nessie had inherited her parents' gifts and turned them upside down. She could share her thoughts with other people by a single touch and was resistant against all kinds of mental shields.

Chloe's gift was very strong but unfortunately not always very useful. She could see relationships, bonds that connected people with each other or even objects. She could tell how many friends a person had, whether he had strong connections towards his pets or plants or even his dining table.

Alice's gift was more practical. She was a real fortuneteller. She had visions of the future like all those crazy heroes and heroines in science fiction books and movies. Actually, she always saw different possibilities of the future. The future was not carved on stone; it changed as often as the number of waves in the ocean changed. However, as soon as a decision was made she could tell with a ninety-nine-point-nine percent guarantee what the outcome would be. Because of Alice, we hadn't needed to watch the weather forecast for decades.

Her mate Jasper had a completely different gift. He could read and manipulate other people's emotions. See what they felt and tell them what to feel if necessary. It was as powerful as Edward's gift. Because you were always thinking and feeling, even if you didn't know.

_She doesn't feel._

"What do you mean?" I asked in a whisper, not believing what he had just told me.

"Exactly what I said," he replied as quietly as I did, as if he didn't trust his own words, either.

I frowned, shaking my head. "But… but that's _impossible_," I tried to reason. "I mean, even if you think you're not feeling anything, you still are feeling something, aren't you?"

He nodded in agreement. "Yes, that's right. Or at least what I've believed as right for more than two hundred years." –he sighed– "But it seems that I was proven wrong."

I shook my head again, blinking in confusion. That couldn't be possible. You always felt, as long as you lived, even if you didn't know that or what you were feeling – you just did it. It was normal, human.

"Maybe she's a shield," Jasper guessed. "Like Bella."

"Maybe," I muttered. But I didn't actually believe it.

I spent the rest of the night alone in my room, sitting at my desk and staring at the song I had written for Chloe and Chime this afternoon. The music played in my head, singing to me like a good old friend. I imagined Chloe and Chime singing the song – it sounded wonderful like a choir of angels.

_Tomorrow seems to be like a sealed box of chocolate_

_What does it taste like? Is it just fate?_

_Letdown is like a phone number that wouldn't work sometimes_

_Don't stop trying, all will be fine_

_So many dreams livin' in my heart_

_The future is just about to start_

_Even if the sky were too far_

_Rise your hands up and reach sun, moon and star_

_Making my one thousand and first wish_

_One day happiness will be in my reach_

_No matter how long or how high the price is_

_May is the token on my side_

_I only have this thousand and first wish_

_One day happiness will be in my reach_

_Each heart has some wings to fly_

_Elating us to reach the sky_

_Open your eyes and see the light_

A piano bridge based upon Bach's famous minuet, then the chorus would start again and the song ends with another soft piano melody.

The song sounded wonderful, cheerful, hopeful. And then I remembered Chime's cold distant eyes and everything was just wrong.

"You want to write a new song?" Chloe asked her eyes wide with astonishment – maybe even shock.

"Yes," I answered curtly, pulling into the school parking lot. "I'm sorry, Chloe, I know you like the song. But…" _it just doesn't fit you that cold distant inhuman girl._ "I just had this other song in my head and I think it's even more suitable for the two of you."

She nodded, smiling. "If you say so," she said, trusting me completely like a little sister trusted her big brother. "I'm sure it's just as wonderful as the other song."

I didn't respond.

The new song was high-pitched, of course, though not as high as the other one. The melody was soft but not as sweet as before. It was… calm, the first snow in winter.

Rehearsal passed just like yesterday. Ms. Cheney praised and encouraged the choir and band, not becoming mad once. But that was probably because she was Ms. Cheney. Any other music teacher would have gone home hoarse.

After rehearsal, Ms. Cheney asked me about the song. I answered honestly, that I already had an idea and just needed to finish it. She overflowed me with praises.

Chloe invited Chime to come to our house and work on the song again but she refused.

"Just finish the song as you please," she said without any kind of emotion, turned on her heals and left the gym.

I went straight up into my room after rehearsal and finished the song within an hour. I'd always been fast when I got into my "composer-mode" –as some of my family members like to call me–, but I had never been this fast. I couldn't name where the sudden urge to write had come from. Probably not positive motivation.

Maybe frustration?

I showed Chloe the new song who –of course, because she was Chloe– was all for it. "You were right," she said, reading the lyrics. "This one goes better with her."

I nodded, though I wasn't quiet sure whether she was right or not. For the first time in my… existence, I couldn't tell the lyrics of a song I had written by heart. I couldn't even properly remember whether I'd written the lyrics or not. It was all a blur, like old human memories. I hadn't thought about anything while writing it, I had just noted it down, as if someone had dictated all the words to me.

"It's wonderful," Chloe romanticized, smiling dreamily. "Let's show it Chime."

My eyes widened in shock. "What?"

She sighed. "Derick, I know you don't like her very much." –of course she knew, she could see it live and in color– "But she's also a part of our performance. We have to show her."

"Why? She doesn't care at all, does she?" I snorted, crossing my arms in front my chest in protest. "She'll just say 'okay' and that's it. Why wasting precious natural resources if there's no need to?"

"Derick," she tried again, staring at me with those big golden doe eyes of hers. "please. It's important to me."

Sometimes I really hated to have so many siblings. Especially the younger ones –and Chloe was definitely a little sister, although she was about a hundred years older in reality– because you simply can't say "no" to them.

And so, fifteen minutes later, I found myself standing in front of the Winds' house in town.

The house was like any other house in Forks. Two stories, white painted wood façade, traditional grey pitched roof, little thought over porch. Nothing special.

It was kind of strange that someone so weird like Chime lived in a normal house. I would have been less surprised when she'd live in an unidentified flying object. But then again, the fact that she lived in an ordinary house made her even weirder.

Chloe rang the bell; it was an old buzzing sound, cutting through the air so loudly that it probably even startled the dead.

I grimaced. _Common old house._

Quick little steps rushed towards the door. I could tell that it wasn't Chime. Even if the house were burning, she'd probably still walk step after step out of the room. The door swept open, revealing a short but slender middle-aged woman standing in the doorframe. She had her long dark blond hair –which probably had been golden and shiny in her youth– put into a casual bun. Her face was slender and held slight hints of wrinkles. Her eyes were a warm dark brown, like oak wood. Her lips were full but not exaggeratedly and put into a surprised but nice smile.

"Hello," she greeted us. Her voice was low and rough but still warm, not the slightest bit like Chime's clear bell-like voice. But then again, she didn't look the tiniest bit like her daughter. "May I help you?"

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Winds," Chloe replied politely. "I'm Chloe Wings and this is my brother Derick. We are classmates of Chime's. Is she at home?"

Mrs. Winds' eyes grew wider and her mouth fell a little bit open. She was completely lost in Chloe's charm. She needed a few seconds to react. "Oh, friends of Chime's!" she said a little bit too loud. "Yes, yes, she's home. Come in." –she turned toward the stairs– "Chime! Your friends are here."

We came in and took our coats off. Mrs. Winds insisted on hanging them on the little metallic coat rack for us. She led us into a comfortably decorated living room, almost hopping with excitement. Either it was because of our vampire-charm all humans reacted to or because Chime didn't invite friends over very often. I guessed it was a little of both.

The living room wasn't big but comfortable and warm. There was a television opposite to a corner with couch and two armchairs opposite to each other. There also were a lot of plants and every free spot of wall or flat surface was covered with photos and pictures out of magazines like sunrises above the sea or camels in the desert.

We took seat on the little couch and Mrs. Winds rushed off into the kitchen for tea and cookies. When she had returned with a well-filled tablet five minutes later, Chime still hadn't make an appearance.

"Maybe she's busy and didn't hear me," Mrs. Winds apologized and got up. "I'll go look for her. Make yourselves feel at home."

We heard her going upstairs, her steps echoed in the whole house.

Chloe took three cookies from the plate. They were chocolate cookies and seemed to be homemade. She didn't eat them of course. She closed her slender fingers lightly around the cookies. There was a very quiet crunching sound, so quiet that no human would have heard it, even if he'd been in the same room. When she opened her hand again, there cookies had turned to a pile of dust, which she scattered upon the plate of cookies, so that it looked like someone had eaten a few cookies. In the mean time, I had taken our two cups of tea and dumped part of their content into a flowerpot.

It was all a standard ritual of our "Pretend-to-be-human-act".

We didn't take up a lot of time for it – just enough time for Mrs. Winds to reach the top stairs. She walked a little further down the hall, then she paused. There was a knocking sound and a door cracked open.

"Chime, darling, your friends are waiting for you downstairs." No accusation was in her voice, it was warm and gentle, but there was something else in it, too. A strange edge, something that you wouldn't find when a mother talked to her daughter.

Why did Mrs. Winds sound so uncertain while talking to Chime?

There was no response. Just a quiet thud –probably a book been put down on the table– and then the silent protest of wood –a chair– followed by silent steps. Two pairs of feet came down the stairs, one loud and clear, the other silent and barely audible, even for my vampire ears.

"Here we are," Mrs. Winds announced their appearance. Chime was standing behind her. Her unusually pale skin and piercing blue eyes reminded me of a scene our of a horror movie – "Ice Ghost's House".

She didn't greet us, she didn't appear surprised, didn't react at all – as always. She just took place in the armchair at Chloe's side.

"So, you have work to do?" Mrs. Winds assumed, sitting down opposite to Chime in the other armchair.

Her question was answered by awkward silence. I turned toward Chloe in surprise – she was usually the one who let the conversation. But she was busy with turning her gaze from Chime to Mrs. Winds and back. A slight frown of frustration sat between her thin eyebrows.

I suppressed the urge to raise an eyebrow at her and answered instead of her, killing the uncomfortable silence in the room. "Yes, we're writing a song for the school choir's performance next Sunday."

Mrs. Winds eyes widened in surprise. She turned her face towards her daughter and stared at her in awe, as if she had never seen her before. "I didn't know that you are in the choir, sweetheart."

Chime shrugged.

_Great response, very significant._

Mrs. Winds didn't seem to know how to reply to that non-reaction. But honestly, who could? "Um… well, then I'll leave you alone so you can work," she said and got up. "I'm in the study if you need me." And she left the room.

Silence again. Thick, uncomfortable, awkward silence.

Chloe was still acting weird by staring at Chime like some kind of alien creature. I cleared my throat but since she didn't react I had to nudge her into her ribs. That worked. She winced –almost jumped– and blinked a few times, coming back to earth. "Oh, um… well, then… let's start?" she half-said, half-asked.

What was wrong with her?

Finding myself to be the only normal person in this room, I opened my bag and took out the sheets of notes and words of the new song's. "As Chloe told you, I had decided to write a new song for your performance since the old one was… not completely appropriate," I informed Chime though I wasn't quiet sure whether she was listening or not. It was difficult to tell that if she didn't even give the slightest hint of life in that pretty icy sculpture that she was.

I wasn't sure whether I should just put the sheets on the table or give them directly to her. I decided on the second option because it seemed to be more polite.

She lifted her had and took them to my surprise. I noticed her fingers were long and fine and somehow they appeared to be even more breakable than Chloe's tiny slender ones. She didn't say "Thank you" or anything else that usual people would have said in this situation. She just held the sheets in her hands and studied them with a semi-interested expression.

"We can start practicing now if you like," Chloe suggested, her voice almost completely back to her usual sweet, innocent tone – almost. "Derick recorded the melody on a CD and brought it with him."

I took the CD out of my bag for proof.

Chime nodded slowly, still staring down at the sheets.

I went over to the simple hi-fi unit to put in the CD and pushed play. The sound of a piano filled the room. "The whole thing will be played by guitar, bass and drums later," I added. "And you two will start" –I waited, counting the bars– "here."

And Chloe started singing just on cue.

"_I feel cold, empty my way_

_this night is heavy, cold and grey_

_it clings to me_

_won't let me go and be free_

_My hands are tied_

_I can't wake up_

_And the last sunrays are shut out_

_I see me fall_

_but I won't give up_"

Without a break, the melody lead into the chorus.

"'_Cause I love this entire life_

_I love all those moments you fall in_

_I love this entire life_

_I love this entire day_

_Love this entire world_

_I love this entire li-_"

"Stop!"

This time Chloe really jumped and froze to a perfect sculpture. Our heads wiped around, meeting Chime's furious stare.

"Stop it," she said firmly. "Now."

I stopped the CD quickly, being so caught off guard and confused that I even forgot to ask why.

Without the music, it was suddenly terribly silent in the room again. The silence was deafening, pressing down on my ears. It hung thickly in the air like water on a terribly humid summer day. It was like a good punch into your stomach, knocking all air out of your lungs.

I stared at Chime who was taking deep breaths to calm down. Her usually ice-cold blue eyes were suddenly so lively with anger. They looked like a pair of blue flames that could burn everything down that was in their way. –She looked… scary.

Then she got up abruptly, the fire in her eyes had dimmed a little bit. She put –tossed– the sheets of paper on the table with more energy than I'd guessed she would have. "I liked the last song better," she said flatly. Then she left the room.

* * *

_hey there! ^^_

_yeah, I know... I took my time... ^^ but -hey!- better later than later, isn't it? ;)_

_I'll be gone on a **school trip** for the entire next week -Rome, here I come! XDD- so, I guess, you'll have to wait for the next chap again... ^^ sry! - but of course I'll use the time I have on the plane and any other free time that I'll find for writing the next chap! *promise!* ;)_

_I needed so much time for this chap because of the **TWO **songs I had to rewrite here... (which you can find on my "**Night-Galary**" again ^^) - the songs are called **"Yi Qian Ling Yi Ge Yuan Wang" (chin. "One Thousand and First wish" by 4inLove) **and**-**_

_wait! stop! I will not tell you anything about the second song now - that will come later! ;)_

_oooh! and by the way:** Derick's Gift** will be explained in the **next chap**! *promise!* I've go a plan! XD (omg! She's got a **PLAN**? XDD)  
_

_-Mulan-_

_PS. **Chime's Car** is on the "Night-Galary" now, too - I forgot to tell you last time... ^^  
_


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter8 –****Black Hole–**

Both of us jumped when Chime slammed her door shut. The loud "bang" echoed in the entire house.

We didn't move, our eyes were torn open in shock. Chloe's mouth was hanging open, forming a perfect "O", and I guessed so was mine.

Mrs. Winds appeared in the door; her face showed confusion and even a little bit fear. "W-what happened?" she asked, staring up at the second story as if it had just popped out of thin air.

Chloe shook her head, sending her honey-colored hair flying around her face. She found her voice faster than I did which was strange because I was usually the more composed one of the two of us. "Um… Chime didn't like the new song, I guess."

Cross the "I guess" – she had made it more than obvious that she _detested_ it.

Mrs. Winds' eyes grew bigger, if that was even possible. "Really?" she wondered. "And that made her shouting and slamming a door?" She turned towards the stairs again, staring at it as if it could tell her the solution for this mystery. "She has never behaved like this before," she added in a low murmur.

That sentence shook me out of my trance. She was Chime's mother; therefore, she knew her for at least seventeen years and had _never ever_ experienced her daughter angry before? Who –or _what_– the hell was this Chime?

We left soon after since Chime didn't seem to make an appearance again – she had locked herself in her room. Mrs. Winds invited us to come again soon. We agreed.

It was a big fat lie – at least, I wasn't thrilled to pay Chime another visit in the next few weeks –or months– again.

We didn't spoke during the drive home. I parked my car in its usual spot and cut the engine. Chloe didn't make an effort to get out. She kept sitting there like a marble sculpture out of a museum, staring straight forward at the sterile white wall – or probably through it.

I didn't move, either. For the first time in one hundred and thirty one years, I felt tired. I sighed, closed my eyes and leaned back against the leather seat, willing sleep or any other kind of release come – but, of course, nothing came.

"Her mother," Chloe suddenly said. Although it was almost as quiet as a whisper, it sounded extremely loud in the deafening silence of the garage.

I didn't move, waiting for her to continue.

"Chime's mother," she started again, struggling with the right words. "She's desperate."

I frowned, eyes still closed. "Huh?"

"Chime's mother is desperate," she repeated slowly, as if she didn't understand her own words. "Because there's no bond between them."

My eyes flew open and my head spun toward her. "What do you mean, there's no bond? There has to be," I inquired. "They were mother and daughter."

"I know," Chloe agreed, it sounded more like a question than an answer. "But… but when they stood next to each other… there was… nothing."

So that was the reason why Chloe had acted so strangely in the living room before.

"There's a bond from Mrs. Winds, yes," she continued in a stutter. "But it didn't reach Chime. It's as if… as if Chime was surrendered by a wall, a shield."

A shield. Jasper had made the same guess. But a shield against both Chloe's and Jasper's gift? Was that even possible?

"But then…" Chloe said after a while. "When she suddenly shouted 'stop'… I… saw bonds surrounding her, as if the shield had suddenly vanished, burst like a soap bubble."

"What did you see?" I demanded in a whisper when she fell silent again. My voice sounded unusually hoarse.

"I saw… No." –she bit her lip and shook her head as if she wanted to shake off the nasty thoughts like a spider– "that's not possible, it mustn't be possible. It'd be horrible…"

I put my hand on her shoulder and she calmed down a little. "What's so horrible?"

He teeth sank dangerously deep into her lower lip, her thin eyebrows were knit in worry and… fear? "There were just three bonds, Derick," she breathed; her voice was a few octaves too high. "Just _three_."

"Chloe?" Seth's warm voice cut through the tension and then the passenger door flew open. "Chloe! What's wrong, angel? Are you hurt?"

She jumped into his open arms and buried her face into his chest like a little child hiding behind her father after having a bad dream. She looked unbelievingly small and breakable in Seth's giant arms. She was shaking with sobs.

Seth looked at me interrogatively –his gaze wasn't accusing, he was just terribly worried for his beloved angel– and I looked just as helplessly back. He started stroking her head softly and whispered reassurances into her ear. Chloe relaxed visibly in his warm embrace.

When he turned around to carry her upstairs, I jumped out of the car. "Chloe?" I called and Seth stopped, turning around so I could see her. "What's with those bonds?"

"There were just three," she answered in a whisper, turning her face slowly toward me. Her expression was one of pure sadness; the gold in her eyes had melted and looked like tears. "She only has three bonds – and two of these are cut."

"I need you do me a favor," I said straight forward after I was sure that we were out of hearing reach for the rest of our family.

Edward nodded immediately in agreement. "I have seen it in Chloe's thoughts. She was completely jazzed."

I sighed. "That sight must have awakened some really unpleasant memories in her."

I had Chloe explain her gift to me once, so I knew what cut bonds meant. Relationships never disappear, even if you had long forgotten the other part of it. However, relationships could be cut and that only happened when the other halt didn't exist any longer.

"However, that shield-theory is very interesting," Edward changed the subject, leaning against a tree. "I've never seen someone blocking two so very different gifts as Chloe's and Jasper's are. And then again, she's still a human."

Yes, she was _a_ human – not _human_.

Edward raised an eyebrow in amusement at that thought of mine. "Is it that bad?"

"You have no idea," I laughed without humor and let this afternoon's happenings revue passé in my head, showing him Chime's royal outburst.

His eyes widened in amazement. "Wow, this I call a reaction."

"Yes, it is." I nodded, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Maybe the song reminded her of something?" he guessed, frowning in concentration.

"Yeah, that would be a logical answer for this," I agreed thoughtfully. "But why? I mean – yes, I wrote the song while thinking of her strange behavior and all, but how could it tick her off that easily and extremely?"

"Because you are a really talented composer?" he suggested, smiling. The smile was not mocking but purely honest.

I rolled my eyes, hiding my embarrassment. "Yeah, sure."

"Have you tried your own gift on her already?" he asked, being serious again.

That question took me off guard. Honestly, I hadn't even considered the thought of trying my gift on her. "Um… no."

He laughed, reading my thoughts. "Well, why don't you try it tomorrow? We could ask Alice, too."

I nodded, thinking about his idea. The whole thing became more and more like a scientific experiment. "Yes, why not? But I think we should ask Alice if both our gifts don't work, either. Sort of as the final test."

"Okay."

I arrived at school the next morning determined and uncommonly thrilled. My excitement got a damper on very quickly though because I had no idea where Chime was. We couldn't find her although Edward concentrated for whole two minutes –which was very long for him– on listening to all the thoughts that were at school. It was frustrating.

We decided to continue during lunch break and Edward promised to keep looking out for her and so did I. But we didn't find anything – not the tiniest sign of her presence.

Finally, the morning classes ended and every student from Forks High strolled into the cafeteria. As soon as I left Spanish, I started looking around again but didn't find anything. I scanned through the crowd, looking for a pale girl with natural black hair, but there was none. It was the same in the cafeteria. It seemed that everyone was here, except for her.

"She isn't here," Edward stated, frowning in irritation. He seemed to think the same as I did. –Who could she not be in the cafeteria? She still was human enough to need food, right?

"Maybe she went home," he guessed.

I shook my head. "Not likely. She has History with me in about twenty minutes. Why would she go home now?"

But she really was nowhere to be found. Was she possibly sick and had stayed at home for today?

Our "brothers" and "sisters" were already sitting at our table. Bella turned around seeing us still standing at the entrance and lifted an eyebrow interrogatively. Edward threw her an apologetic smile next to me. He was just about to walk towards her when an idea suddenly came to me and I put my hand on his shoulder, stopping him. He understood immediately –thanks to his mind reader abilities– and followed me toward the opposite direction out of the cafeteria towards the parking lot.

I should be proofed right. She was sitting at that crooked tree again, singing a quiet melancholic song.

"_Tell me that this place here is quiet and safe_

_and all the good things gonna stay_

_and that the promise you give me today_

_tomorrow will remain the same_"

And again I found myself completely absorbed in her clear, sweet voice. From the corner of my eyes, I noticed Edward staring at her as if she was some kind of alien creature out of space. There was surprise and awe in his face, but also something else, something dark and sad…

"_This world is fast_

_and forgot to pause and see everything_

'_cause temptations are impatient and won't wait_

_But promise me the day I'm back again_

_all will be like it had been_"

The words came out of her mouth like water floating downhill. The single notes formed effortlessly into a wonderful melody. Like the last song, she had sung here, this one wasn't cheerful either and held a strange edge of regret.

"_Give me a tiny little bit of light_

_in a sad world where the stars do not shine_

_Give me in these darkest times… something that's right_"

The tempo wasn't fast but there was a steady beat throughout the entire song. It made one feel restless, hectic – urging you to go on and on, faster and faster, louder and louder.

"_Just give me something that will stop me cry_

_and pretend for me that the sky is bright_

_Save me from these rushing times_

_Tell me that everything will be fine_"

The song broke in me, taking control over my limbs, my brain, my heart. The steady beat echoed like a heartbeat in m ears. It was wonderful, this feeling of being alive.

"_Give me something – anything that's right_"

She paused. My eyes flew open –I couldn't quiet remember when I had closed them– and I saw her sitting under that tree like she had done a few days ago. Eyes closed, knees pulled up to her chin and arms wrapped around her legs.

Technically it was impossible to sing in that position –her legs were pressing against her diaphragm and would make breathing harder–, but she could. She really was gifted.

Edward was still staring; looking concentrated and hugely interested – no frustration.

So he could read her mind. It relieved me somehow. She wasn't that abnormal after all.

"_Even if the world is sick and weird_

_this moment will stay here_

_forever near_"

The bridge was loud, high, powerful. It awoke a strange feeling of longing in my silent heart, which I had never felt before. It made me feel _human_ again.

"_Give me a tiny little bit of light_

_in a sad world where the stars do not shine_

_Give me in these darkest times… something that's right_"

Suddenly her voice fell to a quiet whisper. But it didn't sound calm, rather mysterious.

"_Just give me something that will stop me cry_

_and pretend for me that the sky is bright_

_Save me from these rushing times_

_Tell me that everything will be fine_

_Give me something – anything that's right_"

That last line had just been a breath. Like a light breeze in summer – cooling you a little bit down but not chasing the heat entirely away, making you demand for more, earn for more.

I sighed, a dreamy smile plastered on my face.

Chime was a beautiful girl in a very, _very_ strange way.

I knew I should stay quiet but I was so dazzled by her "performance" that I couldn't help myself and applauded.

Her eyes snapped open, staring at me in silent accusation. Well, I thought that it was accusation but I couldn't be sure with her as always. She didn't seem to be pleased to see us –or was it only me?– at least.

"Hey, Chime. That was great again," I said honestly, still floating on some kind of high after hearing her angelic voice.

She pushed me back to earth a little bit by nor reacting. And so didn't Edward.

He stood next to me, frozen to a sculpture as Chloe had done yesterday. His eyes were torn open in shock and his brows were knit in frustration.

That was not a good sign.

"Oh, I forgot, you probably still don't know each other now, right?" I said, trying to erase the tension. "Chime, this is my brother Edward. Edward, this is Chime Winds, she is in the school choir with Chloe."

Edward managed to come back to normal after I had bought him these few seconds to calm down. The startled expression disappeared from one blink to the next and was displaced by a gentle smile. It didn't reach his eyes though. "It's nice to meet you, Chime."

She didn't reply. She just got up, shouldered her bag and walked pass us towards the cafeteria as if we were air – less than air.

My eyes narrowed in annoyance, shooting daggers at her back. Her long raven-black hair swayed with each step she took. "Arrogant bird," I grumbled under my breath.

Edward didn't react.

I turned toward him, still annoyed. "What? Are you giving me the cold shoulder now, too?"

"They just vanished," he eventually said in a quiet, thoughtful tone. It sounded very similar to Chloe from yesterday and Jasper from the day before yesterday. It was the tone that said, "I can't believe that I'm saying this".

I swallowed. Definitely not a good sign.

"They were there," he continued. "I heard them. They were as loud and clear as her singing. But-"

"But what?" I demanded, fearing that I might already know what was going to come next.

He didn't answer for a very long time. Not until then when the bell rang and Bella came walking towards him to go to their next class he finally spoke. "But then she stopped singing and with that her thoughts went silent."

"In red."

"What?"

"The new leather purse by Chanel. I want it in red."

I sighed. I should have known that Alice would want reward for doing me a favor. It was almost embarrassing that I hadn't noticed her ridiculously strong desire for that piece of leather earlier. I had been so absorbed with Chime and her inhuman behavior that I had missed seeing the pulsing light of a wish that Alice was raying.

"Fine," I agreed reluctantly. It wasn't because she was demanding something that cost a fortune. It was the fact that she was demanding a simple _purse_ that cost a fortune. It was just a piece of fabric for crying out loud. I would never be able to understand that girl.

Alice's lips stretched into a huge satisfied grin, showing a row of pearl-white teeth. "I love you, Derick."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Sure."

I took off for History while Alice went into the opposite direction for Spanish. She would be doing her part of the "experiment" during this period. She seemed confident. Well, she knew her job.

I entered the classroom and again I needed a few seconds to detect her although I already knew were her seat was. She was reading the same book she had yesterday – I recognized it at its cover. It showed a dark, dangerous looking rainforest. –Inscrutable.

How fitting…

I sat down and Ms. Fairyman started classes. I felt a tiny twitch of disappointment when Chime didn't look my way like she had done yesterday, but just shut her book and turned her attention towards the board.

That weird girl was making me feel weird, too. –_Fabulous_.

I tried to pay attention to the lesson but failed miserably. Throughout the entire hour, my mind was working at high-speed, wondering what Alice was seeing at this very moment. I tried to detect her with my special gif but all I could see was a cherry red leather purse. It was driving me insane.

My gift was very strange. It didn't work as easily as the ones my "siblings" had did. It didn't work _directly_. I didn't hear or show thoughts and neither did I see relationships or foresee the future. I felt –like Jasper did–, but then again I saw, too, like Chloe.

It was comparable to light. The stronger a light shined, the warmer it was so you could tell how light it was even with closed eyes. And when the light was strong enough I could tell what its source was.

It sounded difficult but that was how my gift worked – how _wishes_ worked.

Yes, I sensed wishes, but only strong ones. Like the lights again, the stronger a light shined the easier it was for a blind to find it. After more than a century of practice, I could feel small wishes now, too. But I needed more concentration of course.

Finding Alice was ridiculously easy though, and again I wondered how a simple piece of fabric could make that girl so happy.

Ignoring Alice –who was currently raying the greatest amount of light on the entire school ground– I focused on the people in this room. It was the usual thing. Most of the students wished time would past faster so they could go home.

Laura Crowley, who was staring out of the window and twisting her fake red hair around her fingers, was having very indecent dreams about Mike Newton Junior, which made me suppress the urge to vomit and forced me to move on to the next person.

Ms. Fairyman –although telling the class with great enthusiasm about the consequences of the Cold War– wished to finally get home, too. Taking a closer "look", I found out that a "very fascinating" book about necromancy was waiting for her on her nightstand. I smiled inwardly. Well, it was better than a little purse, I guessed.

I moved on toward the rows in the back – toward Chime. On my way, I "saw" a list of other mundane wishes. Go home and play the new videogame with friends. A new car for birthday. Going to a club tonight. Vacation in Rome. Etcetera, etcetera.

All of those wishes were just as interesting as a rock falling on my head the moment I stepped out of the building (which would be rather annoying than painful in my case).

And then I reached Chime at last.

And everything went cold.

No lights.

Darkness.

Nothing.

_Impossible!_

I tried harder, blocking everything else around me out of my head and completely concentrating on the girl sitting in the last row at the window.

There had to be something. She might be weird but she was still a living being. She _had_ to have wishes. And I must be able to see those wishes. I could see anyone's wishes. Even Bella couldn't block me since my gift didn't work with one's mind but with your heart. And no one could block his own heart.

But Chime proved me wrong.

She didn't ray any lights, not even the tiniest scintilla!

It was cold around her, so ice-cold that touching it felt like burning. No light, no warmth. Darker than the deepest night and colder than the coldest winter night at Antarctica.

A black hole – she was a black hole…

"Mr. Wing? Derick!"

My eyes snapped open with a loud gasp. I hadn't noticed that I had closed them, neither did I notice that I had held my breath.

"Derick, are you alright?" Ms. Fairyman asked, standing directly in front of me and looking at me with huge concern. "You look terribly pale."

"No, I'm fine, Ms. Fairyman," I chocked out as composed as possible.

She didn't believe me. For the first time in my entire vampire existence someone didn't bought my lie. "You should go out and take some fresh air," she ordered.

I nodded, too exhausted to argue. I gathered my books and got up. I didn't look back when I left the room. I knew that the entire class was staring at me. But most of all I felt a pair of piercing blue eyes on my back, in my back, like knives stabbing through my lungs, my heart…

I stumbled towards the nearest tree and in the safety of the darkness, I slid along the tree trunk down to the ground. I massaged my temples with m hands. They were shaking, my entire body was shaking. I felt so cold, as if I had just taken a bath in liquid nitrogen.

It took me a while to notice that it was raining. The cool raindrops were unusually warm against my skin.

I had never been like this before, not for one hundred thirty one years at least.

And then I remembered Chloe's eyes, torn wide open in panic and Edward's quiet shaking voice.

"_They just vanished."_

A sudden thud next to me startled me from my trance. I winced –no, _jumped_–, literally jumped. Me, a vampire!

I turned around and found Alice wrapped into a ball at my left. I couldn't see her face since it was buried in her knees but it was obvious that she had no good news for me.

"Nothing," she finally whispered after a long moment of tense silence.

I swallowed and my hands started to shake again.

"I couldn't see anything," she whimpered, her face still buried in her knees. She started to rock slowly forth and back. "It was just dark, black, empty… like a hole… a black hole."

* * *

_Hey! Applause please! I finally managed to show what **Derick's gift** is! XDD *party* -it was really difficult! Chloe's gift was so much easier to explain... *sigh* ^^  
_

_Seems that **Rome **was very inspiring ^^ -you really have to go and see for yourselves one day, too! ;)_

_the song Chime sings in this Chap is by "**Silbermond**" (again ^^) and is called: "**Irgendwas bleibt**" = "Something stays" and you can find it (as always) on my "**Night-Galary**"_

_pew... this chap was loooong! I wrote SEVEN pages in "Word" (oh, well... just 6,5... ^^) -but it still is loooooong for me! XDD_

_and now we're finally getting to the** good stuff**! Muhahaha! *rubbing hands* this is gonna be **FUN**! XDD *gloating*_

_don't worry - I haven't lost my mind... yet! XDD  
_

_-Mulan-_

_PS. why did none of you review the last chap? *pout* -whatever, just **don't forget to review** this time! ;)  
_


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter9 –****Decision–**

Jasper skipped his next class and took Alice home. I went with them. We ran, leaving the cars behind for the others.

As soon as we had arrived at home, Jasper carried Alice upstairs and vanished into their room. Esme looked at me interrogatively. Worry was carved into her face.

I shook my head, still too exhausted after what had just happened and hid into my room. I felt bad for leaving Esme alone downstairs, worried, scared. But I couldn't explain anything now, I couldn't speak at all. Using my gift on Chime had left me extremely exhausted, as exhausted as I had never been before.

_Chime_. That name made me shudder. I was scared of a human, a little powerless human. What was _wrong_ with me?

I turned the hi-fi system on and collapsed on the divan. Piano tunes filled the room. "_Pathitique_" was a wonderful song in a torturous way. Dark, heavy notes joined in beautiful cacophony, like a tearful voice, breaking away at the end of the sentence. Then suddenly fast, running, falling, thousand thoughts and screams exploding in your head. It was a fight but then again it wasn't because you already knew the outcome.

It was bad, the outcome.

My breath accelerated, I was gasping for air like someone drowning. I pressed my eyes shut and shook my head to the beat of the music. No, not shaking –I was past that–; I was tossing.

_Crescendo _and_ decrescendo _and then growing again and falling… It was battle, a lost battle.

Before the final dooming accords came I jumped to the hi-fi system and pressed the off-button.

The sudden silence pressed on my ears and made my panting-sounds appear even louder like I was standing in a giant theatre with great acoustics and a freaking megaphone at my lips.

I felt the terrible strong urge to take the CD out and crush it to thousand little pieces but I managed to suppress it. I would have regretted it afterwards. It wasn't _Beethoven_ who got me so irritated after all.

There was a knock at the door.

I sighed. "Come in."

The door swung open slowly, revealing a hugely concerned looking Esme. "May I come in?" she asked again like a little child asking her mother for permission to go to the playground.

I forced a smile on my face but according to her expression I failed terribly. "Sure."

She stepped in and closed the door just as carefully as she had opened it. She was watching me. "Do you want to tell me what is bothering you, Derick?"

I sighed, leaning against the desk, needing its support to stand. "No… yes… I don't know." I pressed my palm against my forehead in frustration. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

And then I told her, told her everything that had happened this week. It was absolutely crazy how a person could turn your life upside-down within four days. I told her about Chime, about the choir, about our little experiment, I even told her about Ms. Fairyman which reminded me on the stupid tarot-card she had given me. This detail I kept to myself though, don't ask me why, I have no idea.

With each single word I said I felt lighter but also guiltier, because a weird feeling told me that I should keep Chime a secret although she wasn't a secret at all. When I'd finished I felt weirdly calm and empty. Like a balloon which had lost all its air during a turbulent flight

Esme didn't say anything during the entire time. She only nodded now and then to show me that she was still listening. She also didn't say anything after I had finished. She just watched me for a few minutes with that loving gaze that only mothers had and no one could entirely read.

"So," she finally replied. Why was she looking embarrassed? "You… um… don't like that girl. Is that correct?"

I laughed, shaking my head. "No, definitely not. Actually, _don't like _is a great understatement, I guess." That was the one thing I was two hundred-percents sure about.

She nodded. It looked kind of defeated and disappointed.

Wait! Was she seriously hoping for me and Chime…

"Then, it's better for you to avoid her, I guess," she said, interrupting my thoughts. She sounded unsure, showing the fact that she was really uncomfortable with the idea of two people disliking each other. She was Esme after all. Her passion was to bring people together, not to separate them.

But I kind of liked that idea. "Really?"

She nodded, slowly, hesitantly. "Well, since you don't like each other, I guess that would be… the best solution." –she grimaced slightly at the last words– "But only if you are with that, of course."

I smiled. Yes, that was very fine with me.

"Of course you still have to work with her for the choir," she reminded me.

My face fell.

She smiled in amusement. "You promised Ms. Cheney, remember?"

I sighed. "Sure." –Note to me: never ever promise anything to anyone before thoroughly checking who else was also involved in the deal.

Then I remembered something else. "But what about… her strange immunity against our gifts?"

"It is amazing, sure," she admitted. "Maybe she has some kind of special gift like Bella who already was a great shield before her transformation. But…" she paused, looking for the right words. "well, since you are planning to avoid her then…"

"That is not our problem, either," I finished the sentence for her. I knew Esme well enough to know that she would never be able to say something so rude and cold. It usually wasn't my style either unless it was necessary. And now it was very necessary.

Chime Winds was not my problem. And I would be showing that.

Sunday rolled nearer and with it the school performance. We –the band and the choir– practiced for hours every evening after school. Ms. Cheney had become a little rough and impatient because of all the stress in the mean time. She even screamed once when a few boys just couldn't bring themselves to concentrate on the work on hand.

The whole thing was becoming more and more annoying.

I ignored Chime. It was surprisingly easy. It seemed that you had to concentrate on her to even register her existence. Her shield must be really strong if that was it what she was.

However, there was still one thing that I had to do before I could forget her completely.

"Ah, you finished the duet," Ms. Cheney said happily, taking the music sheets out of my hands. She thumbed through the pages, stopping here and there to nod approvingly. "Brilliant," she praised in the end. "Just, brilliant! Thank you, Derick."

I tried hard to keep out the smugness from the smile. "Anytime, Ms. Cheney," I responded. "Could you give Chime a copy, please? I hadn't found the time to do so myself."

She nodded. "Of course. Does she already know about the song?"

I smiled and this time I couldn't hold back the smugness. "Sure."

I was so smug and confident that I forgot who I was fouling around with. Very bad mistake.

I was sitting at the piano; practice hadn't started yet because Ms. Cheney was late. The poor woman had been hardly herself in the last few days because of the performance which was Sunday and that was tomorrow.

I was staring down at the keys, counting the many scratches on the old black and white keys out of total boredom when an ugly sound interrupted my "work".

I looked up, meeting Chime who was standing next to me, tow fingers of hers were pushing down a "B" and the "C" next to it at the same time. –_Dissonance_.

I grimaced. "Nice."

She didn't reply, as always. But then again her silence wasn't her usual silence. There was something angry behind it, something furious and dangerous. Her eyes were two blue flames now, burning everything down that crossed their path.

I gulped down the sarcastic comments I wanted to make and stared up at her. Although it was terribly loud in the gym –kids were chatting and laughing, instruments were tested and tuned–, I didn't hear anything. It was like she had engulfed me with her silence, pulled me into the unknown depths of her darkness.

"I'm not coming tomorrow," she finally said, her voice dangerously calm.

"Why?" I asked in a hoarse voice. It was more reflex than curiosity.

"You know why." Her eyes narrowed.

I gulped. My mouth suddenly felt very dry but not because of thirst. "You can't just leave. Ms. Cheney-"

"I will," she cut me off mid-sentence. Her voice was still scarily calm but nonetheless as sharp as a knife. "if you insist on me singing that song." She spat the last word like a curse.

That awoke the vain artist in me. "What's your problem? It's a good song."

She ignored my comment, like always. "I am not singing tomorrow," she said sternly, then she turned on her heels and left the gym.

_I feel cold, empty my way_

_T__his night is heavy, cold and grey_

_It clings to me_

_W__on't let me go and be free_

_My hands are tied_

_I can't wake up_

_And the last sunrays are shut out_

_I see me fall_

_B__ut I won't give up_

'_Cause I love this entire life_

_I love all those moments you fall in_

_I love this entire life_

_I love this entire day_

_Love this entire world_

_I love this entire life_

_I love all those moments you fall in_

_I love this entire life_

_I love this entire day_

_Love this entire world_

_Take my heart_

_Take my strength_

_Take all my hope_

_And all the pain_

_From my hands_

_And never give them back again_

_What is that_

_Where should I go_

_Where are the heroes I dreamt of_

_And if we go_

_I don't know which way to chose_

'_Cause I love this entire life_

_I love all those moments you fall in_

_I love this entire life_

_I love this entire day_

_Love this entire world_

_I love this entire life_

_I love all those moments you fall in_

_I love this entire life_

_I love this entire day_

_Love this entire world_

_Don't know where to head, even if I can_

_Even if I can…_

_But I love this entire life_

_I love all those moments you fall in_

_I love this entire life_

_I love this entire day_

_Love this entire world_

_I love this entire life_

_I love all those moments you fall in_

_I love this entire life_

_I love this entire day_

_Love this entire world_

We did not notice her absence until it was time for the final duet. And the duet became a solo. Chloe sang alone. Chime didn't come.

* * *

_woa! **this feels SOOOO good!** -uploading a new chapter! *party* XDD_

_I'm soooo **sorry **for making you all wait - you all have probably already forgotten me! XD_

_I can't explain why... but somehow I couldn't come up with new ideas to continue this story... T.T I could blame it all on school and life but I'm a honest person: I was just too **LAZY **to do anything at all! XDD_

_well, now I finally reached the **next level** in this story... *sigh* but there's still soooo much to do! ._

_you can help: by writing** LOTS of reviews**! ;) (in order to keep me motivated XD) and I promise the next chap won't take this long ^^  
_

_-Mulan-_

_PS. the song is by **Juli **and is called "**Dieses Leben**" (="This Life") - you can find the orinigal lyrics as always on my **Night-Galary** ^^_

_PPS. I **changed the Night-Galary** a little bit in order to bring some order into it ;) I guess that you can say I "tidied up" ^^ - tell me if you like it!  
_


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter10 –Destiny–**

Chime never apologized for not appearing at the performance and no one ever asked her about it either – not even Ms. Cheney. Chloe –who was a solid member of the choir now– told me that although Chime still came to regular practice on Friday evenings, not one single person had thrown her a glance of accusation or anger towards her direction. It seemed that everyone had simply forgotten the whole drama already, or perhaps they had never known that there had been one.

Two weeks had passed since then and life had went back to normal. Luckily, ignoring Chime appeared to be the easiest task ever. I never stumbled across her in the school corridors, never met her icy blue eyes in the cafeteria, never saw her raven black hair during history, never heard her crystal clear voice at the parking-lot…

Never since the school performance – never since she had said that she wouldn't be coming.

I shrugged it all off. She was none of my business, so who cared? –I didn't for sure.

It was Saturday and Esme had sent us off to go grocery shopping. "Us" – these were Chloe, Seth and me. Why they needed _me_ to come along was a mystery to me but since I had nothing else to do I didn't complain.

A decision I always regretted later when we were standing in the store.

"Aw, Chloe, please, no zucchinis," Seth whined, taking the dark green vegetables out of the cart and looked at them with disgust.

"But you need some vitamins," Chloe insisted, putting the zucchinis back into the cart and adding five more of them in the process.

"But, angel, they taste _awful_," he complained, giving her his puppy-eyes.

Chloe made the wrong move, as always, by looking directly into his face. You could literally watch her expression soften, her eyes melting with love. It was clear that the zucchini-thing was already long forgotten by the two of them. They drew closer to each other, he bending down and she getting on her tiptoes. Their lips were just a second apart from each other…

I cleared my throat. "Guys. I hate killing the mood but we're still out in public."

They snapped apart. Chloe was biting her lip and looking down at her feet in embarrassment while Seth stared up at the sterile neon light on the ceiling, blushing for both of them.

I could almost hear Esme musing "_Aw, look! Aren't they adorable?_". I fought back the laughter that was tickling my chest. Instead I changed the subject by asking Chloe what was next on the shopping list.

"Um… cereal," she answered after throwing a quick glance on the list in her hands. She walked ahead towards the right direction, Seth trotted close behind her like a giant protective shadow. I smiled and followed them with the cart.

Yeah, they were adorable indeed.

Chloe and Seth were debating on which cereal to buy –she was argued for the healthy _Natural Harvest Cereal_ while he was pleading for the _Children Chocolate Chips_– when a familiar voice called. "Chime, have you finished now?"

Oh, well, the voice wasn't that familiar but the name it said unfortunately was. I froze.

"Oh, aren't these your friends?" Mrs. Winds noticed, walking towards us with a happy smile on her lips.

Chime turned (reluctantly?) toward us and her ice-blue eyes hit me for the first time in the last two weeks. She was just standing a few feet away from us and according to the box of cereals in her hands she had already been standing there for a while without anyone of us –neither vampire nor "werewolf"– noticing her.

Hell, that girl was creepier than _Dracula_.

"Hello, Mrs. Winds," Chloe greeted them like the good girl she was. "Hi, Chime."

Chime didn't reply, it was kind of a miracle that she at least blinked.

"It's nice to see you. Chloe and Derick, correct?" Mrs. Winds asked.

Chloe nodded, smiling. "And this is Seth, my boyfriend."

"Wow," Mrs. Winds gaped, blinking up at Seth. "You're pretty tall young man."

He grinned proudly from one ear to the other. "Thanks, Ma'am."

I coughed back the laughter that was tickling me again. That seemed to pull Mrs. Winds out of her daze. She blinked. "Oh, um… we need to go home now. Chime's father is probably home by now."

I paused. That sounded like her husband usually was not at home at weekends.

"It would be _so_ nice if you came over for some tea again," she told us, smiling brightly. "Chime would love that too, right?" She turned to her daughter who ignored her, back to studying the contents of the cereal again.

Mrs. Winds' shoulders fell the tiniest bit and a sad –almost desperate– gleam appeared in her dark brown eyes.

"Sure, promise," Chloe responded eagerly, sensing the change of mood. "I'll call Chime before we come. I have her number since we're both in the choir."

My head spun around towards Chloe and I frowned in confusion. –She didn't tell me that.

_She didn't have to either, did she? I wasn't her __dad after all…_

Mrs. Winds smiled, though not as happily as before. "That sounds wonderful. Don't be shy then. You're always welcome." Then she went away, Chime followed her like a shadow – like a dark, almost dangerous shadow.

When they had vanished around the next corner Seth let out a long heavy breath. "Woa, is it just me is that girl really kinda creepy?"

"_Creepy_" didn't even start to describe it…

"She's just different," Chloe defended her in a small voice.

I had already opened my mouth to make a sarcastic comment –something like "_sounds like you're real great friends_"– but she had already gone on to the next point on the shopping list.

We finally leaved the grocery store an hour –and uncountable arguments and almost-kisses between Chloe and Seth– later. I helped them carrying all the things into the kitchen but immediately fled when Seth hauled Chloe up on the counter and planted his lips on hers. I went upstairs, no idea what to do there since I had already finished all my homework yesterday out of pure boredom. I considered sitting at my keyboard and playing or even composing something but the thought didn't hold the same temptation as usual. I hadn't touched an instrument since the performance…

"Derick?" Bella called me when she saw me standing clueless at the foot of the stairs to the attic. "Are you busy now?"

I was standing motionlessly in the hallway like a total fool. –How busy could I possibly be?

"No, I'm not busy," I shrugged. "Why'd you ask?"

She bit on her lip, showing her nervousness. "I was just wondering if… you'd like to go hunting with me."

I raised an eyebrow interrogatively. Whatever it was she wanted me to do, it was definitely not go hunting with her. If it had just been that she wouldn't be fidgeting around here. I took a closer look at her but couldn't make out anything clearly. Her shield was blocking me as always. But it seemed to be important though…

"Sure," I agreed, smiled and turned towards the steps which led downstairs. "Shall we?"

She nodded, smiling in relief and gratitude.

Bella took me to a florist where she bought a bouquet of white Daisies, not small but not extremely big either. Then we drove on towards the city limit. When the old church came into view, I knew where was heading to. I didn't say anything though. My mouth felt suddenly very dry. She parked the car on the little parking-lot in front of the church, we got out. Bella held the bouquet carefully as if they were made out of glass.

I had never like graveyards – who liked them at all? The gravestones were always so cold, the bed were too clean, like a house in that no one lived. Silent, lifeless.

Bella seemed to know exactly where to go and soon we stopped at a simple marble gravestone, bordered by some small Heartseas. It was nothing big or fancy but nonetheless beautiful in its simple, reserved way.

Bella kneeled down and put the bouquet right under the engraving in the marble. An endless second of silent ticked by, then Bella began to speak. "Hi, Charlie." –she giggled– "Sorry, but I guess that I'll never learn to call you _Dad_. Well, you have been and always will be _Charlie_ to me. Phil was my dad too –legally seen–, but you'll always be my one and only _Charlie_, forever… And seriously, would you react if I suddenly called you _Dad_?"

I gulped. This was awkward. I didn't know Bella's father. In our family, I was the only one who had never met him – even Chloe had gone fishing with him once. I only knew what the others had told me. Charlie Swan had been the chief of police in Forks. Had had been divorced from Bella's mother Renee who had remarried later. He, himself, never married again. He had known that his daughter and grand-daughter were different from ordinary people but never asked for details that could have put him and the Cullens into danger. The gravestone said that he had died fifty years ago at the age of eighty-two.

Bella talked some more with her dad while I stood behind her, thinking about my own parents.

I had been born 1932 in Detroit as the second son of a poor working class family. My father and my older brother both worked in a big factory from morning until nightfall in order to feed our family and to pay for my school fees. Unlike my brother I was sent to high school and was supposed to go to college someday. The three of them –my parents and my brother– hoped that I would create a better life for all of us later. I had always believed that my older brother had been jealous but I had never known for sure. If he had been jealous he had never showed.

It all worked pretty well. We were poor, yes, but we had each other and were happy that way. Then World War II broke out. Dad and brother went to Europe to the battle field. They never returned, none of them. Mom had begun to work in a armory. Every night she had come home, paler and the rings under her eyes darker than they had been the previous day. I wanted to help, told her that I would work and gain money for us so she wouldn't need to do all those slave labor. She refused, wouldn't allow me to quit school. She told me that dad and brother would be back soon, that everything would be fine again. She said that everyday, like a mantra, a magic formula that would work if you just said the words often enough. And I believed her, because I _wanted_ to believe her.

Then, on a late snowy winter day –a week before my birthday– I waited with dinner for her at home like always. She didn't come home that night. The next morning a police officer had appeared in our doorway. Mom had died in a car accident on her way home. In her hands, they had found a silver pocket watch – my birthday present. I sold it and spent all the money I had saved on a proper grave for her. I knew that she would never have wanted me to do that but I felt like I needed to do this. I had no grave to go to be with my father and beloved brother – I wanted a place to visit my mother at least.

The night after the funeral I got myself drunk in some random pub –it had been unbelievably crowed in there although it was still war– and wandered aimlessly in the dark streets. I hadn't wanted to go home since it hadn't been home anymore. It had just been a tiny room with two beds squeezed into it which the four of us had shared and a little table that had both served as a dining table and my working desk. It had never been much and now it was even less. It was empty.

I couldn't remember fear when I had suddenly been pushed against a wall and sharp fangs sunk into my neck. Without my family my life had been over anyway. The only wish I had was that it would be over fast. I never found out, who that vampire had been, neither did I know why he hadn't killed me. The next thing I remember was me waking up to pain burning in my veins.

Bella got up. I hadn't noticed her stop speaking – I had been lost in my own memories. We went back to the car in silence. Bella didn't start the engine when we got in. A long moment of thoughtful silence passed before Bella finally spoke. "I'm sorry for dragging you along, Derick."

"It's okay," I assured her. Then I chuckled and added, "Just warn me the next time."

She laughed. "I'll keep that in mind."

We went silent again. Bella stared straight forward at the church with an unreadable expression.

"Today is his birthday," she eventually said. "I spent only ten times of his birthdays with him. First I lived with my mom in Phoenix and just visited him during my summer vacations. His birthday is in autumn. Then I lived two years with him and left for college with the Cullens. I visited him once a year, eight times on his birthday. Ten times in total. He was my dad and I only spent ten of the fifty-nine birthdays I could have spent with him."

I didn't reply, just listened because I could see that this was the only wish she had now even without using my gift.

She took a deep calming breath. "Sorry, Derick. I shouldn't incriminate you with my regrets," she apologized again. "I guess, I just overreacted. I tried very hard to act normal in front of Edward the last few weeks. He always gets so depressed when I am – more than I am." She smiled.

I smiled back. "It's fine. I can understand you." –I looked down at my hands– "I couldn't celebrate my brother's twenty-forth birthday with him either… I never even found out whether he had gotten the chance to outlive his own birthday at all…"

Bella didn't say anything about that. She just put her hand on my shaking ones and gave me a reassuring look, telling me that she was here, that she would always be here for me, just like anyone else of our family. I had lost my family and then found a new one that was just as wonderful as my original one.

I smiled back at her gratefully. –Fate really did have its twisted ways.

Sometimes I believed that destiny was an old hag –a sadistic witch with a crazy sense of humor– who had nothing better to do than throwing the most different ingredients into a giant boiling pot, completely thoughtlessly, not thinking the least bit about the consequences, mixed everything together and looked what kind of ridiculousness would come on.

And that was exactly what I thought when Ms. Fairyman announced that we would be having a partner-work-project in history on Monday. As always she used her beloved tarot-cards to divide the students into groups of two people. I paused when I saw that there was no card on my desk.

"You will use the card I gave you the last time," she explained, noticing the confusion on my face.

I had completely forgotten the stupid card. I open my history book, finding it exactly where I had randomly tossed it the day she had given it to me. The page said _"Napoleon's fight at Waterloo"_ – how ironic. I took the slender card into my hands, flipping it in my fingers around and around.

_Melody__ of Secrets_ – rubbish.

I heard the students setting into motion, looking for their partner. I sighed, annoyed to the top. It couldn't be helped, I guessed. Reluctantly, I opened my book at the right page and massaged my forehead with my hand, eyes pressed shut, and waited for the sound of the chair next to me been pulled back.

When I finally opened my eyes I was confronted with a curtain of raven black hair and the matching pair of ice-blue eyes behind it.

Destiny sucked.

* * *

_Hey, there, it's me -after a veeery~ long time- again! ;)_

_I was in **Spain **for two weeks *dreamin'* it was sooooooooooooooo~~~ awesome! :D and obviously very **inspiring**! ;)_

_The "funny" thing is that a thief broke into our house there in Spain that night after I'd finished this chap. at the very same morning! -Yeah, **"DESTINY SUCKED"** XDDD_

_sth. else: my BFF said I'd be sooo~ "cruel" after reading Derick's story... well, she's kinda right - it is really~ sad *shame on me! .* but then again, remember what **Rosalie said in "Eclipse"**: "If we had had happy endings, we'd all be under grave stones now." -and she's right here, isn't she? ^^_

_as always: don't forget to **review**! ;)  
_

_-Mulan-_

_PS. we finally got to finish the next chap of "**Olympic Games in Olympic Mountains**"! *party* XDDD -go check it out! ;)  
_


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter11 –Teamwork–**

_Someone up there –God, Ala, Buddha, _whoever_– must really hate me._

After all the teams were built, Ms. Fairyman explained the last details to us before dismissing the class.

Each team got a month of preparation time for making a period in which the team explained its subject to the rest of the class. The contents of these presentations would be taking sixty percent of the next class test.

My subject was "The Beginning of the twenty-first century – The beginning of terrorism?" and my partner was a certain creepy girl with long black hair and ice-blue eyes.

_Heaven forbids._

"I can't see," Alice said when I joined her and Nessie during the running-in in gym. "It's not like it's with the wolves or Nessie. I just see blackness when they are involved; it's a feeling of insecurity. But with that girl it's just like… like she was _air_, like didn't exist." She frowned in irritation.

Nessie suddenly walked around Alice so she was running next to me. She lifted her hand and looked at me interrogatively. I nodded curiously. Then her hand touched my arm.

_It had been in English last week._ I heard Nessie's sweet voice speaking in my head and with her words the gym disappeared in front of my eyes, displaced by Mrs. Evan's classroom. Since she was showing me a memory of hers, I saw everything from her point of view. And of course I could hear the thoughts she had had at that time.

_So boring. _Sigh. _I want to go home to Jake. I wonder what he's doing now. Probably tuning his _Harly_ again. Or he's down in La Push. He said something about paying Quil a visit a few days ago. But he also promised me to take me along and show me First Beach. Fortunately, they've changed the treaty a bit. Grandpa Carlisle told me that- _Sharp intake of breath. _Oh my! I had been touching her all the time without me noticing! How could that happen? Did she hear me calling Carlisle "Grandpa"? Or anything about the treaty? … Uh-oh. Mom will scold me… _Turning to the left, I saw Chime sitting at the window, staring straight forward. Her face like always perfectly emotionless.

The gym snapped back into my view. I blinked, coming back to reality.

"Did she hear it?" I asked concerned after a long break of silence.

Nessie frowned. "I don't know… I _think_ she did, it was loud enough, I guess. But…" –she shrugged– "It didn't appear like she had heard voices in her head."

Alice snorted. "Well, she doesn't appear like a normal human anyway, does she?"

"Yeah," I replied with a thoughtful frown on my face.

"Chime, sweetheart, it's nice to see you again," Esme greeted Chime lovingly and pulled her into a warm hug.

Chime, who seemed to have known what would happen, didn't return any hint of friendliness. "Hello, Esme." –Short but polite. Clever.

"How are you?" Esme asked, not the slightest bit irritated by Chime's coldness.

"Fine." –You couldn't tell that.

Esme nodded, as if she was listening to an interesting story. "And your parents? How are they doing?"

"Fine." –Not very talk active, were we?

"That's great," Esme continued, still smiling brightly. "What do they do, by the way?"

Why was Emse asking all this? Since when was she so interested in the Winds family?

Chime answered mechanically. "Dad works at a company in Seattle and Karen writes books at home."

Strange. She called her father "Dad" but her mother by her first name?

"She's an author?" Esme wondered in awe. "Should I know any of her works?"

Chime shrugged. "I guess, not. I think she just writes some small things like poems or something like that."

She _guessed_? _Something like that_? Didn't she know what her mother did exactly?

"Oh, I see." Esme's happy face got a little crack. She probably had noticed Chime's cryptic replies, too. "And your father? Seattle is quiet far. Does he travel between the city and Forks every day?"

"No." –Was that just my imagination or did her shoulders really just slump down a little bit?– "He has a small apartment in Seattle and comes home only once or twice a month."

For a brief second I saw a tiny spark of a wish in Chime. She loved her father. Although I knew that was wrong of me to think so, but I actually hadn't expected Chime being able to love at all… I felt bad for thinking so terribly of her.

"Oh, that must be hugely exhausting," Esme remarked. "Excuse me, but… why don't you move to Seattle together? It would be easier for your father that way, wouldn't it? And I believe your mother can write her poems anywhere, right?"

The perfect darkness snapped back in place at once, swallowing her like a giant cloak, protecting her from… _something_…

"Karen doesn't like big cities," she answered. It sounded perfectly plausible, but her hands that were balling into fists said something else.

"Of course," Esme said. "She's an artist. They need the nature around them for inspiration." She smiled understandingly, winking at me.

Damn. She probably had noticed me not touching an instrument in the last few days. –But that didn't mean anything! I could compose _anytime_ and _anywhere_. This was just a… creative crisis. Pretty common. All great artists would have that from time to time. Nothing serious.

I cleared my throat, changing the subject. "Esme? Sorry, but we really need to get to work."

"Oh, of course," she hurried to apologize and got up. "I'll be in the kitchen. Call me if you need anything. Chime, would you like something to drink? Or cookies perhaps?"

"No, thank you, Esme."

Esme nodded, then finally left us alone in the living room.

I sighed. "Well, let's get to work then," I said and opened my laptop while Chime opened her history book and disappeared wordlessly behind it. I assumed that she just wanted to read the introduction of the chapter so she surprised me by turning the page and then a few minutes later again, still not saying anything.

_Hello? I –your partner chosen by "destiny– am still sitting here right in front of you and waiting for you to join me to start with our __teamwork, because that's what we're supposed to do, isn't it? –_Teamwork_!_

I cleared my throat.

No reaction.

"Um… Chime?"

Nothing.

"Er… I already made a front page for our presentation. What do you think about it?" I asked, turning the screen forward her.

She looked up, just peaking the tiniest bit over her book. "Great."

That didn't _sound_ "great".

"So… we'll use it?" I checked again.

She shrugged. "Why not?" And she disappeared behind the stupid book again.

Man, she must have finished reading the entire chapter and the following one by now, for crying out loud!

As if she'd heard me shouting in my head, she suddenly shut the book, leaned forward, pulled the laptop on her lap and started typing very quickly (for humans). She didn't say a single word, neither did she spare me the tiniest glimpse.

_What the-_

Okay, now I was getting angry. I cleared my throat again, louder than before.

Still nothing.

"Chime?"

Freaking annoying silence.

She was ignoring me – in _my_ house!

"_Chime?_"

She finally looked up, staring at me with an expression that appeared somewhat impatient. She still didn't say anything, waiting for me to explain myself why I had interrupted her work.

"Don't you think that we should work together?" I snapped. "Since we're –you know– a _team_?"

She stared at me like I was some kind of interesting new animal in the zoo. I stared back, forcing myself to not look away. Her ice-blue eyes bored into me like cold sharp knives.

If looks could kill…

Have I already mentioned that that girl was creepy?

Finally –it seemed like a whole eternity later– she put the laptop back on the table between us, snuffling an annoyed "fine".

I grinned triumphantly. –Much better.

From that on, we worked together on our project twice a week. Wednesday afternoon at my house and Sunday at hers.

Well, strictly seen, you couldn't call that "teamwork", I suppose. We just sat together in a room. I would make a suggestion of how to continue and she would give her approval. She _always_ approved, probably too bored or lazy or whatever bring up her real own opinion.

I was already so used to her saying "okay" to all my ideas that I had to remind myself of not letting my mouth drop open when she suddenly protested one day.

"Rubbish," she hissed – literally _hissed_!

I needed a second to gather my thoughts and from a replay in English. "Excuse me?"

"Those suicide attackers," she almost spat the word as if it was the filthiest word that humankind had ever come up with. As mentioned, our subject had the hugely attractive title: "The Beginning of the twenty-first century – The beginning of terrorism?" and now we had reached the part where we had to give possible explanations for the terrorists' actions. Something that obviously seemed to –forgive me, but I just couldn't come up with a more suitable description– piss her off.

"Don't they have family? Friends?" she explained, her face angry. "Someone who cares for them? All those so called _reasons_" –she pointed at the screen– "all rubbish. They are still humans, so they surely have someone to whom they are important to and for whom it is worth living on."

"Well, maybe it's because of exactly these people that they would wish to sacrifice themselves for," I tried to calm her down. She was even scarier while being angry than before.

It didn't work though. "What about the other people?" she disagreed, her ever so cold eyes now shining like two destructive blue flames. "Which one of those so called martyrs ask all the innocent people who did nothing but happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time? Tell me. Name me just one."

I was speechless.

She shook her head, her gaze fixed on the screen of the laptop. She looked disgusted. "If someone really wishes to die, he should at least go somewhere where he doesn't disturb anyone else with his foolish act." Her eyes softened at the end, gaining a sad gleam. "Neither innocent passersby nor people who care about him."

That was the longest speech I had heard from her since I had met her weeks ago. I hadn't even imagined that she'd be capable of talking for this long at once.

That speech seemed to have taken up all the words she usually said a week though. Until I had packed my things and left her house, she didn't open her mouth one more time.

It was the last Sunday before our presentation. We decided –or rather _I_ did, because she never said anything ever sine her emotional speech two weeks ago– to use this last day for practicing the execution. I arrived at her house at about four pm and paused when I found a foreign car in the driveway. Did Mrs. Winds have a visitor today?

I parked my car in front of their house, since my usual spot in the driveway was taken, and got out. A very happy Mrs. Winds opened the door for me.

"Derick!" she greeted me, pulling me into a hug as usual. "Punctual as always."

"Karen," I greeted her, smiling. She had told me to call her by her first name since Chime and I started meeting frequently for working on the project. "I hope I'm not too punctual?" I asked politely, referring to the foreign car outside.

"Oh, no, of course not, she replied, waving her hand negatively. "Come. Chime is in the kitchen." She walked ahead.

I blinked in confusion.

Chime was never in the kitchen, at least not when I came. Usually it was "Chime is in her room. I'll call her" or "Chime is already in the living room". But kitchen? –Never.

I followed Karen, curious.

There was the sound of carefree laughter before I turned the corner.

My eyes widened in disbelieve.

It couldn't be…

"Now you're exaggerating. That's just _impossible_!"

I took one last step, stopped frozen in the doorway and stared.

There, at the round wooden kitchen table sat Chime, her blue eyes sparkling and her cheeks flushed.

She was smiling.

* * *

_yeah... well... this took LOOONG! ^^ hehe... sorry! ^^_

_here are the lame excuses of lame excuses for me: **"School rules my life" / "Everyday life inhibited my inspirations" / "There were no inspirations"** XDD_

_pretty much the same that Derick is suffering now - **a "creative crisis", pretty common ;)**_

_I THINK that I won't take so much time for the next chap - because it's gonna be funny and **funny things are always easy to write** XD_

_please practice your patience and don't forget to **review**! ^^_

_-Mulan-_

_**PS. to the ones among you who understand GERMAN: check out my stories at fictionpress(dot)com - you can find the page on my profile ;) -thx!**  
_


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter12 –Anticipation–**

Seeing Chime smiling was like seeing the sun shining at night.

Against all kind of logic and any physical laws.

Impossible.

But all the happiness that she was raying at this very moment told a totally different story. Either she was schizophrenic or she had a twin sister who was the exact opposite of her.

"Oh, we have a guest." I finally managed to tear my eyes off Chime's face and found a man sitting with her at the wooden kitchen table. He was in his middle ages, maybe a few years older than Karen was. Beneath the many laugh lines and the happy smile, great exhaustion marked his features, making him appear older. His dark blond hair was hardly combed and showed several strands of grey. Through a pair of old-fashioned glasses, tired eyes looked up at me more or less curiously. They held the same shade of ice-blue like-

No… that was not possible!

"Dad, this is Derick Wing. A classmate of mine."

It was.

Mr. Winds got up and extended his hand to me. He was averagely tall; his shoulders slumped down as if he was carrying all the weight of the entire world on them. "Nice to meet you, Derick."

"Good afternoon, Mr. Winds," I replied, shaking his hand. He winced a little at the touch of my cold skin.

Impossible. It was simply impossible. How could this man be her father? Biologically seen, it just made no sense. Her parents were both blond and seemed to be of European origins. Where did she get her raven black hair? –It wasn't dyed, I would have smelled the colorant. And her Asian looks? That was something that she definitely could not fake. She didn't resemble anyone of her "parents" the slightest bit. Well, except for her eyes – those were definitely her father's. But the rest…

"Come, sit down with us, Derick," Mr. Winds offered, sitting down himself. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No, thank you, Sir," I rejected politely, taking the seat on Chime's left, opposite to Mr. Winds. She was still smiling.

Creepy…

"So, which class do you attend together?" Mr. Winds asked, his blue eyes were not as clear as Chime's; they were blood-shot because of exhaustion.

"Modern History," Chime answered eagerly. I suppressed the urge to grab her shoulders and shake her hard while shouting something like, _"Who are you and what did you do to that cold creepy ghost of a girl"_.

"We're working on a presentation together for next Monday. –Oh, that's already tomorrow, isn't it?" She giggled.

_Giggled!_

It took all my self-control to pull my eyes off Chime's smiling face and look at her father. "Yes, Sir. Actually, that's why I'm here."

"Well, I guess, you should get to work then? We don't want you receiving bad grades because of carelessness in the end?" he said, smiling at us.

Chime nodded eagerly. I would have never thought of her as a daddy's girl. But then again, I hadn't believed to ever see her smiling, either.

"Good luck," Mr. Winds wished us when we left the kitchen after Chime had kissed his cheek.

Totally a daddy's girl.

We went into the living-room, she walking ahead and me right behind her like a shadow. Even looking at her back showed the difference between the usual Chime and the Chime today. The usual Chime would walk stiffly, bolt upright, her steps almost completely silent. The Chime today was loud, her steps springy, light, almost bouncing, her lips swaying to music only she could hear. The black hole was gone but still, my gift wouldn't work on her. I spent the following two hours watching her. I felt like a crazy scientist observing his latest experiment – or maybe my behavior resembled more that of a stalker's? However, this was one of the most fascinating hours I had experienced in the last thirteen decades.

The way she moved, the energy with which she gesticulated with her hands while she talked. The sound of her words, her clear voice so happy and enthusiastic. And the gleam in her eyes, the blue not cold like ice but sparkling like the sea in the sun – so warm, so cheerful, so _lively_. And for the first time I noticed that Chime was truly beautiful.

When I went home at about six pm –taking the flight at the sound of a dinner invitation– I was actually looking forward to seeing her again soon.

I arrived at home, finding Jacob and Rosalie in the garage, tuning their beloved cars. I smiled in amusement. The two of them –using a German saying here since I find it more fitting– _couldn't smell each other_, literally. It was kind of annoying how they would use any opportunity to insult each other. Anytime, anywhere – except for the garage. It was the only place in the entire universe where they would act more or less civil around each other. Their shared passion for vehicles was stronger than their dislike for the opponent, I guessed.

"Hey, Derick!" Jake greeted me with his warm rough voice; his pearl white teeth gleamed against his healthy brown skin like the moon shining in the pitch-black night sky. "We're going to the res tomorrow. You in?"

I raised an eyebrow. "We?" I repeated, turning toward Rose.

"Chloe, Nessie, Bella, Edward, Jacob and Seth," she explained, laughing. "I'm definitely not coming along to the zoo trip."

Jacob tsked and shook his head theatrically. "Such a shame. This is gonna be the best event in the century."

I laughed. "Really? Now I'm curious."

"Go and report to me afterwards if it was really worth it," Rose suggested and disappeared beneath Emmett's jeep, snickering.

"A brilliant plan," I played along. "I guess, I'm in."

"Great," Jake said before turning back to Rosalie. "And you'll regret it for the rest of your existence after Derick here has told you just how freaking awesome La Push is!"

Rosalie burst out in booming laughter, the entire jeep shaking at the vibrations.

She was still laughing when I entered the living-room, finding Chloe and Seth cuddled together on the couch and watching a movie. –"_Kung Fu Panda_"… nice…

Seth lifted his fist when he saw me. He was grinning like the happy kid he was. "Yeah! Team La Push!" he cheered.

I laughed. "Sure. La Push forever." We fist-bumped.

"I'm so excited!" Seth admitted, almost bouncing like Alice did at the sight of the newest boots by _Gucci_. "I haven't been to La Push for ages! Like _really_ for ages! Well, I'm still a little sacred of meeting Leah thought… but I'm sure even _Leah_ can behave since she gets to see her beloved little brother again after so many years. What do you think, angel?"

We both looked down at Chloe, finding her staring at me with great concentration. I gulped. Somehow, the prospect of what she could see on me with her gift made me nervous.

"Chloe? Angel, is something wrong?" Seth switched form cheerful into worried immediately.

"Huh?" she blinked, as if she had just woken up from a strange dream. "I-I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"Are you alright?" She asked, his dark eyes warm and soft with worry. "If you don't want to go to La Push, it's fine. We can stay at home. It'd be absolutely okay with me. You don't have to force yourself into doing anything."

Chloe's eyes grew wide with shock. "What? No! O-of course I want to go to La Push with you. I've always wished to see First Beach ever since you told me about its beauty." She reached her hand out to stroke his short black hair. When she continued, her voice was soft and soothing. "I've always wanted to see your home, the place where you were born, to place of your childhood and all your wonderful memories."

The concern on Seth's face disappeared, displaced by a big goofy grin. He leaned into her touch and I could swear that he even purred like a happy little kitten.

Feeling like the odd man out now, I turned around to go upstairs into my room. Before disappearing around the next corner, I caught Chloe watching me with big curious eyes.

* * *

_okay... it was surprisingly **difficult **to find a fitting name for this chap... I was like sitting at my desk staring at the blank line at the top of the sheet and thinking: "**Damn**!" XDD_

_well, this chap came really **fast**! (in comparision to the last few chaps at least...) ^^_

_sth else: the German saying Derick uses (**"they couldn't smell each other"**) could be translated with "they couldn't stand each other" - but I found the German saying more... er... **appropriat **XD_

_hmm... was there sth else I needed/wanted to say... ?_

_erm... O.o_

_whatever! XD -as always:** please be patient and don't forget to review! ;)**_

_-Mulan-  
_


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter13 –Perfect Harmony–**

I leaned against the closed door, staring at the many half-written sheet music on my desk and my keyboard opposite to it. My fingers twitched in anticipation, longing for the familiar feeling of the smooth keys beneath them.

I crossed the room to my desk and sat down. I found a few empty sheets –I hated looking for more paper while in the middle of composing– and drew a single violin clef in the first line. I took a deep steadying breath and then music filled the room.

There was a knock on the door. The sound reached me form somewhere far away.

"Derick?"

_Now a guitar solo – fast – hectic – rushing – but accompanied by a steadying rhythmic beat in the background …_

"He can't hear you, Bella." Laughing.

The final – growing – like a wave – bigger and bigger – gaining speed and volume …

"Seems so." An amused sigh. "What to do?"

"Watch the pro."

_The wave had reached its maximum height – towering above me – the world – about to crash down any moment – the final note – the final word-_

I jumped, panting for air and pressing my hands to my ears. The pen fell on the floor with a quiet sound that was practically completely drowned by the horribly loud cacophony.

What was it with all the people around me and dissonance? Didn't they know that that was just pure torture?

"_Emmett_!"

"Hey, Derick, bro! We're going hunting. You in?" He was grinning like the big fat moron that he was, his fingers still pressing all the keys from "F" to "B" which had caused the ugly noise. And in that very moment, all I could think about was that I would regret it later if I smashed his face against my beloved keyboard now.

"I'll take that growl is a yes," he continued, perfectly at ease. "And, man, you _look_ thirsty. Stop making that face, you'll scare all the animals away."

Well, it wouldn't hurt _that_ much if I threw him against the keyboard now. I could get a new one anytime …

Then the lust to kill was suddenly gone, pooped into thin air as if it had never been there.

I groaned in irritation. "_Jasper_! Stop that crap!"

Laughter came from downstairs, followed by Alice's high pixie-voice, "I _told_ you, he won't like that."

I snorted. –You didn't need to be a psychic vampire to know that.

"So," Emmett practically shouted and smacked his fist into his other palm. "Let's go! The wild game population out there really needs some serious reduction. –Can you hear the plants moaning in pain, too?"

Bella laughed, shaking her head. "Our hyper sensible Emmett."

"Yeah," I agreed sarcastically. "Isn't he just _cute_?"

Remember one thing: there use the "c"-word in a sentence with "Emmett" when Emmett was in the same room – except for you were looking for a fight. And hell, a fight against Emmett sounded really good right now.

Emmett's eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. He was so predictable and theatrical. "No one calls me _cute_," he growled.

I grinned provocatively. "Defensive, aren't we?"

That did it. He crouched down, ready to launch all his only-Heaven-knew-how-many pounds at me. I crouched down myself, ready to fight.

"Emmett! No fights in the house!" Esme yelled, probably saving my neck. Emmett was nothing but stronger than me – physically only.

Emmett dropped his fighting position immediately, his eyes growing big and innocent, his voice going all whinny and pitiable. "But Esme! Derick is _so_ mean! He called me _cute_!" He spat the last word as if it was the dirtiest insult of humankind.

"And he is right."

"_Rose!_"

Rosalie appeared in the doorway, leaning elegantly against the doorframe. The word "smug" was written all across her face. "Truth hurts," she said slowly, emphasizing each single word, her voice held a threatening edge. "Live with it, _baby_."

In the end we all went out hunting together, even Jake and Seth came along. It had been quite some time now since last time the entire family had gone hunting together. It felt good to race through the countryside with the happy laughter and chatters of the people you loved in the ears. Like background music – creating perfect harmony. Even Emmett who was constantly trying to get me into doing something stupid couldn't hurt my good mood.

"So, what did you compose today, Derick?" Esme asked in a more or less quiet moment.

Emmett and Jacob were racing against each other, barking silly things like "eat my dust" at each other. Then Edward came, overtaking them – backwards.

"Eat my dust," he laughed gaining various insults from Emmett and some threatening barks from Jacob. Some of those sounded like "stupid bloodsucker".

I shook my head at them and turned to look at Esme, the smile seemed to have been engraved on my face. "Just some simple song that had come across my mind. Nothing special."

She raised an eyebrow, showing me her disbelief. I could guess what she was thinking: _"You haven't written a single note since the performance six weeks ago. –So don't you dare to come with _'Nothing special'_ to me!"_

"I can play it for you if you like," I offered quickly as a peace-offering.

She smiled, satisfied. "I would love that."

Since some of us –mainly Emmett and Jacob– didn't want to leave "so early" (we had practically been out for the entire night now) Esme, Bella, Carlisle, Nessie and I went home first. I ran upstairs to get the sheet music while Bella sent Nessie to bed. I wasn't sure whether she really needed sleep at all – honestly, that girl was more vampire than human. However, Bella still insisted on her daughter sleeping at few hours every day at least. I guessed it was a mother-thing.

She joined us in the _piano-room_ a few minutes later. Curiously, she leaned over my shoulder to catch a glimpse at the sheet music on the music stand in front of me. A grin stretched across her face until she was laughing full-heartedly in the end. "That's really great, Derick. You hit the nail on the head."

_Huh?_

"Come on, sing it, please. I can't wait to hear it," she urged, still grinning form ear to ear.

I threw her another confused look, then I shrugged and hit the first accord. I imagined the sound of an electric guitar together with an electric bass and the strong beat of drums, fast, rhythmical, urgent, with a slight hint of mocking amusement, and then the lyrics suddenly chimed in without a warning as if the words were falling out of the blue.

"_I'm seeing that you think_

_I'm thinking that you feel_

_I'm feeling that you wish-_"

"_But I can't hear you, not a word_"

I jumped and turned around. I hadn't noticed Edward appear, I had been too entranced in the music. He winked at Bella and she giggled like a little school girl in response.

It finally clicked in my head. I laughed. _You hit the nail on the head_ – indeed.

I started playing again but this time it was Edward's voice that filled the room.

"_I'm seeing that you think_

_I'm thinking that you feel_

_I'm feeling that you wish_

_But I can't hear you, not a word_

_I brought a dictionary, and I_

_shouted A to Z at you,_

_piled thousand crazy words up and tried_

_to make you see me in the eye_

_And if you're leaving_

_I'll come with you anywhere and when_

_If you really must fall on your mouth,_

_why won't you fall on mine then?_

_Oh, please just give me a single –Oh,_

_please just give me a single –Oh,_

_please just give me a single_

_Gimme, gimme, gimme a single –Oh,_

_please just give me a single –Oh,_

_please just give me a single –Oh,_

_please just give me a single_

_Gimme, gimme, gimme a single word_"

They were dancing now, Edward whirled Bella round and round. Her happy laughter accompanied by Esme's joyful clapping.

"_You're strangely beautiful and quiet_

_How you cock your head to the side_

_and show the loud world and me_

_your shoulder that's made out of ice_

_Your silence is you tent_

_Put it right into the land_

_Pulled the ropes tight, wond'ring_

_how a boy_

_could trip over it at night_

_I'm here down on my knees_

_begging for your attention_

_I want to see all the depths_

_that lay in your great ocean_

_Oh, please just give me a single –Oh,_

_please just give me a single –Oh,_

_please just give me a single_

_Gimme, gimme, gimme a single –Oh,_

_please just give me a single –Oh,_

_please just give me a single –Oh,_

_please just give me a single_

_Gimme, gimme, gimme a single word_"

Here I had planed a guitar solo with a very strong beat in the background. As if they had read my mind, Carlisle and Esme started to clap the beat and Edward gave Bella an especially strong whirl, catching her before she could collide with the wall. He sang the bridge while holding her tightly against his chest.

"_My head goes empty and_

_I feel my blood is boiling_

_when beneath your deep silent eyes all_

_your thoughts and wishes 're running_"

The refrain started once again and Esme and Carlisle sang along while Edward repeated the first verse, creating perfect harmony.

"_Oh, please just give me a single –Oh,_

_please just give me a single –Oh,_

_please just give me a single_

_Gimme, gimme, gimme a single –Oh,_

_(I'm seeing that you think)_

_please just give me a single –Oh, _

_(I'm seeing that you think)_

_please just give me a single –Oh,_

_(I'm thinking that you feel)_

_please just give me a single_

_(I'm feeling that you wish)_

_Gimme, gimme, gimme a single word_

_(But I can't hear you, not a word)_

_Gimme, gimme, gimme a single word_

_(But I can't hear you, not a word))_"

The song ended, sudden, a clean cut, making you long for more. I sighed and looked up, seeing Edward holding Bella tight against his chest. He smiled down at her as if he were the happiest man that had ever walked this planet. Then he bended down to meet her lips with his in a sweet kiss – united in perfect harmony.

And in that moment I felt something that I had never felt before.

Envy.

* * *

_okay guys... I'll say it straight forward... *cough cough*_

**_I've bad news... T.T_**

_since I'll have to take my **final exams** in march (which is in only a month *SCREEEEEAAAM! °o°*) I plan to stop writing 'til the exams are over_

_I hope you can understand that - I really mustn't suck at those exams °~°_

_second (yeah, unfortunately, there is a second... ^^): that stupid **Night-Galary wouldn't work**! - darn you pizco-people who threw the good old concept away! ._

_so there're no original lyrics and direct translations for the song in this chap... T.T_

_well, but you can listen to it on youtube or anywhere else ;) - the song is called: **"Nur ein Wort"** (="Just a word") **by "Wir sind Helden"** (="We are Heroes" ^^)_

_it's a wonderful song - I love it! ^^_

_sooo... I guess that's good bye 'til april now... *sob* and I'm soooo~ sorry that the story had stopped with a cliff... ^^ *evil child*_

**_just keep in mind, that this WILL be finished! and that this isn't the absolute end of the story! it WILL go on! you WILL find out all the secrets around Chime and Derick! and of course there WILL be a happy ending! _**_(and by "happy ending" I mean a REAL happy ending - not a pseudo happy ending like the one in "Nightfall" ^^ )_**_  
_**

**_I promise! ^^_**

_-Mulan-  
_


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter14 –First Beach****–**

"Derick?"

"Hmm…"

"Could you slow down a little? Please?"

"Hmm…"

"Derick? … _Derick?_"

"Huh? What?"

"Slow down? _Please!_"

"Oh, er, sure." I eased the pressure on the gas pedal and noticed to my own surprise that I had been driving twice as fast as the speed limit allowed to. I looked up at the rearview mirror and threw Chloe an apologetic smile. "Sorry. Is it better now?"

She nodded. Her hand that was clutching Seth's shirt was shaking, her knuckles strained against her skin. She took deep breaths to calm down and I wondered if vampires could hyperventilate.

"Relax, angel," Seth reassured her, stroking her head soothingly. "Derick here, just can't wait to finally arrive in La Push." He smiled –no beamed–, practically bouncing in his seat. I eyed him suspiciously. If that boy kept on hopping in my car like that, there would be a Seth's-head-shaped hole in the roof by the time we had arrived.

It was Monday and we were going down to the Native American reservation La Push as we had planned yesterday. Seth had been grinning all day long – he had been even grinning during lunch while shoveling huge amounts of his so detested zucchinis into his mouth. And according to Esme's amused smirk that had been plastered on her face when we had come back home from school, Jacob had been acting pretty much the same way the whole day.

Well, who would blame them? They were going home, finally, after eighty long years. I hadn't been to Detroit ever since leaving the city after my change about a hundred and thirty years ago. I had never felt the necessity to go there, though the longing was there. But why should I return? There was nothing to return to after all – even my mother's grave would be gone by now for sure.

I envied Jacob and Seth. They still had a place worth returning to, had beloved people waiting there for them – they still had a _home_.

I sighed. I really should stop thinking about this. Self-pity wasn't healthy.

Edward eventually caught up with me –we had originally decided to let him lead the way since I had never been to La Push before– and overtook me. The entire car –Edward, Bella, Jacob and Nessie– stared at me with big questioning eyes. Their faces seemed to say: _"Are you nuts?"_. I smiled sheepishly in apology and I was sure, I would have blushed if I had been able to.

Two minutes later we passed La Push's place name sign, an unproportional big old thing made out of wood that read: _"The Quileute Tribe Welcomes You To La Push"_. The white paint had worn off at certain spots with the years, leaving enough space for green moss to grow. La Push was a small place –smaller than Forks– and obviously a tourist trap. Its biggest buildings were a souvenir shop with expensive postcards showing the blue ocean, a small supermarket and something that could be called a restaurant (at least, that was what its sign said: _"Rivers Edge Restaurant"_) which's front door was guarded by two seven feet high totem poles with ugly, scary faces.

I grimaced.

_Home, sweet home._

"Woa! Chloe! Chloe, look! That's the _Rivers Edge_ – they make the best pancakes ever! It's still here! And, oh, there! Angel, look! That's the old path that leads down to the beach!" Seth shouted, his dark eyes sparkling with excitement like a little child at Christmas morning. "It hasn't changed. All is still the same. –Isn't that just wonderful?"

Chloe –having calmed down in the meantime– smiled happily with him. Her head spinning from right to left and back again to all the things Seth pointed her. "Your home is beautiful, Seth."

I coughed to hide the laughter that was tickling my chest. I looked up at the rearview mirror. Chloe was even a worse liar than Bella; usually you could literally read the truth in her face. But to my utter surprise, she didn't appear the slightest bit uncomfortable. So either she was honest about this tiny dirty village being beautiful or she had been secretly practicing her lying skills. I had to admit that the latter possibility was a little too far-fetched.

"Thank you, angel," Seth replied, his deep rough voice trembling with emotion. "You know, I have always wanted to take you here one day and share it with you." –he touched her forehead with his lips softly and Chloe's eyes drifted close with a sigh– "I love you."

"I love you, too," Chloe whispered back, the smile on her face showed total contentment and happiness.

I swallowed and forced my eyes back on the street. The irrational feeling of envy hit me like a bolt from the blue, knocking the air out of my lungs.

Luckily, the silver Volvo stopped in front of an old house and I concentrated gratefully on the new sight.

The house was small with only one story and like the rest of La Push built out of wood that had become dark and brittle due to time and weather. The rusty red paint was in an equally bad condition, wearing off here and there. The house was old and scruffy but held nonetheless a certain charm, making one feel comfortable and at ease.

Simple beige curtains swayed behind one of the narrow windows and in the next second, the front door boomed open. In the doorway stood a man, his wrinkled old skin colored in a dark healthy brown. He was tall –no gigantic!–, filling up the entire doorway. Despite his grayish hair, his dark eyes held a lively, childish gleam. The wide happy grin on his face reminded me on the saying: _"You are only as old as you feel"_.

"_Quil!_" Jacob and Seth shouted simultaneously, jumping out of the cars.

"Jake! Seth!" Quil shouted back, dashing down the few porch stairs and meeting the two young men in a tight embrace. "So good to see you, my brothers! So good to see you!"

The three of them made a funny picture. The way they hugged each other showed that they were good old friends. But then again, two of them only looked like in their late teens or early twenties while the third one seemed to be already in his late sixties. (Of course, Quil had to be older than sixty because he had been the same age as Jacob as the Cullens had left Forks eighty years ago. He had to be ninety something at least. I guessed, the wolf-genes made him appear younger.)

"Jake!" a new voice joined the scene. A young man with the same color of skin, that apparently all Quileutes had, appeared in the doorway. He was not as tall and muscular as Jacob though better built than Seth was. He jumped down the stairs and joined the three men in their reunion.

"Embry!" Jacob shouted. "Man, you haven't changed a bit."

Embry laughed. "Neither have you."

"Yeah, yeah," Quil said. "Don't think I didn't get your hidden comment on my age, guys."

They laughed; a beautiful choir of bass.

The rest of us had gotten out of the cars by now. Chloe stood at my side. The gold of her eyes melted like tears at the lovely scene in front of us. She was hiccupping with sobs.

"Seth," a deep female voice called.

Seth looked up, his eyes widened in joy and, I could swear, a little bit of shock. "Leah!"

She smiled, her white teeth shining in the dim light of the overcastted sky. She walked down the stairs and Seth ran toward her, right into her open arms. "Hey, Sis," he sighed against her shoulder.

"Welcome home, little brother," she replied, stroking his head lovingly.

"Wow, seems they were right," Jacob said in mocking astonishment. "Distance makes love stronger."

They laughed.

"Shut up, Jacob," Leah shot back, but she, too, was grinning.

That moment a new scent filled the air. It was a strange mixture of wet dog, human food and orchids. An old woman stood at the door. She wasn't very tall, probably around Bella's size. Her long gray hair was pulled back loosely with a braided leather band. Her bright smile stretched across her chocolate brown face, drawing deep wrinkles around her dark eyes and full lips. There was something in her face that reminded me on Nessie's thousands of baby pictures that Alice and Rosalie had literally forced me to look through with them. There was a specific roundness to the form of her cheeks that only little children had. Usual people would outgrow that, in their teens at the latest, but it seemed that she had never laid down her childish features.

"Claire?" Jacob breathed; his eyes as wide as saucers.

Her smile grew even bigger if that were even possible. "Why are you so surprised, _Unca Jay_?" she said, cooing like a baby at the end. Her voice was like her face, still surprisingly child-like. "Not everyone can stay two years old, like you do."

"Hey! You better not make fun of me," Jacob warned, pointing a finger at her playfully. "You know, I changed your diapers once."

"No, you didn't," Embry corrected. "You were gone as soon as Emily said the word _diapers_."

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, following you out the door."

"Okay, enough," Quil interrupted them. "None of you guys had ever changed Claire's diapers and you know what? –I'm really grateful that you didn't or else I probably would've to kill you now."

We all laughed. Seth even had to hold his stomach.

Jacob, Embry, Seth, Leah and Quil were the last members of La Push's once glorious pack. In the last eighty years the other members had all imprinted –a crazy wolf-version of falling in love– and passed away one by one with their human mates.

Bella had a second theory though. "_The missing catalyst_". No vampires – no little boys bursting into giant wolves. I guessed, we would see whether her theory was right or not. We would just have to keep our eyes open for native teenage boys rocketing upwards and becoming more short-tempered than usual pubescent boys would.

Jacob and Seth were the "lucky" ones who got to imprint on an immortal mate and so they were kind of immortal themselves. Leah and Embry never imprinted until now. Because of that, they didn't feel the urge to stop phasing regularly into their wolf-form –the magic-trick not to age– and so they were practically immortal, too. All the other pack-members stopped to phase at some point, deciding on aging with their soul mates. Quil was only still alive because Claire had been two when he had imprinted on her. So he had to wait about sixteen years for her to catch up with him – sixteen years in which he phased regularly into a giant wolf and so got to keep his youth a little longer.

Quil Alteara was the tribe's eldest but not the pack's Alpha. That was a priority that one only got by birth and Quil wasn't the "chosen one".

That was Jacob. And after more than eighty years he still hated it when people called him the Alpha. He thought of it as a curse like we thought about our existence as vampires. Though there were certain advantages.

For example, he and Carlisle had changed the treaty between us Cullen vampires and the La Push wolf pack. Originally, the Cullens were not allowed to set a foot or even loose a single hair on the Quileute's land. Now we could go there as long as a member of the pack agreed to accompany us.

It was a very important moment for Carlisle, even in all his four hundred years. It showed the depth of the comradeship between us Cullen vampires and the Quileute wolf pack, all the things that they had been through – only survived because they had each other.

Quil and his wife Claire were a very easy-going couple, always joking and laughing. They made one feel at home with only a few actions. Claire had a feast for an entire battalion ready on which she had probably spent an entire week to cook. She didn't ask us vampires whether she could offer us anything which certainly would have been awkward. The wolf-men dug in without spending too much time on prelude. Leah ate a lot, too –more than a normal human woman would eat–, but she at least tried to live up to the good manners her mother had taught her once. Claire and Bella exchanged a knowing look as if they were good old friends; they rolled their eyes at the scene in front of them simultaneously and laughed.

"How much do you have to spend on food for a month?" Bella giggled.

"Oh, you don't want to know," Claire groaned. "Trust me."

The Alteara's tiny house was completely packed. It was a miracle that we all fit in - the wolf-people seemed to fill up all the space on their own. The interior was like the house itself – old, worn off and warm. The colorful orchids on the window sills, the old polyester couch that held very visible evidence that someone very heavy sat on it very often, even the dark parquet that hadn't seen wax in the last twenty years – every tiny spot showed that this was a place been lived in and loved.

It reminded me on our tiny studio apartment in Detroit. I remembered that Mom had a flowerpot on our only windowsill but I couldn't remember what she had grown. I just knew that they weren't orchids – too expensive. Maybe daisies or clover, something that she had gotten from a park…

"Derick?"

I blinked, coming back to the presence. "Yes?"

"Jacob, Embry, Quil and Seth are going to the graveyard," Edward told me. "The rest of us would like to go down to First Beach. You in?"

I nodded. Of course, I would go with them. The four wolf-men obviously wanted to go visit their departed comrades. We shouldn't intrude.

"Make sure to wear enough sun block," Jacob joked before they took off. "They say that First Beach reveals your true self."

Claire drove us down to the beach with her ancient rusty-red Volkswagen van. It had seven seats so we all fit in. She told us –blushing– that they had truly needed all the space fifty years ago because they had a lot of children.

Bella seemed to be extremely fond of that piece of scrap metal that Claire so proudly called a vehicle. She defended it passionately when Edward dropped a remark about how La Push seemed to be the birthplace of all monster cars. Her furious reaction made him shaking with laughter the whole ride long.

First Beach was, despite the dark cloudy weather, a beautiful place. Driftwood, white from all the salt, laid scattered on the soft equally snow white sand. The ocean –more gray than blue due to the weather– stroked the beach in an even rhythm. Some of its higher waves hit the sharp cliffs of James Island, breaking against them into millions of tiny droplets. It was off-season and the dark clouds promised a storm rolling nearer so there were no surfers and it was wonderfully quiet.

Bella and Claire sat down on a fallen tree trunk, chatting along happily. Nessie noticed Chloe's uneasy expression. She was worried because of Seth and the emotional pain he certainly would be going through right now, facing the truth that his close friends were actually gone. In order to distract her, Nessie asked her to go looking for shells by showing her one pretty shell after another. It seemed to work, Chloe was smiling a little bit.

"She will be fine," Edward said, seeing me watching Chloe. "As soon as Seth is back at her side and smiling, she will be fine again."

I nodded. "Yes, you're right. I guess, I'm just a little overprotective." –I grinned.–"She's my little sister after all, not only on the paper."

He smiled. "Yes, sure."

We watched the two girls in silence. Father and brother. Daughter and sister. They laughed and we smiled in response.

"How are you, Derick?" Edward suddenly asked.

I blinked and turned my head toward him. He was still looking straight ahead at the two girls kneeling in the sand, giggling. "Um… I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

He raised an eyebrow and turned to look at me meaningfully.

I understood. "Oh, er, you mean the drive to La Push… um… well, that was not on purpose. I really didn't mean to go _that_ fast."

"Not on purpose, but maybe unintentionally," he suggested. "Did something happen today that aggravated you?"

I gulped. Damn, he knew me well.

As soon as he had finished the question, he could read the answer in my thoughts. It wasn't very difficult to understand. They all centered on a certain girl with raven black hair and icy blue eyes.

"Oh," he breathed. "Her again."

"Yeah," I pressed between my teeth. "Again."

He followed my thoughts; the events at the Winds' house yesterday afternoon compared to today afternoon's history class, and chuckled. "Okay, I think, I get your point."

"What the hell is her _problem_?" I finally exploded, making the four women turn their heads in confusion. I turned away in shame and lowered my voice. "I know, she's got some issues – no ordinary person would act so weird like she does. I had gotten used to her cold silent weirdness. It worked pretty well that way. She ignored me. I ignored her. Everyone's happy. But yesterday…" –I shook my head at the memory– "It was like she had been replaced by a totally different person. She talked, moved, blushed – even _smiled_! And giggled! Edward, she _giggled_! Can you even imagine that?"

He didn't say anything about that, neither did I wait for his reply. The words flowed out of my mouth like water out of a broken dam.

"She was so _normal_, Edward, and _nice_. I thought, maybe she had just needed some time to get used to us –we're vampires after all– and now had warmed up. I was actually looking forward to today's presentation. I walked into history, smiling, truly believing that she had changed and become a person that I could get along with. But then – _bamm_! Ice-queen's back! Surprise! Ain't that just _wonderful_?"

I had grown louder again. Bella, Chloe and Nessie stared at me with deep concern while Claire eyed me with an undefinable look. Something between confusion and amusement.

I shook my head again, rubbing my palm against my forehead. "I don't understand her. I just don't get what that crazy creature of a human girl is thinking. And you don't, either. Because you can't hear her. And I can't see her, either. Neither can Chloe. Or Alice. And even Jasper can't. –Do you know what Jasper had told me, after meeting her the first time? _She doesn't feel._ He said, she does not _feel_! Esme said, she might be a shield. But against _all_ of us? Is something like that even _possible_?"

I pressed my eyes shut and took deep breaths to calm down – I was almost panting.

A panting vampire. Very funny.

I remembered, having wondered whether vampires could hyperventilate when Chloe had been so frightened by my driving speed earlier. –The answer was no, we couldn't hyperventilate. At least, that was what my common sense told me. But my heart felt something else…

It was perfectly silent on the beach. All of them frozen, waiting for me to continue shouting around like a maniac. But it was over. The storm was over, leaving nothing behind but more chaos and destruction.

"Men," someone snorted in a deep female voice, making me jump.

I had completely forgotten that Leah had decided to come along with us to the beach instead of accompanying her pack-brothers to the graveyard.

"I think, I get what Seth always rants about you being human, too," she said with heavy sarcasm in her voice. "Blood sucking vampire or not. You're still a man. And as a member of that wonderful gender your arrogant mind can't wrap itself around the fact that you, too, have feelings like a little girl."

"Excuse me?" I blinked at her in confusion.

"Remember what Jacob said, before we left?" Edward said gently, putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "_They say that First Beach reveals your true self._"

I turned my confusion toward him now. "So what?"

Edward didn't respond. He just looked at me with a compassionate look. He turned around to face Bella. His Bella who he loved so much. For whom he had even tried to kill himself when he had thought that she had died after jumping off a cliff. Being with her was his greatest wish. Bella who he had loved even when she still had been a fragile little human.

A human. He had fallen in love with a human…

My eyes widened, they felt like they were about to pop out of their sockets. I opened and closed my mouth several times but no sound would come out.

"And there it starts again," Leah finally decided to help me speak out the words that I obviously couldn't phrase. "The vamp fell in love with the human."

* * *

_hey guys!_

_pew~ it feels soooooo good to update again, because it means that the **stupid** final exams are OVER! XDD *party* *pushing all thoughts on the oral exam away... =)*_

_so, what do you think about the new chapter? -I've to admit, that I'm very proud of myself! XD I wrote 6 pages (actually only 5.5 *cough* *cough* =P) in word - AND there were NO songs, NO extremely long dialogs - **mainly pure text! I'm SOO BRILLIANT! XDD**_

_It was really fun to write about the wolves again *love them ^^* - they are just awesome! =)_

_and **I love Derick's outburst! XD**_

_hmmm... that reminds me... I'd loved Chloe's outburst in "**Nightfall**" too... hehehe... yeah, guess, that tells a lot about my crazy personality XD_

_as always: please be **patient** (I'll do by best at updating as soon as possible! promise! ^^) and don't forget to **review**! =)_

_-Mulan-  
_

_PS. the "Night-Galary" still doesn't work correctly - I'll try to make it work as soon as possible ^^_


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter15 –****Fear–**

_Silence._

_Heavy._

_Numb._

_Dead._

_No motion._

_No thought._

_Just silence._

_Silence was __calming, was deafening, was soothing, was numbing._

_That was good. __Numbness was good. It kept me together, kept me from loosing control over myself, suppressed the storm inside me, stopped it from breaking free and destroying everything__…_

_My body felt like exploding._

Jasper groaned downstairs, not being able to endure this a second longer. Actually, he had made it longer than I would have ever guessed. It had to be terrible for him.

"Derick," he sighed. I heard him throwing something on the desk –probably a book–, followed by his steady steps, crossing the room, pacing like a tiger in a cage. "I'm sorry, but-" –another sigh– "Could you at least _try_ to be less confusing? You're giving me a headache."

I didn't reply. I stuck to the silence, held on to the silence, afraid to let it go, afraid of what might be under its veil.

Jasper sighed again. But this time it was compassionate.

_Silence._

_Heavy._

_Numb._

_Dead._

_No motion._

_No thought._

_Just silence._

_Silence was nice, was soft, was merciful, was painless._

_That was good. Pain was bad. It hurt, made me want to cry, to pull all my hair out, to hit my head against a rock again and again, to ram a knife into my chest, to jump into the ocean and drown fore__ver__…_

_Pain seemed to love me._

Esme's hair rustled quietly when it fell over her shoulder as she moved her head, looking upwards, towards my room. Again.

She was worried. Of course, she was worried.

She inhaled, audibly, intending to say something. But then she exhaled again, without a single word leaving her mouth. Again.

_Silence._

_Heavy._

_Numb._

_Dead._

_No motion._

_No thought._

_Just silence._

_Silence was light, was effortless, was simple, was easy._

_That was good. Easy was good. It helped me to __stay calm and collected, to keep lying still on the divan, to let my eyes stay closed, to keep my mind blank__…_

_M__y mind refused to take a break._

Edward's fingers now hit a B. He lasted there, on this key, allowing the tone to fill the entire room, the entire house. It faded away and eventually vanished. Then he moved on. An Es, lower now. He waited again, listened.

He was listening to me, to my thoughts. How they jumped up and down, back and forth, rebounding at the walls of my head, searching for a way out, not finding the way out.

The tone faded away and eventually vanished. But his fingers didn't move on.

_Silence._

_Heavy._

_Numb._

_Dead._

_No motion._

_No thought._

_Just silence._

_Silence was fresh, was winged, was agravic, was liberating._

_That was good. Liberty was good. It made me feel at ease, feel weightless, feel like flying, feel no burden, feel no responsibility, feel absolutely free__…_

_Gravity was apparently stronger._

Chloe picked up the blanket Seth had just pushed off the bed in his sleep. Carefully she slid it over his body, make as less sounds as possible to not wake him. Her clothes rustled against the soft bed sheet when she moved to sit next to him. The sound of her fingers combing through his thick hair was almost inaudible.

In contrast to her sobs.

_Silence._

_Heavy._

_Numb._

_Dead._

_No motion._

_No thought._

_Just silence._

_Silence was real, was palpable, was rational, made sense._

_That was good. Sense was good. It kept me from shouting around, from breaking the silence, from running against a tree, from driving off a cliff, from doing anything stupid__…_

_My heart hated sense._

A car turned, pulled into our driveway. It was the familiar sound of Carlisle's Mercedes S550AMG. Growing louder, coming nearer, stopped. A door opened and closed, steps, another one opened and closed.

"Esme?" A question of hope.

Steps, quick, usually light and carefree, now heavy and sad. "Carslie." A sigh of resignation.

Silence.

Then steps again. Faster, urgent. Rushing upstairs. Becoming unendurably loud, hammering against my eardrums, pulling at my nerves, at my sense.

Stop.

Quiet sounds at the door, gentle but still demanding. –_Knock, knock, knock._

"Derick?"

He waited a few seconds for my answer, which we both knew would never come, then he opened the door and entered my room.

"Derick."

One word. More was unnecessary. One word said it all. The atmosphere he felt in the room, how I appeared to him, the picture of misery that I portrayed perfectly. One word. I didn't even need to look at him and read it in his face. One word was more than enough.

He crossed the room and sat down at my side on the divan. I didn't move to make him space. I hadn't decided yet whether I wanted him to be here or not.

To anyone who now entered the room, this must have been a hilarious picture to look at. Me, lying on a black leather divan, the epitome of misery, with Carlisle sitting at my side, probably still in his white lab coat. I could see it behind my closed eyelids. _"Dr. Freud at work"_ – a painting by the infamous artist _The old sadistic witch_ also known as _Destiny_.

Wow. These depressions seemed to have done wonders to my poor sense of humor…

"Derick, we are worried."

Big surprise. I knew that one already. Tell me something new.

"You've been here in your room for two entire weeks."

Okay. That one was new. It hadn't occurred to me that I had actually been here for such a short period of time. I would have guessed months or years.

"Please, talk to me, to us. We want to help. Please, allow us to help you, Derick." He was begging now. He was actually giving me a very hard time to ignore him. He sighed. "I'd like to say _I know what you're going through_, but the truth is, I don't. I really don't. And, to be honest, I can't quiet understand you at the moment." Now he was desperate. Great. "I saw Edward experiencing a similar situation. The conflict of falling in love with someone who rationally seen had to be out of your reach. Because she was different, pure, innocent. Because she obviously had deserved something better than this kind of existence with all its darkness and dangers."

That one caught me off guard. I had never imagined that Carlisle would think this way about our world. He always appeared to enjoy the life he had. But it seemed that he, too, was suffering over our fortune, our curse.

"But you see, it all worked out just fine for them, didn't it?" He waited, still hoping for a reply. The seconds ticked by. He continued. "Of course, you will think that this is different then at that time. You're not Edward. And Chime is not Bella. You are all so very different; surely, the situation is different, too. But that doesn't necessarily mean that the outcome has to be different, that the outcome has to be bad."

He put his hand on my arms that were crossed over my head, hiding my face. I felt the thin shield I had tried to build crumble beneath his gentle, reassuring touch. It was becoming physically painful to not get up and reply now.

"I know you're scared," he eventually said, his voice was against any imagination even more comforting now than before. "Anyone would be. I was scared, too, the first time I met Esme. It scared me, the feeling of recognition, of finally noticing that I had been against all assumptions completely incomplete. Finally understanding that I had been missing an essential part in my life without me even noticing. Suddenly everything that I had believed in, everything that I had known, were unimportant, were senseless. There was only her. She who I didn't know at all. Something new, something irrational. Finding her didn't seem to make any sense. I just couldn't understand why heaven would sent her in my life, why God would want to turn the whole world that I knew and had fought for upside down. It didn't seem fair."

He paused, but I knew that, this time, he wasn't waiting for a reply. He took a break to order his thoughts, to remember every single detail for me. "It didn't seem fair, that I obviously needed her so much. That every moment I spent without her, suddenly was wasted time. That I couldn't concentrate on anything no matter what I did, no matter where I was, no matter if she was around or not. When she was around, my concentration, my brain, seemed to puff into thin air." –he chuckled at that thought– "It frustrated me, made me angry. Angry with her and with myself. She was the whirlwind that destroyed my world and I was the idiot who just sat there and watched. But then, when the storm passed, I noticed, that the changes she brought where not as bad as I had always believed them to be. In fact, they were everything but bad. They never had been. All the time, it was only my persistent pessimism that made me think that I was in misery. Actually, I never had been luckier ever before. And then I finally confessed to myself that meeting her was the best thing that could have ever happened to me."

It was silent after Carlisle had ended. The entire house was unusually quiet. I couldn't hear the tiniest sound. Well, all except for Jacob's and Seth's soft snores. The sound was surprisingly soothing.

Carlisle didn't urge me to say something, neither did he leave my side. He kept sitting next to me, his hand still on my arm. Waiting…

"How couldn't I notice?" They were the first words I had said for two entire weeks. My voice sounded hoarse and raw.

"None of us noticed beforehand," he answered patiently. "Even Alice didn't. She saw Jasper in her vision and it was done. She fell in love with him and would never be able to do anything against it. Even if she wanted to."

I considered his words for a while, concluding that he was right. I had never thought of it that way. –Even Alice hadn't known beforehand. That was kind of comforting. "And what should I do next?" That was the big question. The question that had stopped me from going back to life the last two weeks.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. I could hear the soft smile in his voice. "But I'm sure, that you'll figure it out on your own. All you have to do is to get up and face the world."

I blinked my eyes open and looked up at the plain white ceiling. "And then?"

"And then" –he got up and stretched a hand toward me, inviting me to accept his help– "let nature do its job and one thing will follow the other on its own. Have faith, son."

I looked at his hand for a few seconds and then I took it, letting him help me to pull my stiff body off the divan.

"You should go hunting."

"Yeah, I should." I managed a small smile.

His smile grew even wider in return, if that was even possible.

Downstairs, I could hear Esme exhale long and relieved. "Sorry, Mom," I said sheepishly. If I had been able to blush, I certainly would have.

"Just make sure to never do something like that to me ever again, young man," she scolded me gently.

"I promise."

Edward then appeared in the doorway, grinning at me warmly. Elder brother to his younger one. "Ready for some mountain lions?" he winked.

I wrinkled my nose theatrically. "You know, I don't like them. Seriously, I can't understand why you are so obsessed with them."

He laughed.

I could hear Emmett inhaling downstairs, getting ready to add his two cents. But before he could say a single word, Alice appeared at the door. With quick steps, she passed Edward and walked up to Carlisle, her face a mask of agony. Edward stiffened when he heard her thoughts. "Carlisle," she said, her voice not louder than a whisper. It cracked at the end. "I-"

However, before she could tell him anymore, the shrill sound of a phone cut her off. She lifter her hand. Carlisle's silver business phone lay in her shaking palm. Carlisle threw Alice another confused look before he took the phone out of her hand and flipped it open.

"Hello?" he suddenly sounded insecure and extremely vulnerable. He was scared.

"Dr. Cullen?" it was the deep female voice of an elderly woman. "I'm sorry but we need you at the hospital. –Mr. Winds just arrived. He had a heart attack."

* * *

_hey guys! =)_

_sooo... this was one **HELL** of a chapter to write! . so depressing... I just can't do depressing - I'm not the kind of person who goes all depressing XD *happy little freak* -that's why there's plenty of sarcasm in this thing =) -oh, hail **sarcasm**!, what would I do without you? XD_

_I believe, that the **structure** of this chapter is a little confusing =) well, actually I never intended on doing it this way... I just started the chap with one word: "Silence." and for the following weeks no more words were added XD -then one day, I got the **glorious** idea of writing the chap as some kind of a song... that's the meaning of the constantly repeating part of "Silence. Heavy. Numb. Dead. ..." -it's the chorus of the "song" =)_

_yeah, I know, I'm fabulous! XDD *crazy chick*  
_

_as always: please, keep practicing your **patience** and don't forget to **review**! =)_

_-Mulan-  
_


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter16 –Fire****–**

Chime didn't come to school the next day.

Nor the next…

Or the next…

She didn't come the entire week.

Mr. Winds' funeral was on Friday.

"Chloe, I really think that we shouldn't go," I said for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last two days. "We would be just in the way."

"But she invited us," Chloe replied with the same words that she had been using for the last hundred times.

We had never argued with each other, and this first time was so weird and foreign for both of us that any outsider would have believed that we weren't arguing but practicing for a play.

"Mrs. Winds invited us," I said my line. "_Mrs. Winds_. Not Chime. –Do you notice the difference?"

"Yes, Mrs. Winds invited us," Chloe continued. "But she invited us for _Chime's_ sake. She wants us to be there for her daughter."

Now it was my turn to groan in annoyance and then speak again. I opened my mouth, inhaled, ready to say my lines. But Chloe startled me by interrupting me, changing our play. "Derick, her _father_ died," she said, her voice barely a whisper. The gold of her eyes melted like tears. "Her last bond is cut. She is completely alone now." Her voice broke at the end.

I needed two seconds to recover form this new information. "That might be true," I agreed reluctantly. I didn't like to improvise. "However, she still has her mother, doesn't she? I'm sure they can help each other in their grief just fine."

She didn't reply. Instead of that, she just looked at me with big, innocent, pure, sad eyes. I stared back at her, not able to pull my gaze off her. The disappointment on her face seemed to have immobilized me. She took a shaking breath and closed her eyes, turning her head away from me as if the mere sight of me made her sick.

I swallowed, wishing that I would have never seen her being so miserable.

So, there I sat then, on the Friday morning in Spanish, pretending to be listening to Mrs. Miller's monotonous voice, while trying hopelessly to tear my eyes off the clock hanging above the poster with irregular Spanish verbs.

Half past twelve. The funeral had just started. Chloe was probably standing next to a crying Mrs. Winds in the simple black dress Alice had picked out for her last night, her eyes like liquid honey with sadness and disappointment. Seth at her side, holding her hand for support.

In the end, it had only been me who refused to follow the invitation. Seth, of course went since Chloe wanted to go. Carlisle was present, as well. Mrs. Winds had invited him, since he had been the last doctor who had treated her husband and also the person who had helped her to overcome the first shock.

She hadn't understood the words at first, according to Carlisle's words. It had been written on her face, how the meaning of the message had slowly seeped into her mind. And then she had naturally burst into tears, which hadn't stopped, even after Carlisle had left her hours later.

Chime, however, had turned on her heels and left the hospital as soon as the news had been delivered. Not a single tear gracing her snow-white cheeks.

I almost jumped when my phone suddenly vibrated in my pocket.

Who the heck was calling me now? –Only my family members knew my phone number. But they were all more or less busy now. Unless-

Unless, there was an emergency.

"_Señor Wing_, where are you going?" Mrs. Miller wondered, her tone held a distinct touch of annoyance due to the unwelcome interruption.

"_Perdón,_ _señora_," I muttered half-heartedly and closed the door behind me.

Since the hallway was completely empty, I decided that there would be no need to go outside now to answer the call. So I took out the phone, finding Chloe's name flashing across the display.

I frowned. Why was Chloe –out of all people– calling me now?

I pressed the call button and held the phone to my ear. Before I could open my mouth to say "hi", Chloe's panicked voice silenced me.

"Derick! Where is Chime?"

I paused. "Who?"

"Chime!" she repeated impatiently. "Is she at school?"

"Why should she be at school?" I tried to reason. "It's her father's funeral now. Where else should she be than at her mother's side at his grave?"

"That is the question!" Chloe literally squeaked. I could almost feel all her worries seeping through the phones into my brain. "She is _not_ here!"

My eyes widened and I felt my mind go blank. "She- _What?_"

"Derick."

I jumped and then whirled around to find Alice looking up at me with deeply concerned eyes.

_What was wrong with all my sisters under five feet four inches__ today? Was it the "International-Midgets-freak-out -Derick-Day"?_

However, before I could through any of those rude thoughts at Alice, the bell ringed, shrill and dominant. I shut my mouth again, waiting for the annoying sound to stop and the herds of pubescent students to fill the hallways and disappear in the cafeteria for lunch.

But none of my expectations where fulfilled. –The doors didn't burst open immediately and the shrill ringing went on and on.

There was a second of stillness, a moment of shock when the sudden news seeped into everyone's mind, before realization finally hit home.

_Fire!_

"Please, stay calm!" I heard Mrs. Miller say, her voice was a few intervals higher with fear. "The ones sitting at the window; please close these! –Very well. And now we'll go out together and-"

Before Mrs. Miller could finish her sentence the door burst open and the students stormed outside like water out of a broken dam. Mrs. Miller was the last one to leave the classroom like the school law ordered her to. Her face was flushed and her eyes big with astonishment and fear.

"Mr. Wing! Miss Cullen!" she literally squeaked when she saw us standing motionlessly in the hallway. "Out, out! Quick! It's dangerous!" I let her usher us out of the building, my eyes not leaving Alice's. They were wide and empty, focusing on something in the distance, on something that hadn't happened yet.

Outside on the parking lot we met our other siblings, standing together in a loose circle, a few feet apart from the rest.

"What's going on?" Emmett asked first, his face unusually serious.

"Over there," Rosalie pointed out, nodding toward the western side of the school grounds. "There's smoke at the science building."

"How did that happen?" Jasper wondered.

"An accident during an experiment?" Bella suggested but she didn't seem to be convinced of her theory herself.

"Alice," Edward finally said and all of our eyes turned down to look at the smallest member of us. Edward frowned at something that Alice saw in her vision. "What does that mean?"

Silence. The endless chatter of the humans seemed to be like an annoying hum in the background.

Emmett, of course, was the first one to lose his patience. "C'mon!" he groaned. "You know I hate it when you're doing this. Fill us in!"

"It," Alice eventually began, her voice quiet but urgent. "It was an accident." She paused, her head cocked to the side and her mouth hung open in awe. "And it wasn't."

"What?" Rosalie said the question that we were all thinking. "What do you mean, it was and was not? Either it was an accident or it wasn't. It can't be both at the same time."

"It is," Alice insisted, her voice and the expression on her face showed that she didn't quiet believe it herself. "It's impossible. But it is. –There was no decision, it wasn't planned. It just… happened."

Without Edward's mind-reading ability, I could tell what every one of us was thinking now. _This doesn't make any sense._ But if Alice had seen it, then it had to be true. –Yes, you could fool Alice and manage to fall under her radar so she couldn't see you, but when she saw something, then it was automatically correct. Or at least that was what I –what all of us, Alice herself included– had always believed.

The chatter around us had grown quieter now, orderly.

"Jeremy Twell!"

"Here!"

"Hannah Ukley!"

"Here!"

"Tiffany Uston!"

"Here!"

"Chime Winds!"

Silence.

"Chime Winds!"

"Mr. Richardson, today is Mr. Winds' funeral."

"Oh, I see, then she's not here, of course. –Michael Wellington!"

I gasped, Chloe's words echoed in my head. _"She is not here!"_ –She was not at the funeral. But were else should she be?

Suddenly everything rushed back into my mind, all the things that had happened in the last months and weeks, flashed across my eyes like watching a movie on fast-forward.

–_She doesn't feel. –Chime's mother is desperate because there's no bond between them. –But then she stopped singing and with that her thoughts went silent. –I couldn't see anything. It was just dark, black, empty, like a black hole. –Maybe she has some kind of special gift like Bella who already was a great shield before her transformation. –Esme said, she might be a shield. But against all of us? Is something like that even possible? –There was no decision, it wasn't planned. It just… happened._

Impossible.

It made no sense.

It did make sense!

"Derick? Wait, we should talk about this," Edward tried to stop me but it was too late. I was running. Because there was no time to talk, no time to wait.

Windows, buildings, trees, humans – they all flew by in a blur. I was fast, faster than they could see, faster than I had ever run before. Running against time, trying to outrun the seconds that mercilessly ticked by.

The fire hadn't spread very much yet, the modern synthetics didn't burn that easily. However, they smoldered very heavily and the smoke itself was enough to kill. A window in the second story was open. Thick black smoke grew out of it, rising higher into the cloudy sky.

Taking a last deep breath, I jumped through the window.

The room was completely filled with smoke, any human would have lost all kinds of orientation and even with my vampire eyes, I could barely make out the outlines of tables and chairs. In one of the chairs in the last row sat a human figure, head lying on the table, face buried in raven-black hair. Next to her stood a Bunsen burner. It had toppled down, the flames licking hungrily against the pages of an empty exercise book.

I ignored the fire. That was the fire department's job and they were already on their way for sure. I jumped over the table, behind Chime's seat and turned her carefully to take her in my arms. She was unconscious and I wasn't so sure if I should feel lucky about that fact, since she probably would have thrown a fit if she were awake. Carefully, to not accidentally break any bones, I cradled her thin frame against my chest. Her pale white skin seemed to gleam in the darkness like snow.

_Stupid, stupid girl_, I thought. _And stupid, stupid me for falling for her._

I went back to the open window and jumped.

Outside, Bella and Edward were already awaiting me. Only after seeing them, I noticed, how relieved I was, that it wasn't Rosalie's furious stare that congratulated me for my courageous deployment first.

"Here, we have to take her to the entrance," Edward urged, leading the way.

"How is she?" Bella asked, a frown of concern lay between her eyebrows.

"According to circumstances, quiet good, I guess," I replied, fighting the panic in my voice. "She is unconscious, though."

At the entrance, I reluctantly put her down on the ground. Not being able to lay her face down on the hard pavement, I carefully leaned her against the doorframe, making it appear as if she had managed to stubble out of the building just to collapse outside. She looked so peaceful, her breath was deep and slow, her heartbeat was regular and strong. If it weren't for the faint black grime on her cheeks, I would have believed that she was sleeping. Like Snow White.

"Bella," Edward said softly and she nodded immediately, understanding.

She jumped to her feet and turned to run back toward the crowd at human speed. "Help!" she screamed, making every single person to turn his head toward her just like she wanted them to. "A girl collapsed in front of the science building! Someone has to call an ambulance!"

* * *

_hey guys! =)_

_woa! **two chaps in one month**! if that's no reason for a celebration! XD *party"_

_yeah, it feels good to have finished school =D it's kinda strange... so much freetime and nothing to do! no exam to learn for! no homeworks to be done! nothing! XD *party again*_

_sooo... here things are kinda getting worse and worse... well, we're about to reach the end of the **abysm** - and then we'll have to climb up all the way back... hooray! XD but first we have to reach the very bottom of the abysm... yes, we're still not there - everything still can get worse =) *evil*_

_pew~ that means a lot of **frustration** at finding the right depressing words and a lot of **patience** for you =)_

_in the mean time:** please review! =D**_

_-Mulan-  
_


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter17 –Discovery–**

It was true. Being in love made you stupid.

First of all, I rescued her out of a burning building, knowing very well that it would appear suspicious. By my selfish act, I had endangered my whole family.

And then I had even made a fuss about going to the hospital with Chime. Rosalie had opted for going straight home, the same thing that my brain told me. Or rather, the option that my brain _would_ have told me if it hadn't turned off itself.

So, now I was sitting on a cheap plastic chair in the hallway that led to the emergency room. It was uncomfortable, but even the softest couch in the world would have felt like needles against my skin now, I guessed.

Edward and Bella had accompanied me to the hospital, while the rest had went home. Neither one of them had said a single word so far, for which I was very grateful. Edward's reassuring hand laid on my shoulder, reminding me that I wasn't alone.

Five minutes later, Mrs. Winds arrived, Chloe, Seth and Carlisle behind her. The poor woman was a mess. Her eyes were red and puffy, her skin ghostly pale, her lips were swollen form all the chewing, her hands didn't seem to be able to stop trembling and her hair looked like she'd just taken a walk during a hurricane.

She looked exactly the way I felt.

Bella stood up to greet Mrs. Winds and to explain her and Carlisle what had happened.

Chloe didn't wait to listen. Her eyes were on me the moment she had walked into the bare sterile hallway. She stopped in front of me, kneeling down on the cold floor to look up and see my face. Without saying anything, she took my hands in hers. They seemed to be extremely large in her small ones. Her skin felt wonderfully warm and soft. I felt safe in those tiny little hands.

The door to the emergency room opened. Dr. Smith stepped out. The rings under his eyes showed that he was in serious need of a good night's sleep. "Carlisle," he said, obviously surprised to see his colleague. "You here?"

"Yes, George, we came straight from the funeral," Carlisle replied, his eyes shifting toward Mrs. Winds for a second before turning back to Dr. Smith, who nodded in understanding.

"Mrs. Winds?" he said gently, taking a few steps to stop in front of her.

"Yes?" she almost whispered, looking up at Dr. Smith with big teary eyes. Her voice seemed to be coming from somewhere far away, not the least bit connected to her body. Her face was strangely empty, as if she had just woken up after a long dream.

"Mrs. Winds, I'm relieved to tell you that your daughter Chime is not in any kind of danger anymore. Fortunately, she wasn't in the burning building very long so she didn't inhale too much of the poisonous smoke. She is sleeping now. I can reassure you, that she will be fine after a week of rest."

Mrs. Winds didn't say anything, she just broke out in tears of relief. Bella helped her into a chair, when she saw Mrs. Winds' knees giving out.

I exhaled the breath I had been unknowingly holding. Chloe's worried face broke into an encouraging smile. I couldn't help to smile back. Edward patted my shoulder.

"We will keep her at the hospital for a week. Just as a precaution," Dr. Smith continued. "There are a few medications which I know will help her recover more quickly. However, some of those might cause allergic reactions. –So, could you please tell me, what Chime's allergies are?"

Mrs. Winds' head snapped up, her face strangely blank and helpless again. "I-I don't know."

Edward gasped quietly under his breath.

"I'm sorry," Dr. Smith apologized quickly. "A lot happened. I can understand, that you can't remember something so trivial like this now. I will come and ask you an hour later."

"No," Mrs. Winds shook her head. "No, that's not it. I don't know. I really don't know." –her eyes dropped down to her lap guiltily– "She never told me, neither did Jonathan – her father. It just never came up. You see, I" –a nervous laugh– "I'm not Chime's mother. Not by birth. Her real mother died three years ago in a car accident. I'm just her stepmother."

It was perfectly silent.

My brain was completely blank, empty, thinking about nothing at all. Then, after the first second of shock, it kicked into full-speed. Pictures, memories of the last few weeks flashed past my mind, jumping up and down, demanding for my attention and then retreating without saying anything.

They said _everything_. –Her father's ice-blue eyes and her mother's Asian origins, her mother's raven-black hair, her mother's fine features, her mother's slim figure.

Not Karen's. They didn't look the least bit alike, they weren't the least bit connected. All her mother's. Her real mother's.

It made sense. Everything made sense now.

Her mother was dead, killed in a car accident.

_She only has three bonds – and two of these are cut._

Two – not only one, but two. Who was the second? Grandparent? Sibling?

Whoever it was. The third was definitely her father. The way she had behaved around him. She must truly love him. And now all three of these bonds were cut. Of course, she would develop stupid ideas of suicide. Who wouldn't?

_If someone really wishes to die, he should at least go somewhere where he doesn't disturb anyone else with his foolish act._

No, she didn't start the fire. I couldn't believe that she would act against her principles and endanger other people by her wish to die. Suicide, yes, but not in public. She seemed like the type of girl who would take a knife and then look for a deserted little corner or, like Bella, jump off a cliff. Definitely not involving innocents who might even think about stopping her.

I gulped. –I would have to keep a close watch on her for the next few days…

"Oh," Dr. Smith finally said, breaking the awkward silence. "I see. That makes things more… difficult. –Well, then we have to wait until Miss Winds wakes up and ask her herself."

"I'm sorry, that I can't help," Mrs. Winds sobbed. I knew how she felt now. I had felt that way, too, when the police officer had stood in our doorway, telling me that Mom was dead, killed in a car accident.

_Her real mother died three years ago in a car accident._

Yes, I knew, how she felt. I understood just too well.

"Please, Mrs. Winds, this is not your fault," Carlisle hurried to reassure her. "None of us would have even imagined that something like this might ever happen."

Not even Alice? I could see the confusion in his eyes. –Yes, not even Alice.

She had come to me, feeling that something was off, that something bad was going to happen. However, she, too, didn't know the what and why. Because Chime was involved, because Chime blocked her somehow, because she couldn't see her.

_There was no decision, it wasn't planned. It just… happened._

And then it clicked. And finally I had figured out the secret that was Chime Winds.

"She is asleep," Chloe whispered without looking up. There was no need for her to look up and see – the regular deep breaths that came from behind us sounded loudly in the silence.

Both of us could hear it, and both of us could hear the second set of lungs, inhaling and exhaling.

"They're both asleep," I corrected her, smiling.

This time she turned around to see Seth sunk down in the old armchair opposite to Karen –it was suddenly very weird to think of her as _Mrs. Winds_ now that I knew that she wasn't the original Mrs. Winds–, his head tilted back on the headrest and his mouth widely opened. He was snoring softly.

Chloe giggled. "Yes, they are."

Karen had insisted on staying the night at Chime's side and Chloe had –as the kind close friend– offered to keep her company. And since Chloe wanted to stay, Seth, of course, stayed, too.

So, here we were, in a sterile hospital room, five people, three of us passed out unconscious. If it weren't for the continuous beeping sounds of the different machines that were wired to Chime, one could mistake this gathering for a slumber party.

Vampires at a slumber party. That would be the first time in history, I guessed.

We had been here for hours now. Outside, night had replaced day for a long time already. Chloe was sitting at Chime's bed. She had been holding gingerly her hand ever since we had entered this room, as if they were glued to each other. I stood behind her, my eyes not leaving Chime's beautiful sleeping face for a second.

I didn't know why, but it seemed that all the events had worn her off so that the shield that had always protected Chime so securely had crumbled, disappeared, leaving her unprotected for anyone to see.

Chloe hadn't much to see though. Three bonds – all three of these cut. The only and dearest people in her life were dead, gone to a place no one knew.

Edward and Jasper both were not here for me to ask them whether their gifts worked on her now. Alice, however, had called just at the very moment when I had taken out my phone to ask her what would be happening next. I had never been so eager to know the future, to know all the bad things that were waiting to jump me, so that I could stop them before they even had the chance to prepare to jump. I had had enough of surprises.

Of course, this was the only time when Alice was "blind".

"I'm sorry, Derick," she had said before I could form a greeting. "I can't see anything. It's all a blurry mess. She hasn't decided yet."

Surprisingly, against all expectations, I was able to see through her shield now. The wish was strong but not "bright". The light she was raying was a dark blue, cold just like her eyes. Its strength didn't lay within _desire_ but within _desperation_. She wanted this wish to come true so badly, not because it would make her happy but because she didn't know how else to become happy. That was just so sad …

"Derick," Chloe whispered. Her thin eyebrows were knit in concern. She knew me so well that she didn't even need Jasper's gift to know how I felt.

When she took my hand in hers –her other hand still holding Chime's– just like she had done a few hours ago, I let out a shaky breath. "Thank you," I whispered back, managing a small smile.

To Mrs. Winds, Chloe was here as Chime's only close friend. In reality, however, I knew that the only reason for Chloe being here was that I wanted to be here. It would have appeared inappropriate if I had asked to stay with Chime. So, instead of being the lovesick teenage boy, I was here as the protective older brother. Officially, at least.

This made me feel bad. Like some kind of crazy stalker who was dangerous for anyone's safety.

_Which is true_, the empiric part of me said. _You are a vampire. Of course, you are dangerous._

_But not for her!_, the stubborn part of me spat back, kicking the empiric part's butt for good measure. _She is totally different! We can't even smell her!_

Yes, that was also a new discovery. None of us had noticed before, everyone completely focused on her other abnormalities. She didn't smell, her body had no scent at all, perfectly invisible again. Only when I concentrated on her, I could make out the faint smell of Forget-me-nots. So, in contrast to Edward, I didn't have to deal with the good old blood-problem. Which was a great relief. –Seriously, I had enough problems to deal with.

Seth grunted in his sleep. Neither one of us paid him any attention and surely neither Chloe nor me –especially not me– would have expected Seth to move so much in his sleep and fall off the armchair. With a loud thud, he landed on the cold synthetic floor.

"I didn't eat the last cookie, Jake, I swear!" he shouted, paddling with his long arms in the air.

"Seth!" Chloe gasped, jumping to her feet to help him get up. She threw Mrs. Winds a quick glance, sighing in relief, when the woman just turned around without waking up.

Seth's eyes flew open at her cool touch. "Chloe?" –his head spun from right to left and back again frantically– "Chloe, angel, where are we?"

"We are in the hospital, Seth," she informed him, stroking his hair gently as if she were soothing a frightened animal.

Seth took in the room for a second time, this time more slowly and calmly, his eyes growing bigger in realization. "Oh, right, Chime, I remember," he finally replied in awe.

"That is wonderful, Seth," Chloe commented, obviously suppressing a giggle. "Did you get hurt anywhere?"

He turned his eyes back at her. "Why should I be hurt?"

"You fell off the armchair," she answered, slowly, emphasizing each single word. All humor gone now. Chloe didn't kid with Seth's well-being which was totally unnecessary. If she asked me, I would have suggested her to rather take a closer look at the floor.

"No, I'm fine, angel," Seth smiled and she smiled automatically back in return.

Esme's voice echoed in my head –_"__Aw, look! Aren't they adorable?__" _–and I couldn't help but smile at the scene in front of me.

There probably had never been a couple like Chloe and Seth. The love they radiated was so strong that even a blind could see it.

I gulped and turned my gaze back to Chime's emotionless face.

Unlike Chime and me. The thing between us couldn't be even named as love, if it had a name at all. According to Chloe, she didn't even felt the urge to build any relationship toward me, let alone love.

"Be patient, Derick," Chloe had told me earlier. "She just lost the last precious person in her life. She needs time to heal and recover. All will come in due time. So wait."

Wait. I had already waited over one hundred thirty years for her to appear in my life. One should assume that a few days or weeks more wouldn't matter that much. And that was also what I was telling me all the time. It didn't work though. Each minute –each second– was pure agony, was like a knife boring into my heart, making it hard to breathe, hard to not scream out in frustration.

This was so unfair. Carlisle and Esme, Rosalie and Emmett, Alice and Jasper, Jacob and Nessie, Chloe and Seth, Edward and Bella. –All of them had struggled, all of them had had their own battle to fight, their own barrier to resolve. But they all seemed to pale in comparison to the conflict that I was struggling with. I knew that this was not correct of me to state but I just couldn't help it, couldn't stop the voice that persistently claimed that this bold statement was true indeed. To defend this thesis it only had one argument, one argument that I didn't seem to be able to chase out of my mind anymore.

_They had known that they were loved by the one they loved at least._

I pressed my lips together, trying to distract myself by counting Chime's steady heartbeats. I had only reached number three hundred ninety four when I was interrupted by Chloe's soft pleading voice.

"Derick, I don't think that Seth can sleep any longer in that tiny armchair. I can't even _see_ it under his huge body," she said, pulling my attention toward the direction where the soft snoring had started again. She was right. That poor armchair was literally buried under Seth's giant form. And he was moving dangerously toward the edge again.

I fought the urge to rub my hand against my forehead, when I realized what this meant. "You should take him home, Chloe," I magically managed to keep my voice steady.

Her head snapped up at my words, her eyes gleaming with gratitude. "Oh, Derick, would that be okay with you?"

"Sure, I'm fine," I replied, even mastering a small smile. That was a big fat lie. I didn't want to be alone. Alone was dangerous. Alone meant nothing to do but thinking and I was afraid of the path my thoughts could possibly take me. But I hid my fears because it wouldn't be fair to force them to stay and suffer with me. "You should act quickly, though," I joked. "I don't think, that the hospital has that much money to add a new armchair on their long things-that-are-needed-list."

She giggled. "Yeah, I guess, you're right." –she got up, pulling her cell-phone out of her pocket– "I'll call at home and ask someone to pick us up."

I nodded and she was out the room.

This was going to be a very long night.

Chime woke up the next morning. Although, this relieved me extremely, I soon had to admit that the improvements from Chime-asleep to Chime-awake weren't very big.

She didn't speak. Not to anyone. She just lay there and stared at the ceiling with empty eyes. Dr. Smith assured Mrs. Winds that it was probably the shock. He suggested her to give Chime something to abstract her. Since talking wouldn't work, maybe a favorite book or favorite music could help.

And that is how I got to enter Chime's room.

I had to take Karen home. She had walked to the funeral and had been taken to the hospital by Carlisle because she hadn't felt to be able to drive after everything that had happened in the last few days.

She invited me to follow her into the house, asking me to help her choosing a nice collection for Chime. I only agreed out of pure courtesy, feeling another stab in my chest. I had no idea what Chime liked and didn't like, I didn't know her at all.

Karen led me upstairs. "Chime's room is the last one on the left," she told me, her voice strangely edgy. The nearer we came to the door, the slower became her pace. She acted like a little child, tiptoeing into the kitchen to steal a spoonful of tonight's dessert. Carefully, she cracked the door open as if there was some hungry lion awaiting for her behind the simple oak wood door.

Even without Edward's mind-reading abilities, I immediately could tell that she had never seen Chime's room before in her life. The gasp, that escaped her mouth after the door had completely swung open, was more than clear. "Um, I need to change into something else," she stuttered uncomfortably. "Maybe, you go look for something for her, Derick? I'm not sure what you kids like now." And she was stumbling back into the hallway, closing the door behind her.

I moved slowly into the middle of the room, turning around myself, taking everything in. I didn't know what exactly I had imagined Chime's room to look like or if I had imagined anything at all. But about one thing I was sure.

Not like this.

Chime's room was extremely tidy, too tidy, as if no one had ever lived in it. Except for a bed, a desk, a closet and a few shelves the room was completely empty. There was nothing on the shelves, no books, no DVDs, no old teddy bears – anything that any normal girl's room would hold-

Nothing.

Packing boxes stood in front of those empty shelves. None of them was open. There were two boxes at the closet. One of the doors was opened, showing neatly folded clothes, some of these I recognized. It seemed that only the clothes that she frequently wore had made it into the closet, the others were probably still lying in their closed boxes.

On her desk stood a laptop but it obviously was barely used. The price label was still glued to one corner. Next to the laptop stood an old CD-player with only one empty jewel case.

Curiously, I walked nearer to take a closer look.

In the jewel case was a picture instead of a cover. It was not something professionally made, only common printing paper. The faces were a little blurry due to the simple home printer and the colors had paled in the sun.

However, even without my sharp vampire eyes I could make out Mr. Winds' shiny blue eyes and his dark blond hair. He obviously had been younger when the picture had been taken. His forehead was clean of all crinkles and his hair was thicker, too. The greatest difference, though, was his smile. It held much more life and happiness than the one that I had seen a few weeks ago.

He had slung his arm around a woman around his age. They were sitting together on an old-fashioned beige couch. Her raven black hair was pulled back into a loose bun; a few strands had escaped and were now framing her heart-shaped face. Her brilliant smile filled her entire face, turning her eyes into crescents.

If you imagined her hair falling openly over her shoulders and exchanged her dark brown eyes with bright blue ones, it was crystal clear who this woman was.

The original Mrs. Winds. –Chime's mother.

And there, sitting at her parents feet, sat Chime herself, smiling from one ear to the other, showing the metal wires of a retainer. Her smile was so genuine and bright, that I could feel the happiness seeping through the picture directly into my heart.

My eyes seemed to be glued to her face, not able to move on. I literally sucked in her face, her eyes, her smile, the flow of her hair-

It stopped. Everything stopped, paused in that moment.

_She only has three bonds – and two of these are cut._

The third bond, her third precious person that she had lost – her last secret.

Leaning against Chime's shoulder, sat another girl. She was holding a small children violin in her arms as if it were the most valuable object in the world. Her raven black hair flowed over her shoulders just like Chime's and her bright blue eyes gleamed in her heart-shaped face just the way Chime's did.

Just like Chime.

That girl was exactly like Chime. Like the reflection of a mirror, a clone, a twin.

The third and final bond belonged to Chime's sister. –Her _twin_ sister.

On the very top of the picture, someone had written in a glittering red color in a girlish handwriting the words, _"Christmas Album – by Chime and Melody (2088)"_.

* * *

_hey guys =)_

_okay... this chapter took long again - though, this time not long to write but to update xD I just couldn't make my lazy butt move downstairs to our old computer with the correcting programm to let it run over the text xD_

_This chapter was difficult to wirte but also fun =D thanks to Chloe and Seth - that part was definitely the easiest part to write xD_

_the next chapter will take some time again, I guess... cause I have to translate loooooots~ of songs *sigh* - and the weather is soooo sweltry at the moment... I can't make myself do anything at all! xD *lame excuse*_

_well, I'll try to do my best =)_

_Don't forget to review! ^^_

_-Mulan-_


	19. Chapter 18

_first of all, I'll tell you the original titles and band names before you start reading, so you can** listen to the songs while reading** =)  
_

1. Silbermond: "Bist du dabei"

2. Christina Stürmer: "Ein Leben lang"

3. Juli: "Warum"

4. Christina Stürmer: "Nie Genug"

5. Wir sind Helden: "Müssen nur wollen"

6. Juli: "Elektrisches Gefühl"

7. Christina Stürmer: "So wie ich bin"

8. Wir sind Helden: "Denkmal"

9. Christina Stürmer: "Mama Ana Ahabak"

10. Silbermond: "Irgendwas Bleibt"

11. Juli: "Geile Zeit"

12. Wir sind Helden: "23.55 - Alles auf Anfang"

* * *

**Chapter18 –Speechless–**

_Christmas Album_

_for Mom and Dad_

_vocals by Chime Winds_

_lyrics and sound by Melody Winds_

_–The reason why our music is so awesome lies within your love–_

…

_1. Are You With Me (3:51)_

You see the word turning quietly

Your venes are all bursting with energy

You have dreamt of it all the time and still not tried

And now warm wind wipes against your face

Beneath you just clouds – d'you know the taste?

If you break down the walls, you're falling free

Are you with me?

Are you with me!

Up here the world seemes so peaceful and

As if all bad things had found their end

Makes you believe that all is in perfect harmony

Up here all ill thoughts are blown away

There's just no place for them to stay

You devide the space and fly and fall freely

Are you with me?

Are you with me!

Come on stand up, fight your fears off

I know your courage will catch you

And it will free you off time and space

Look all flies for you and then

The parachute opens

All is silent, see

All rests in me

And if I now had one wish free

Maybe you could alsways stay with me

Are you with me?

Are you with me!

All is free

No time, no space

All is free

Are you with me?

Are you with me!

…

_2. For All Your Life (3:17)_

No one besides you has to be standing on your side

What you truly want is just for you to decide

They're always telling you what would be the best

As if they'd really know you, causing such a mess

Take care of your dreams, they're only yours alone

And don't let them take over, don't let yourself be thrown

This life here is just for you

This life here is yours

So make good use

Where ever it stops and where it began

It lies all within your hand

It's theri point of view that will always make me frown

I know my way is different though the future is unkown

Let's not always do what they say is allowed

Cause it's time to think alone now

Time to scream out loud

This life here is just for you

This life here is yours

So make good use

Where ever it stops and where it began

It is yours for all your life

This life here is just for you

This life here is yours

So make good use

Til the very last minute

Ever since it began

It lies all within your hand

When you don't watch out

It might simply

Vanish like the wind

And when you then cry out

It will be too late

And no one will take a hint

This life here is just for you

This life here is yours

So make good use

Where ever it stops and where it began

It lies all within your hand

Our life is here and now

Our life is everything

There is no doubt

Til the very last minute

Ever since it began

It lies all within our hand

Our life is here and now

For all your life – one life

Here and now

This life here is just for you

…

_3. Why (3:46)_

You ask me thousand questions

Facing fearlessly the wind

And I hope you see

That they are unimportant

Come let's set sails to the stars

Take whatever we can take

Never turn around

Even if the earth might shake

Hey, I hear your happy laughter

And I fell how it touches my heart

Yeah, I love these days that begin

Every mornin' with a new start

And I look into your eyes

They're shining like the stars

Come, take my hand

The sky is not that far

The world around us keeps quiet

Say why, say why, why doesn't matter at all

Cause here tonight we are all that matters

Say why, say why, why doesn't matter at all

Why doesn't matter now

We look over the roof tops

I write your name into the night

Hey, we don't even need words

Cause we fell that everything's right

Seconds melt into hours and days

And although it sounds crazy

But when time grows rough

We'll turn back time easily

And the world around us keeps quiet

Say why, say why, why doesn't matter at all

Cause here tonight we are all that matters

Say why, say why, why doesn't matter at all

Why doesn't matter now

Why doesn't matter at all

Stay with me

You look at me

Your are me

Stay with me

You look at me

We are complete

Say why, say why, why doesn't matter at all

Cause here tonight we are all that matters

Say why, say why, why doesn't matter at all

Why doesn't matter now

Say why, say why, why doesn't matter at all

Cause here tonight we are all that matters

Say why, say why, why doesn't matter at all

Why doesn't matter now

Why doesn't matter at all

…

_4. Never Enough (3:31)_

I live in the here an now

I can't get enough

Don't ask for the where and when

It is summer, man

How fast does earth turn around

For me not fast enough

Just watching is not fair

That is crystal clear

I never will give in

I push and keep pushing

I'll just stay the way I am

I never get enough of living

I never get enough

There still is more

I don't take things half, want everthing at once

Won't wait til something happens

I never get enough of living

I never get enough

Are you with me

I will risk it all

Only win, never lose

Always more, always more, always more

I look for my paradise

Where the sun never sets

How perfect one day can be

Life now smiles at me

Others can be satisfied

Won't happen to me

I never think "maybe"

I just do and see

I never will give in

I push and keep pushing

I'll just stay the way I am

I never get enough of living

I never get enough

There still is more

I don't take things half, want everthing at once

Won't wait til something happens

I never get enough of living

I never get enough

Are you with me

I will risk it all

Only win, never lose

Always more, always more, always more

I want to see it all

Chill out

I can still

Sometime

In my next life

Can't get myself at times

But this just stays

For a moment, then I say

I never get enough of living

I never get enough

There still is more

I don't take things half, want everthing at once

Won't wait til something happens

I never get enough

I never get enough

I will risk it all

Only win, never lose

Always more, always more, always more

I never get enough of living

I never get enough

There still is more

I don't take things half, want everthing at once

Won't wait til something happens

I never get enough

…

_5. Only Must Want (3:36)_

Only must want

We only must want

We only must want

We only must

Only must want

We only must want

We only must want

We only must

Must I always do whatever I could do

A hand bears the world and the other offers finger food

I can stand with all ten feet in twenty doors

And dance with the eleventh in the moors

But if I could as I want, I will want nothing at all

I know, however, that we should want more than we shall

We master any jape

Just like the blunt

Performing apes

We only must want

We only must want

We only must want

We only must want

We only must

Only must

Only must

Only must

Must I always do whatever I could do

A hand reachs for the stars and the other cleaning the front man's shoe

This is the country of limited impossibilities

We can ride legless horses in the cities

We an widen all constrictions with percussion drills and ease

Can lead concerns and still be perfectly happy

We master any jape

Just like the blunt

Performing apes

We only must want

We only must want

We only must want

We only must want

We only must want

We only must

Only must

Only must

We only must

We master any jape

Just like the blunt

Performing apes

We master any jape

Just like the blunt

Performing apes

We only must want

We only must want

We only must want

We only must want

We only must

Only must

Only must

We only must

Only must want

We only must want

We only must want

We only must

We only must want

We only must want

We only must want

We only must want

Only must

Only must

Only must

Only must

Only must

…

_6. Electrifying Sense (3:44)_

Breathless and remote-controlled

I am numb and full of fear

I am totally beside me

I can't see myself clear

I'll jump out of 15 metres

In the ocean I dive

So I can see again

That I am still alive

I go on and on til the edge

I feel my heart beating

I breathe in and let me fall

There's no word for this feeling

Electrifying sense

I feel no gravity

Electrifying sense

Like my very first breath

Electrifying sense

I hear a voice that always say

This will be a perfect day

This will be a perfect day

Though I suffer thousand worries

They all try to pull me down

It is better to let it go

Than let them break you down

I look at all my fears now

And I write them on a sheet

I ignite it and let it burn

I leave it behind me

Everything here is so bright

I feel no more pain

The floor, the walls, the room vibrates

I feel alive again

Electrifying sense

I feel no gravity

Electrifying sense

Like my very first breath

Electrifying sense

I hear a voice that always say

This will be a perfect day

This will be a perfect day

Everything that pulls you down

Everything that stops your heart

Let it go

Let it go

Let it go

Everything that's invaluable

Everything that's incorrect

Let it go

Let it go

Let it go

Electrifying sense

I feel no gravity

Electrifying sense

Like my very first breath

Electrifying sense

I hear a voice that always say

This will be a perfect day

This will be a perfect day

…

_7. The Way I Am (3:06)_

Why should I not be myself

Why should I live a lie

When I do know in my heart

What I want from life

I won't be someone else

Wake up and look at me

Now open up your eyes

Don't you want to see

Let me stay just the way I am

Don't ask for the sense

It's just how things are meant

Let me stay just the way I am

I will never change

I'll break out of any cage

Don't care if it's not right

Do only what I like

And stay the way I am

Why should I be trusting you

Everything you do

Do you actually believe

That you can change me

I won't be someone else

Wake up and look at me

Now open up your eyes

Don't you want to see

Let me stay just the way I am

Don't ask for the sense

It's just how things are meant

Let me stay just the way I am

I will never change

I'll break out of any cage

Don't care if it's not right

Do only what I like

And stay the way I am

You look at illusions

I stand up and look beyond

Now stop all these discussions

They'll just destroy our bond

Let me stay just the way I am

Don't ask for the sense

It's just how things are meant

Let me stay just the way I am

I will never change

I'll break out of any cage

Don't care if it's not right

Do only what I like

And stay the way I am

…

_8. Memorial (3:18)_

Come to the window, come to my side

D'you see over there behind the electric fence

Over there in front of Wal-Mart they engraved

Our copy into stone

Come on the street, come to my side

Everywhere flowers and confetti, all screwed up

Seems like last night they revealed without us

Our memorial

Go get the sledgehammer

They truly built a memorial for us

And any dipshit knows

What chaos to love that does

I'm going to call the worst

Taggers here in town

Tell them scrawl the ruins

With tags up and down

Come on get up now, come to my side

It's getting dark and we don't have much time left

If now we get caught, we will be forever united

In stone and happiness

Go get the sledgehammer

They truly built a memorial for us

And any dipshit knows

What chaos to love that does

I'm going to call the worst

Taggers here in town

Tell them scrawl the ruins

With tags up and down

D'you see the carvings down there at the feet

There stands in big golden letters we shall rest in peace

Go get the sledgehammer

They truly built a memorial for us

And any dipshit knows

What chaos to love that does

I'm going to call the worst

Taggers here in town

Tell them scrawl the ruins

With tags up and down

They truly built a memorial for us

And any dipshit knows

What chaos to love that does

I'm going to call the worst

Taggers here in town

Tell them scrawl the ruins

With tags up and down

…

_9. Momma Ana Ahabak (4:00)_

Momma tell me what'd you mean

Why is it here so dark outside?

Momma tell me why do you cry

Don't be so sad, I will be nice

Are those shooting stars up there?

What just flew across the air?

Why do I feel so cold here?

Why is your heart beating so fast?

What's that light from over there?

When will the thunder finally pass?

Momma ana ahabak

Momma I love you

Momma ana ahabak

Come and take me in your arms

Momma which way should we go

Please let's go home now it is so late

Momma why'd you fall to you knees

Please tell me why we need to pray

Stop pulling at my hand

Why do you press me to the wall?

Why won't the lights go on again?

I cannot see anymore

Why do we have to stand in the dark?

Why can't we go home and shut the door?

Momma ana ahabak

Momma I love you

Momma ana ahabak

Come and take me in your arms

Momma ana ahabak

I can't see the stars at night

Momma ana ahabak

Your face is my only light

Can you tell me where we are?

Where are those people heading to?

Tell me is home still far away?

Why aren't you talking anymore?

Where is the light in your eyes?

Is this because of me?

I'm so sorry…

Momma ana ahabak

Momma I love you

Momma ana ahabak

Come and take me in your arms

Momma ana ahabak

And when night fills the sky

Momma ana ahabak

The stars do not shine

Your smile is my only light

Please stay here at my side

…

_10. Something Right (3:02)_

Tell me that this place here is quiet and safe

and all the good things gonna stay

and that the promise you give me today

tomorrow will remain the same

This world is fast

and forgot to pause and see everything

'cause temptations are impatient and won't wait

But promise me the day I'm back again

all will be like it had been

Give me a tiny little bit of light

in a sad world where the stars do not shine

Give me in these darkest times… something that's right

Just give me something that will stop me cry

and pretend for me that the sky is bright

Save me from these rushing times

Tell me that everything will be fine

Give me something – anything that's right

Even if the world is sick and weird

this moment will stay here

forever near

Give me a tiny little bit of light

in a sad world where the stars do not shine

Give me in these darkest times… something that's right

Just give me something that will stop me cry

and pretend for me that the sky is bright

Save me from these rushing times

Tell me that everything will be fine

Give me something – anything that's right

…

_11. Awesome Time (3:36)_

Did you believe, did you hope, that all will be okay?

Did you cry, did you beg cause all is movin' away?

Where is the time, where is the sea?

It's gone

It's gone now, you ask me, where did it go away?

Nights are coming, the days will leave

It's turning 'round and 'round

Can't you see the broken fragments

That you are walking on?

Where's the light, where's your star?

It's gone

It's gone now, you ask me, when did it go away?

Is it all changing?

Is it all changing?

Is it all changing?

Yeah, I know, it was an awesome time

No distance was too wide

I miss you

Yeah, I know, it was an awesome time

So forgive me please

All has to cease

All has to cease

All has to cease

You want to go, you want to leave, you want to turn back time

You're breathin' in, you're breathin' out, but it all just won't change

Where's the night, where's the way?

How far

How far still, you ask me, where we've been all the while

Is it all changing?

Is it all changing?

Is it all changing?

Yeah, I know, it was an awesome time

No distance was too wide

I miss you

Yeah, I know, it was an awesome time

So forgive me please

Yeah, I know, it was an awesome time

So forgive me please

The lights are all off, it's hard to conceive

You helplessly watch how time turns to leave

You look at your star, it's save from all thieves

Cause you know it was awesome, it was awesome

Cause you know it was awesome

Yeah, I know, it was an awesome time

No distance was too wide

I miss you

Yeah, I know, it was an awesome time

So forgive me please

Yeah, I know, it was an awesome time

So forgive me please

All has to cease

All has to cease

All has to cease

All has to cease

All has to cease

…

_12. 23:55 – All Back To Beginning (3:13)_

You're born without and even weighed without any teeth

You'll get them pulled out before you can turn twenty

You're oh so shrinking, disheartened and nailed up cause

No light reaches you, so you're wasted that you can't see

The things taht pull you down

Are your empty hands and

The reason why you're cold

Is cause you're not movin'

You call it weltschmerz

I call it way of thinkin'

It is just five to twelve

And you're already sleepin'

You say: "No end to be seen"

We say: "Five to twelve, all back to beginning"

You say: "No end to be seen"

We say: "Five to twelve, all back to beginning"

Take your teeth, put them under your pillow and

And tell the fairy that you want her to show you why

Why does your heart always sink in your heavy legs and

Why you can't see a thing, not where all ways end

The things that burden you

Are all those big fat lies that

They always throw at you

They'd stop if you just said

But if that alone will word

We will have to see then

Whether the meek mini people

Can be monstrously loud and shout

You say: "No end to be seen"

We say: "Five to twelve, all back to beginning"

You say: "No end to be seen"

We say: "Five to twelve, all back to beginning"

You say: "No end to be seen"

We say: "Five to twelve, all back to beginning"

You say: "No end to be seen"

We say: "Five to twelve, all back to beginning"

Who says "A" also must say "B"

Ask for the entire ABC

Who says "Oh" also must say "No"

Who says "Yes" also says "Maybe"

Do you feel courage-less

Take courage now, go

Do you feel helpless

Run out and help, go

Do you feel strengthless

Gather strength, now go

Do you feel anchorless

Find an anchor and let go

You say: "No end to be seen"

We say: "Five to twelve, all back to beginning"

You say: "No end to be seen"

We say: "Five to twelve, all back to beginning"

You say: "No end to be seen"

We say: "Five to twelve, all back to beginning"

You say: "No end to be seen"

We say: "Five to twelve, all back to beginning"

You say: "No end to be seen"

We say: "Five to twelve, all back to beginning"

You say: "No end to be seen"

We say: "Four to twelve, all back to beginning"

You say: "No end to be seen"

We say: "Three to twelve, all back to beginning"

You say: "No end to be seen"

We say: "Two, one, now it's twelve"

… … Speechless.

* * *

_hey guys!_

_Good news: I'm still alive! xD_

_well, I think, you can see why I took so long to update this time (though I always take awefully long to update... xD)_

_it was nerve-racking to translate all those **12 songs**! (well, "only" 10 since 2 of them where already finished, cause I needed them for previous chapters ^^) -but still... ugh!_

_I still can't believe that I'd actually done it! xD *crazy* really, what was I thinking?_

_well, since the **"Night Galery" still won't work properly** I can't give you the word-to-word-translation... . arg, it keeps freaking me out again and again!_

_can't be helped, I guess... *sigh*_

**_see you (hopefully soon) again - and don't forget to review! =)_**

_-Mulan-  
_


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter19 –Next Step–**

My first reaction to Chime's CD was astonishment.

I couldn't believe that this ... this masterpiece of music was written and performed by two thriteen-year-old kids.

My second reaction was amazement.

Because this _was_ Chime's voice throughout all those twelve songs and the background music _did_ sound a little raw and unprofessional. But still it was a masterpiece. The music – so light and strong, so fierce and energetic, so insistend and full of life. And the lyrics – so fresh and innocent, so daring and deep, so provoking and refreshing. Everything perfectly balanced, creating wonderful harmony.

Listening to the CD made me float on some kind of high so I only noticed the obvious problem when Alice literally burst through my door with it.

"What are you going to do now?" she practically screamed at me before she had completely crossed my door step. I almost fell off my divan. Seriously, had that girl ever heard of privacy?

"Do what?" I asked her back, irritated, getting up to turn off the music.

Instead of replying, her arm shot up, pointing at Chime's jewel case. Realization didn't dawn on me, no, it slapped right across my face. I opened my mouth to respond, then closed it and then opened it again. I must have looked like a goldfish in a bowl.

Alice got impatient. "So?" she prompted, cocking her head in a crazy way that only Alice could master.

Luckily, Edward decided to come to my rescue. "Alice, please, calm down. You're not trying to make him confess to a crime, are you?"

She sank her arm but kept her piercing eyes fixed on me. "Well, considering the fact, that he took Chime's CD without her permission ..." –I gulped– "But that's totally irrelevant now. The only important point here is, what you" –she almost stabbed me with her forefinger– "are going to do with all this newly discovered information."

Well, how much Alice was freaking me out at that very moment, I had to admit that this was a good question indeed.

Now, at last, I knew the history behind Chime Winds; knew the reason for her ice-queen-attitude, knew why she acted so distant to any people who tried to crack her shield. There was even a word for that. –Traumatized. She was traumatized. Who wouldn't be, after losing all the people you loved? Trust me, I knew what I was talking about ...

But this discovery didn't solve my current problem. What should be my next step? How should I confront Chime with this knowledge? Should I talk to her about it at all? What would happen if I did? And what if I didn't?

"Aw ..." Alice stopped my track of thoughts with a pitiful groan. "Derick, please, I can understand that this is not a decision you make in a blink." –she groaned again, rubbing her temples with her fingertips– "But could you at least _try_ to be less ... undetermined?"

That comment almost made me laugh. Only "almost" though, and it would have been a very nervous and hysterical laughter. So, "almost" was good.

"Sorry, Alice," I said instead. "This is all very confusing, you see. I ... I never would have imagined that something like this could ever happen to me." And then any thought or worry that had been rushing through my head disappeared and my head went completely blank. Blank with fear. Because I _had_ never thought about something like this and I _had_ never experienced a situation like this, which is why I was totally overstrained with all this mess. And all odds where hinting at a very, very bad result. This was way too big for me.

"Um, Alice?" a small part of my brain, that was not completely soaked in cold sweat, heard Edward talking. "I think, it would be better if only I speak with him."

My mind raced, going through hundreds of thoughts at the same time, playing out various scenarious, discarding all the ideas it came up with, because they all ended the same way.

Losing Chime.

And during the entire process, one sentence –three words– kept echoing in the background, pounding in my head like an open wound, hot and persistent.

_What to do ... what to do ... what to do ..._

I tried to turn it off, to ignore it, to drown it out –_There__had__to__be__a__way!_–, it didn't work.

"Derick," Edward literally shock me out of my thoughts by gripping my shoulders and shaking me with a good amount of strength.

I blinked, my eyes focusing on his concerned face and I wondered for how long I had been in "Misery-topia". Once was for sure, I had been gone pretty far, because I could swear that I hadn't been sitting on the divan when I had taken off – no, I had been standing over there at the hi-fi-system, turning it off ...

"Derick, relax," Edwrad said in a soothing but determined tone. "Your thoughts are going rampage in your head. I can't understand a thing and surely it isn't helping you, either."

I followed his advice and took a deep breath to calm down. It wasn't helping though. My vampire brain didn't need oxygen. It needed solutions. Now.

"Derick, stop!" Edward shook my shoulders again before I could drift to "Misery-topia" again. And according to the expression on his face, he was ready to do more than just shaking me if necessary. "Panic is not helping you," he continued in his controlled voice, emphasizing each single word for me.

Yeah, so close from slapping me. Well, I wouldn't be angry with him if he caved in temptation.

"Thanks, but I won't slap you," he promised, sounding less serious now after noticing that my brain still had free space for humor, even though it was black humor.

"It might help though," I offered. "I somehow feel that it will help."

Now he was chuckling. "Maybe you should ask Emmett later when you still feel like it. I'm sure he'd be too happy to ... um ... lend you a hand."

Loud guffaws sounded from downstairs and could even be heard through the perfect sound-proof walls of my room. "You can count on me, bro!"

I sighed. "Guess, I should have kept my mouth shut"

"With Emmett, less is always more," Edward agreed and shrugged.

Eventually, Emmett's boomin laughter ebbed away, making space for silence. Dead, deafening silence, laced with worries and fear.

"It is not that bad, you know," Edward fortunately broke the curse with his soft reassuring voice. "It is ... difficult, I admit, but not actually bad."

I groaned, burying my face into my hands. "I practically stole– no, I _did_ steal her seemingly most precious possession, Edward. I've lived for a hundred and thirty one years now and I've never stolen-" –I paused– "Oh, well, clothes a few times, but that was different. I hadn't done that because I'd wanted but seriously _needed_ those. Even as a vampire –especially as a vampire– you can't walk down the streets naked." I then noticed that I was babbling, so I quickly shut my mouth, preventing it from doing anything more stupid.

I wasn't looking at him, but by listening to his voice, I could tell that he was trying to suppress the urge to laugh. "Well, that's true, I guess. But maybe you needed this, too."

My head snapped up, staring at Edward in confusion. "That's ridiculous. I just took the CD because I- I ..."

Because what? Why did I take it at all? I couldn't even remember thinking about taking it. One moment it was on the table and the next in my hands, as if it had moved on itself.

"Because it called to you?" Edward suggested. "Because there was a voice in your heart that urged you to take it? Because there was an unkown pull that was impossible to resist? Because the mere thought of leaving it behind was painful?"

I didn't want to agree but deep in my heart I knew he was right; or rather _felt_ that he was right, because it felt painful to disagree.

"_Blood__sucking__vampire__or__not.__You__'__re__still__a__man,_" Leah's voice echoed in my head. "_And__as__a__member__of__that__wonderful__gender__your__arrogant__mind__can__'__t__wrap__itself__around__the__fact__that__you,__too,__have__feelings__like__a__little__girl._"

Damn, what was wrong with me? When had I become so transparent, like an open book for everyone to read? For everyone but me?

"This is nothing to be ashamed of, Derick," Edward reassured me, patting my shoulder gently. "Did you know that it was Rosalie who first noticed that I had fallen in love with Bella, long before I'd known myself?"

That made my chin drop. "What?"

"Well, technically it was Alice," he corrected. "She had a vision. But Rose was the first person to say it out loud, and then again Alice doesn't really count. Having visions of the future kind of disqualifies her." Then he got serious again, laying a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "There is a Chinese saying," he said something that sounded like a cluster of random sounds. I really should start learning foreign languages. Music alone was apparently not enough. "It means that a person standing outside can often see more than the aggrieved party himself. Like looking at a city. When you are in the city, you can't tell how big it is or what shape it has. Only when you leave the city and reach a higher platform, everything will be clear."

"Unless there is a blackout," I grumbled.

"Derick," he said it like an adult telling a child how the world worked. "There's no blackout. All you have to do is to turn on the light."

I groaned. "You make it sound so easy."

"You're right, it is not," he admitted. "But possible. Trust me. I found it."

Finally, I looked at him –really looked at him–, at his smile that showed pure contentment. His wish –his fulfilled wish– rayed in all colors of the sun; blinding that it almost hurt to look at. But just like the sun, it fascinated you, drew you in, making you want to look at it again and again. There wasn't a more beautiful view than that of a fulfilled wish.

And then, looking at him, seeing all the happiness seeping from him, triggered the ambitious part in me. The life that he was living, the happy-ever-after that he had achieved. I wanted it, too, wanted it bad, and I would do everything to get it.

"That's the spirit," Edward encouraged me, patting my shoulder in a way that only a brother could. "So, what are you going to do now?"

Before I could open my mouth to form an answer, Emmett came bursting into my room and had me headlocked. "Now is the time to fulfill promises," he laughed, rubbing my head with his giant fist. "You. I. Forest. Hunting watch."

"Well," I managed to choke out. "first, I'll teach this giant baby a lesson."

Edward laughed. "And then?" he asked, before Emmett had pulled me completely through the door.

"Then I will take one step after another."

* * *

_Ladies and gentlemen, I'm very happy to be able to announce, that MulanHua (wanna be author) is still **alive**! xDD_

_wow, it's been exactly **2 months** since the last time I'd uploaded something! that's a new low for even me! -SORRY! X_x_

_I got an excuse (as always), though it's not a really good one (as always), it's an excuse nontheless - I started **college**! yay! (omg ... how did that crazy girl got to college? xD)_

_so I needed some time to figure everything out (e.g. where is the cafeteria? where is my next lecture? where is my apartment? O.o) it's all very exciting and stressful - yes, there's homework at college, too ... shame on the stupid person who invented homework! xD _

_I had to read tons of different texts in the last few weeks, some more interesting than others, but all in all not very inspiring to go on writing (I'm still trying to figure out why I need to know that a certain German publisher had three wives ... O.o)_

_Yeah, I love my subject of study =D_

_and I promise to find time to go on writing! especially since we're finally **getting to the real thing** (WHAT? we're stil not there? °o°) -Soon! I promise! =)_

_don't forget to **review**! it never fails to make me take out my pen after hours of studying and write a little more =)  
_

_-Mulan-  
_


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter20 –Wish–**

Carlisle told me that Chime would leave the hospital in a week, so this was the time frame I had to complete my plan.

I now admitted that I needed to have Chime in my life in some way. And I meant really in my life – like talking and laughing together, not just staring at her in history and being ignored by her in return. I wanted the Chime I heard on that self-made album: the energetic Chime, the passionate Chime, the happy Chime.

The problem was ... Well, the only way to achieve that incrediously far goal was to tell her how I felt.

Gulp.

I remembered those silly teenage soaps that Nessie liked to watch, where the protagonist's best friend told him that real men never talked about their feelings. I couldn't believe that I was actually thinking this, but those stupid pubscent boys –usually equipted with a too small basecap, too big clothes and a skateboard– were right. There was no way I went directly to Chime and told her about my _feelings_ right into her face. Not. Happening.

So I did what every artist would do in such a situation. I transformed all my pent-up emotions into art, music, songs.

So the first thing I did was to pour out all my feelings into notes, sounds, melodies. It only took me one day and one night to start and finish all the songs. That was an incredible accomplishment even for me. There was so much for me to write, so much I wanted to tell her, that the words and notes seemed to flow out of the pen on their own. I felt like a dam, my emotions like water gathering –pushing– at the wall. Now after only opening the gate the tiniest crack everything –fears, concerns, hope– all flowed directly onto the blank pages of sheet music. I let it take over, let the waves take me with them. It felt incredibly good to just let go. My only concern after making the final bar line was that I might sound too cheesy.

The next step of my brilliant master plan was a little more tricky though. –Recording the songs. Edward and I had built a little studio into the basement so the technical part was no problem. About a third of our self-made music collection were recorded here. My main concern were my performers.

Rosalie, to be exact.

Everyone was just too eager to help me "melt the ice queen's heart", as Emmett had put it. Everyone, except for Rosalie.

"Please, not again," she had groaned when I had told my family about my feelings for Chime. "First Edward and now you, Derick. Seriously, what is wrong with you guys? Or is this the _Curse of Forks_? Any single male vampire falls in love with a cute little human girl here? –No offence, Bella."

Talk about an impossible task. Persuading Rosalie was probably the most difficult thing to do. Not that she wouldn't be a helpful person. She would do anything for you if she considered it right. And there was the rub

It had to be _her_ definition of right.

If Bella was as stubborn as a rock, then Rosalie was Mount Everest: intimidating and immoveable. Even Emmett, the person she trusted most, couldn't change her mind.

Which was exactly what he told me when I asked him for help.

"No chance, dude," he laughed, looking down at me as if I were a little child, asking whether I could fly around like Superman. "For all these centuries I've only seen her change her mind _once_. And that was Bella, after getting pregnant and almost die because of that. " –another fit of laughter which I fould kind of macabre– "And according to her reaction toward your suggestion, even that didn't make her completely agree with Bella's decision of becoming a vampire in the first place. It only helped her to accept the fact that she couldn't do anything about it."

That reminded me on the first few months after I had joined the Cullens. Even the two shape-shifters had been fine with another bloodsucker joining the family. Rosalie, however, obviously had something against an intruder. I soon learned that it wasn't me she didn't like but the whole concept of a new member in general. She had had her perfect family and then I burst into the picture. Not acceptable.

She never really tried to throw me out or openly insulted me, but her entire attitude –the way she ignored or sometimes glared at me– showed how unwelcome I was.

After about a year she finally had accepted me or rather the idea of a new person in the house, and started talking to me on her own accord. I remembered how relieved I and everyone else had been, as if I had finally passed the test.

"I think I get what you're saying," I said thoughtfully. "I have to talk to her."

He laughed. "Good luck with that."

"The way you talk about your wife is shocking," I joked, shaking my head in fake disapproval.

"Hey! I love her!" Emmett defended himself. "Every single trait of her. What more is there to ask for?"

Considering all the peculiarities of Rosalie's that I had collected in the last forty years, I decided that the best time to talk to her –to convince her– would be when she was in a very good mood and had no possibility to just get up and leave. That limited my choices of time and place extremly, leaving exactly one opportunity. Evey week Rosalie would go and check on her "babies", it was like a ritual, and I was not thinking about her infamous shopping marathons with Alice and Nessie.

Rosalie's babies were our cars and the garage was her shrine.

She was lying under my Legacy, only her jeans clad legs could be seen, when I walked down the stairs into the garage. I had asked her to take a look at my car after my ... "race" to LaPush.

"What's the diagnosis, doctor?" I asked, not able to think of a better opening.

"She will survive," came her high soprano from under the car.

"_She_?" I paused. I had never thought of my Legacy as female, or any gender in general.

She stuck her head from under the car to show me her raised eyebrow. "Derick, you're driving a white Japanese car. It's a she," she stated and vanished beneath said car again.

In which way those two statements were connected was a mystery to me, but I decided to let it go. I probably wouldn't get it anyway. I wasn't much into cars unlike my brothers. –Music geek, alright.

"Whatever you say." I cleared my throat, not out of necessity –vampires didn't even need to breathe, let alone clearing their throats– but rather out of nervousness. "You know, I'm always impressed how much you know about cars" –I was such an apple polisher– " and mechanics in general. You probably could build a space shuttle out of scrap metal."

"Of course," was her unfazed reply. "And my answer is no, Derick."

I laughed nervously, suppressing the urge to check if I was sweating. "What are you talking about?"

"Please, Derick. I'm not blind," she said in a bored tone. "The fact that you locked up yourself in your room and then came out grinning like a love sick puppy twenty four hours later can only lead to one conclusion. It doesn't take a genius or any kind of supernatural power to know that you've been compossing like a maniac for that crazy human girl."

I gulped. She was faster than I had expected.

"And now, of course, because you don't have the guts to say all the cheesy things you've written into her face, you need us –your wonderful family– to record a CD filled with pretty love songs that are so sweet that even a vampire would get caries from it."

Okay, that was too much. She could insult me but _not_ my music. "Well, maybe I'm not here to ask for your help," I snapped like a sulking child.

Her face appeared from under the car once again. She gave me the eyebrow.

I lasted for about two seconds before I surrendered. "Okay, you got me. I need your help."

"Rejected." She disappeared under the car again.

"Oh, come on, Rose," I begged. "Please, just this one time."

No answer but the soft sound of metal touching metal.

"Why not?" I demanded. "If you refuse to help me then at least give me a good explanation."

She finally came out completely and got up. "Fine," she sighed, walking over to the sink to wash her grease smeared hands. "But first you have to tell me one thing, Derick."

"What is it?" I asked impatiently.

She dried her hands with a towel and turned around, leaning against the counter, her beautiful face hard and serious. "What will you do?"

I paused. "What do you mean?"

"What will you do after telling her how you feel? Will you also tell her that you're an immortal blood-drinking vampire? And will you tell her that your entire family is built up of vampires and werewolves, some even with creeply psychic abilities like yourself?"

I didn't know what to say. My mind didn't seem to be able to process all the new information, didn't _want_ to deal with them. _Stop!_, I wanted to shout at her, wanted to jump her and make her fall silent. But my body didn't obey. It had no energy to move, no strength to speak up. I felt like a doe on the highway, staring into the headlights that were racing toward me. In the back of my head I knew what would happen, knew that I needed to run; but fear kept me in place, fear doomed me to die.

"And what would you do if she understood and accepted you for what you are? If she –despite the fact that you and your family are blood sucking monsters– returned your feelings, which is –I'm sorry, Derick– according to my observance not very realistic." –her voice became softer– "Not that you're not a loveable person, Derick. I really do wish for you to find a partner like the rest of us. But I doubt that that girl is even capable of loving and trusting anyone after everything she has been through. I'm sure you know what I mean. We all have been there."

Yes, I knew what she meant. My father who had worked so hard day and night only for me to achieve my dreams. My brother who had been nothing but happy and proud when I had made it to high school. My mother who had done everything to give me a family and the feeling of security even when everything had already fallen appart. Their faces had become blurry through the centuries, but the warmth of their love would always live in my heart. It would always remind me on the piece that was missing there.

Then I remembered Chime's father. How she had smiled and laughed. How her eyes had gleamed and shone. How she had suddenly transformed into a completely diffenrent person – the perfect opposite of the Chime I had first seen: Her never changing face, as if it were carved into stone. The cold and untransparent stare, keeping everybody at arm's-length, shielding herself from more pain. Her ghost-like demeanor, as if she wasn't really a part of this world.

Exactly the way I had felt after hearing of my mother's death.

"What will you do?" Rosalie continued, her voice soft but persistent. "Despite the fact that the odds are seemingly not on your side. What will you do?"

I noticed my mouth opening, thought that I said –no, stuttered– something. I didn't understand what it was. Nothing important, for sure, nothing that could answer the question. Because I didn't know the answer to the question.

"What will you do, Derick?" Rosalie asked again, her words echoed in my head, grew louder, heavier, pulling at my every nerve. "Will you change her?"

I winced, as if the words were knives, rammed into my chest.

"No?" Did I just said that? "Then what else will you do, Derick? She will still be human. And humans die. Could you bear that? ... No?" It seemed that although I couldn't hear me saying anything but Rosalie could. "I doubt that those two wishes of yours will work together, Derick," she sighed. "I guess, you need a new wish."

A new wish? Had there really been a wish growing inside me all that time? Without me even noticing? Me, who read the wishes of other people –both friends and strangers– so easily? Did anyone know that they had a wish before it already was full-grown, before it was too late? Was it even possible to stop a wish?

All these years –all these _centuries_– I had read other people's wishes. I had looked at their most intimate thoughts like an open book. Some had astonished me, most of them appeared absurd to me and a lot of those seemed just plain stupid. But that was because I had never thought about the reason behind those wishes, never had I wasted a second on the wishing persons themselves. How arrogant I had been, how blind and dismissive.

Maybe everything that had happened in the last few weeks was some kind of godly punishment for me to learn appreciating my gift. Well, I had been asking for it, I supposed. Now, I finally understood that a wish wasn't just an annoying inner voice demanding for something. It was desire. It was an aching pain deep in your heart, pulsing, living, growing. As if there was a burning wound that urgently needed the correct ointment so it could heal. It wasn't just a stupid habit of humans' but the essential impulse to get up every morning. It was the most important part of life.

And suddenly, everything was clear.

"You are right, Rosalie," I finally said, my voice now calm after realizing everything. "I haven't put a single thought on how my actions would effect my surroundings and myself. There are more than enough reasons for all this backfiring at me. The chances that Chime feels the same way as I do are probably smaller than the moon dropping on the earth." I smiled at my stupid comparison while Rosalie frowned, presumably questioning my sanity. "But you see, Rose, it doesn't matter."

She was honestly astonished at that. "What do you mean, it doesn't matter?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I wondered. "Everything that you are worrying about. All the possible consequences that you reminded me on. They are just that: consequences, possibilities, things that may or may not happen in the future, things that even Alice can't tell by a hundred percent. And you know that I have never been the person to be interested in the future. I only care about the present."

"That is very shortsighed," she pointed out.

"Sure it is," I admitted. "But that's how wishes work. A wish doesn't care about the future, about what might come or go. It is only about the _here and now_."

"But your wish is to be with Chime," Rose argued. "How couldn't that involve the future?"

I smiled. The smile seemed to be glued on my face; I couldn't make it go away. "Don't you see? Exactly here lies the mistake. All of us thought that my wish was to be with Chime. But that was wrong. Being with Chime is only the best possible outcome of this entire story. But not my wish itself." –I closed my eyes– "My wish is to let Chime know about my feelings. Anything else that will follow is just a dream and unsettled."

Yes, that was my wish. It had been my wish from the very beginning. I had only been too blind to see it. Being with Chime, listening to her voice and her laughter, was not the wish but only a dream. The best end of the story –of _my_ story– that I could think of. But not my wish. The wish itself was neutral. It worked like a life-threatening sickness that needed instant treatment. It was neither good nor bad. One could wish for a sword. Whether they intended to use it to start a war or fight for peace is not included in the wish. That depended on the dream, the reason why the wish had appeared in the first place. Of course I would try to achieve my dream. But first I needed to fulfill my wish.

Rosalie was silent for the following two minutes, thinking about everything that I had said. I was pretty sure that at least half of it made absolutely no sense to her – hell, even I had just grasped it!

"I'll help you."

I was so surprized by her answer that I first thought that I had misheared. "What?"

"I said that I will help you, Derick," she repeated impatiently. "Now be happy about it and thank me already."

"I-I ... Of course! I can't say how grateful I am," I was stuttering with excitement. "Rose, you're amazing! I owe you."

She shrugged unimpressed.

"I'm serious," I insisted. "If there's anything I can help you with –may it be now or some time in the future–, call me and I will be there."

"Honestly, Derick, it's fine," she finally laughed. "Now let's get started before I change my mind."

* * *

_hey! look who's back from the dead! xD_

_I just checked when I'd last updated ... well, let's say, that was a story a loooong, loong time ago xD_

_so here I go: I AM SOOOOOOO **SORRY** FOR MAKING YOU WAIT SOOOO LONG! *bow* ._

_and of course -because social etiquette instructs this-_ _my "fancy"_ _expalaition: (drum roll, please) **COLLEGE!** xDD -life is just wonderful, isn't it?_

_well, after writing a 1500 words essay on Shakespeare, a 6200 characters essay on Oprah and a 10 pages assignment on Harry Potter ... **I just needed some space to Word =D**_

_I do hope that it will get better ... I will work on it! =)_

_okay, that's enough babbling on the matters in the real world =D let's finally **talk about the** **chapter**!_

_what do you think? did you get the** wish-and-dream-part**? it's quite complicated, I admit ... I came up with it at about 1am - no wonder it doesn't make much sense xD_

_a penny for your thoughts? =)_

_-Mulan-  
_


	22. Chapter 21

**Chapter21 –Sonata–**

Recording was … well, a mess. As usual.

"Derick, I really think it would sound better if we put more force on the bass," Edward argued for the assumably hundredth time.

"But then my violin can't be heard anymore," Rosalie spat back as quickly as a shot. "And what about Chloe's flute? Do you want to drown her out, too?"

"No, Rose. It's okay. Really," Chloe tried to calm her down. After all these decades one could assume that she'd know that all her efforts were futile. But what was I thinking? This was Chloe after all.

"Chloe, sweety, we live in the twenty first century. You don't have to do everything a member of the great male gender says," Rose went on. "Derick here, for example, surely understands that, doesn't he?"

What had I done in my last life to deserve this kind of punishment?

"Look, why don't we give Edward's idea a chance?" I suggested. "If it sounds worse than now ... well, it's never too late to start over again."

Chloe immediately jumped at the first compromise in sight. "That's a fabulous idea, Der-"

"Yes, Derick, what a fabulous idea, indeed. Thank you very much for enlightening us!" Rose interrupted her. I guessed, I should have left the "again"-part out. "Let's just do things _again and again_" –yes, so should have left it out– "we are all immortal after all. We have forever to get this finished. And I haven't planned anything for the next millennium anyway. What about you Chloe? Do you have more meaningful things you have to do?"

Hey, using my innocent little sister was not fair! "Enough, Rosie," Emmett tried to calm her down, beating me to it. "Why don't we take a break and go out for a walk? I read in the papers that a few montain lions had been seen at the border to Canada." Rosalie threw Edward and me one last glare before she left the studio with Emmett.

I had never loved Emmett so much than in that very moment.

The longest we had ever needed to record an album had been five whole days, twenty-four-seven non-stop. Necessary hunting trips to cool down the mood excluded. This time ... Well, let's say, we now had a new record, one that we would hopefully never break.

We were all more than glad when the final note was in the can. Especially Carlisle. He had been struggling to find excuses for us to miss school for such a long time, mostly for me and Edward; the others had gone to school if I hadn't needed them for recording.

For me, however, the end of recording –of all the arguing and hours in the stuffy basement– had come way too early.

How had I come up with the idea for the CD? How could I forget what this would eventually mean? Where this would inexorably lead to in the end?

Oh, right, I hadn't thought that far in the first place ...

"So, how are you going to do it?" Edward asked while we were going over every song for the last time, polishing them one final time. All the others had already left, taking flight as soon as the words "good job, guys" had crossed my lips.

"Do what?" I asked back vacantly, hunched over the control desk and a headphone pressed to my ear. I wanted to try make the flute a touch louder. I was sure that part would sound better that way.

"Give Chime the CD, of course."

A sharp high C pierced through my ears, broke through my eardrum and cut right into my acuesthesia center of my brain, when I slipped with my hand at Edward's words.

I cursed. I always cursed a lot during recordings, but this time had been much worse than usual. Esme had threatened to wash my mouth with soap eighteen times yesterday.

"Sorry," Edward apologized, suppressing a grin. "Seems like you really haven't given any thought to that issue."

"Of course," I echoed his words from a few seconds ago.

It was silent for the next few seconds. He was probably waiting for me to start talking but I didn't know what to say. So I just didn't say anything, listening to the ticking of my watch instead. I usually didn't wear watches –my inhuman ears made their ticking sounds enormously loud and annoying–, only during recordings. The mechanical ticking helped with the tact.

"You know you have to do something, don't you?" Edward finally said and I exhaled the breath that I had been unconsciously holding.

I had various options of answering his question. I could be desparate; be the whinny little scared boy that was grouching inside me. I could act matter-of-factly; look at the whole issue dryly from the distance. Or I could be the bitter and sarcastic idiot.

"Oh, really?" I snorted. So bitter and sarcastic idiot it was. Not such a bad decision. Snorting was good, it didn't show how my voice was trembling. "I didn't know that. Tell me all about it."

He didn't reply immediately. Instead he just looked at me with observant, knowing eyes. Who was I fooling here? This was Edward _Mindreader_ Cullen I was talking to, after all.

"I know you are scared," he eventually said with a gentle voice as if he was talking to a little child that just had a nightmare. "Any kind of confession is difficult. Confessing means to tell and accept the truth after a long time of denial. Confessing means to open yourself to someone else, leaving you exposed and vulnerable. But as uncomfortable as it is, it is the only way. Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

If I could use my gift on myself, I was pretty sure what I would see right now. A dark light, maybe a blueish glow, growing and shrinking form one blink to another, flickering like the flame of a candle in a storm, fighting a lost battle. Denial was the worst and ugliest kind of wish. Whenever I saw a person surrounded by the mist of denial I would be torn between mockery and compassion. Usually mockery would win the fight – I had just seen too many examples of that sad category.

Well, seemed like karma finally got me.

I let out a shaky breath. "Had it been so complicated with Bella, too?"

He smiled at my naive question. "It's never easy. Ask Esme and Carlisle. They had danced around each other for two decades before Esme finally worked up the courage to take the essential step."

I had to smile unconsciously at that story. "I bet Alice will tell you that for her and Jasper it was a piece of cake."

He laughed in agreement. "Yeah, but Alice doesn't count."

I sighed. Damn, he was right again.

"And yes, it was complicated with Bella," he then started to actually answer my question. "Although looking back it appears to be nothing, at that time, however, everything seemed to be like one great riddle that needed to be solved." –he sighed– "I was scared. We both were scared though not for the same reasons as I know now. She was scared of rejection, the possibility of been laughed at and left, which was, of course, absolutely impossible." –he shook his head at that, smiling– "I was scared of rejecton, too, of course, we all were. But my greatest concern was her safety; my self-control." –he sighed again– "You don't know her smell. It was exquisit. We all had to fight to resist, though no one had to fight as hard as I had to. _La tua cantante_. Maybe you've already heard of it. It means that a human's blood smells so alluring and fine to you –and only you– that it seems to be calling you, singing to you, demanding you to take it."

I had heard of this phenomenon indeed. The first time when Edward and Bella had told me their story. I had never experienced something like this though. If yes, it had probably happened while I had still been in Detroit and human blood had filled my menu. I could only imagine how hard it must have been for Edward. Yeah, destiny really was an –excuse me– tramp.

Edward raised an eyebrow in amusement at my last thought. "Yes, it was hard. There are no words in the world to describe how hard it was. And I had cursed destiny for doing this to me plenty of times." –we both grinned at that– "But no matter how strong the monster inside me had fought, how painful the first breaths around her had been, how even more painful it had been to constantly stop when my heart urged me to go on – it was all worth it, every single second." He looked down at his left hand where his wedding ring shined like it always did when he was at home. The smile on his face was one of complete happiness.

I sighed. "Thank God I don't have that problem," I failed miserably at trying to joke. "My dilemma is different. In contrast to you and Bella I have absolutely no idea what she thinks of me –_if_ she even thinks about me– let alone like me."

He looked up at me again, still smiling. "Well," he said, taking the finished CD out of the player and put it gently into the simple transparent box. "there's only one way to find out."

"For God's sake, Derick! Stop tapping your finger against the steering wheel, you're driving me insane!" Emmett growled form the backseat, kicking the back of my seat.

I didn't apologize, not after him kicking my car, but forced myself to stop the nervous tapping by gripping the steering wheel harder.

"Derick," Chloe asked softly. "Are you sure you don't want Jasper to stay nearby and help you?"

"Yes, I am," I forced a smile, it must have looked horrible – it _felt_ horrible. "I'm fine."

She continued to look at me with her big golden eyes filled with worry.

"Chloe, angel, look," Seth came to my rescue. He reached a hand out to stroke her thin arm soothingly. "This is something Derick needs to do alone. You understand that, don't you?"

She sighed. "Yes, I know, but-"

"Don't worry, little sister," I tried to smile again. It was better this time. "All will work out just fine."

"Yeah," Emmett added his two cents. "I mean, look at our little boy Derick – which girl could possibly resist all this awesomeness?"

_The girl who he is about to confess his love to_, I thought and was thankful that Chloe couldn't read minds like Edward.

She finally smiled. "Yeah, I guess, you're right, Emmett," she said and laid her small hand on mine, calming me down effectively.

Time dragged by. It always did at school but I could swear that someone had turned the switch of time from _sluggish _to _slow-motion_. And this entire time my nerves were on edge. I was practically vibrating with adrenalin; or rather shaking with panic. The jewel case with the CD was burning a hole into my backpack. Either that or I was starting to hallucinate. The fact that I couldn't detect Chime –I was trying to find the "black hole" with my gift– was not helping, either.

_Okay, deep breaths, Wing_, I told myself. _You just catch her after history and push the CD into her hands. No big deal. She'll listen to it and then you two will live together happily ever after. The plan is idiot-proof._

When had I become such a bad liar? I'd probably spent too much time with Chloe ...

Looking back, the morning had flown past in a blur of colors – blond, brown, red, dark blond, ash blond, black. Not the right black – black and brown, black and green, black and blue. Not the right shade of blue – dark blue, light blue, azure, ultramarine, turquois blue ... But never ice blue; no ice blue in sight.

It made me edgy. Not the fact that I couldn't find her –I knew I couldn't find her because of her gift– but rather the fact that I still kept looking fer her though I knew that I couldn't find her and that I let this –the dilemma of not being able to find her though I knew– make me edgy, made me edgy.

Yeah, I was a mess, I knew.

"Derick, I know that you don't want to hear this now, but you need to relax," Edward tired to calm me down, laying a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"I know," I grumbled, poking around in my plate of lasagne. It wasn't real lasagne, more an excuse of lasagne that first had been thrown off a skyscraper and then run over by a bus.

"Dude, if you're not eating it, at least stop anatomizing it," Seth complained, watching my hand with a painful look. "You're torturing it to death."

"Can't kill what's never lived," I snapped back, increasing in speed and force.

_Letting your bad mood out on innocent bystanders – smooth, Derick, you're on the highway to Jerktown at full speed._

Suddenly my muscles relaxed until my hand entirely stopped slicing the lasagne. My mind went blank and the tension left my shoulders. Noticing what was happening, I dropped the fork and spun my head around. "Jasper," I hissed, or rather _tried_ to hiss, it was difficult to express your emtions when your body was told otherwise. "Cut that crap."

He sighed. "It was worth a try."

"I really hope that girl won't turn you down," Rosalie said. "I have absolutely no interest in dealing with Sulking-Derick right after Nervous-Derick."

"Thanks, Rose," I replied sarcastically. "Your honesty is very refreshing as always."

My eyes wandered back to Alice who was sitting between Jasper and Rosalie. She was inappropiatly chirpy today. It freaked me out.

"No, Derick," she answered my question before I could open my mouth to ask it. "I can't see and if I could, I wouldn't tell you."

"Very helpful, Alice," I muttered. "And, by the way, why are you so happy? Don't you hate the fact that you can't see?"

She shrugged. "Usually yes," she said, adding salt to her soup. Out of pure boredom, I guessed. "But I have decided to not let it bother me. Instead, I made a game out of it. I guess and then let things just happen and see if I'd been right. It's fun and very satisfying when I guess correctly."

I gaped at her. "And you noticed this now, of all times, after living with three blind spots for almost a _century_?"

"Yes," she nodded, smiling brightly. "it was about time, wasn't it?"

I groaned, feeling the strange urge to punch something. I somehow felt betrayed. I thought I could always count on Alice to find Chime's hobby of being a black hole aggravating. Now, I was the only one who was annoyed that he couldn't tell.

"Derick," Bella suddenly called. She hadn't talked much to me since I had told everyone about my feelings for Chime. She looked at me, her golden eyes fixed to mine, as if she could see right into my soul. "You will do fine."

And somehow her words were more reassuring and soothing than all of our supernatural gifts put togehter.

I declined Chloe's offer to accompany me to history. It felt strange to have your little sister protect you and I needed a few minutes for myself.

The way to _Modern History_ had never been so long.

The corridors were lined with lockers and filled with students of different ages, different heights, different colors, heading into different directions. It had never really occured to me but they were all dodging me. Although human senses were extremly dull due to centuries of superiority –or rather the belief of being superior–, they still seemed to feel some kind of danger around us vampires. As soon as I entered the hallway, all the students eluded to the sides, offering me a perfectly clear way.

What if Chime felt endangered in my presence, too? What if she was afraid of this world, of my world, of me? Or worse: what if I disgusted her? What if the creature –the monster– that I was crept her out? Would it really kill me to neglect this one wish of mine?

Suddenly I was standing in front of the closed classroom door. Through the thin wood I could hear the kids chatting loudly.

The way to _Modern History_ had never been so short.

There was still time yet. I still could turn around, go home and beg Carlisle and my other familiy members to move somewhere far away. Alaska perhaps, we hadn't visited Tanya and her family for quite some time. No one would judge me for my cowardice. At least not openly. Rosalie would be angry about me for the next decades but I was sure she would calm down eventually ...

"Derick?"

I had been so deep in thoughts that I literally jumped at the sound of Ms. Fairyman's voice behind me.

"Oh, I didn't know you were abscent," she apologized, sounding sincerely sorry. "I'm sorry for interrupting your search for the truth."

For the first time in these two years that I had known Ms. Fairyman I didn't find her words ridiculous.

"Ms. Fairyman," I cleared my throat. "coud I ask for your advice on something?"

"Certainly," she agreed, smiling. She put her bag on the floor, pulled out a thermos jug and poured herself a cup of steaming green tea, completely ignoring the shrill ringing of the bell that announced the beginning of the next period in that exact second. "I'm all ears."

"Um ... thanks," I muttered, distracted by the cup of tea in her hands. Not ridiculous but still weird though. "It's a little complicatd," I tried to begin.

She blew at her hot tea and waved her free hand encouragingly at me. "We have all time in the world."

And this really wasn't anything a proper teacher should say after the bell had already sounded ...

I stared at her in surprise for about five seconds. She just kept blowing at her tea, waiting patiently. With my gift I could see that she wasn't just pretending to be calm or only doing this because she didn't want to teach a bunch of uninterested puscent kids but truely wished to help me. And for her tea to cool more quickly. And maybe that was the point of being a good teacher. Not only teaching children all knowledge of the world but rather to be at their side when they needed support.

"Um ... let's assume," I eventually started. "there was ... a girl – only hypothetically, of course! And that girl was ... unreadable. It would be impossible to tell what was going on in that pretty little head of hers. So, hypothetically, what should I do if I wanted to know what she thought about ... certain ... issues?"

Ms. Fairyman smiled at me knowingly which she did for several seconds. I had never felt so exposed before. "Do you remember the tarot card I gave you a few weeks ago?" she then asked, sipping at her tea.

That question made me pause for a second. Not because I didn't remember –perfect vampire memory, all right– but because I hadn't expected such a reply. "_Melody of Secrets_?" I answered-asked, raising an eyebrow.

She nodded, still smiling and gently shoke her tea to make it stir.

I waited for her to go on but instead she kept silent, staring at her tea make tiny waves in the cup. It was kind of hypnotic.

"So?" I probed after another second. "What about it?"

"Remember what I told you when I gave it to you?" Another question. I started to regret the decision of asking for her advice in the first place.

I frowned, only partly pretending to be trying hard to remember but mainly because of the confusing train of her thoughts. "Something about an orchestra started playing?" I answer-asked again. A slight touch of impatience to my voice.

"I saw you at the school concert," she changed the topic _again_. Was she trying to drive me insane? "You're a great lover of music, aren't you?"

"Yes," I replied slowly, not knowing what she was planning to get at. "I am."

She took another sip of her tea. "What always happens before the greal final of a _sonata_?"

I felt like punching something again. Did she what me to give her a music lesson? I sighed. It was no help, I guessed. "Well, usually after the _development_ follows the _reprise_ or _recapitulation_ –kind of a backlash–, another low point. Then it works its way slowly upward again in a torturing slow crescendo that leads into the _coda_ –the end–, deciding how everything ... will ... end."

Of course, it was exactly the same. The first quick glances during the introduction, the building tension of the exposition, leading into the climax of the development, which then fell again shortly afterward in the recapitualtion. It was just like a classical sonata. Life; life was like a piece of music. Until now I hadn't noticed, I had just been sitting in the audience, listening helplessly. But it didn't have to be like that, I wasn't helpless, I was a composer, after all – I could change the notes and sounds to my liking. I just had to _do_ it.

I looked back at Ms. Fairyman in awe. Her full lips pulled into a happy smile when she saw the clarity in my face. She had somehow managed to reach me like no one else could – even my siblings hadn't been able to do that. It was like I had arrived in this foreign country and she was the only one who spoke my language.

"You're a genius," I breathed before I even knew that I was about to say my thoughts out loud.

She laughed. "Well, thank you, honey." She emptied the rest of her tea and bend down to pick up her bag. She walked past me and put her free hand on the handle of the door. She paused, turning back to me with a bright smile. "Now, ready to rock the stage?"

"Absolutely," I declared firmly, taking a deep breath.

She opened the door.

* * *

_hey guys!  
_

_the new chapter - just in time on my **birthday**! xD (I'm getting oooold~ xD)  
_

_okay, I admit the end of the chap is kind of **evil** ... originally I'd planned to reveal more but I really like the final sentence =D  
_

_and Ms. Fairyman - I love that woman =) and of course the scene with Alice - that was sooo fun xD  
_

_so, now for my birthday I wish that you'll all **review** - **tell me what you think about the story so far and what you're expecting/looking forward to!** =D  
_

_-Mulan-_

_PS: I hope that I'll get the next chap finished soon, now that the summer vacations are finally about to start! yay! =D I've already started it ... the chapter! not vacations! xD  
_


	23. Chapter 22

**Chapter22 –Reprise–**

The sterile light of the neon lamps shone harshly down on me, making my skin appear even paler than it already was. Sickly pale, like a ghost. I was even surprised that I couldn't see through my hand like a ghost. I _felt_ like one, transparent, naked and vulnerable.

We were at the supermarket right now. We, those were Chloe, Seth and I, though I wasn't quite sure how I'd gotten here. It was a miracle –and kind of inappropriate– that my legs still could carry me. I hadn't driven though, Seth had beaten me to the driver's seat without saying a word and I hadn't objected. Driving probably would have pushed our luck and I sure as hell didn't feel like driving.

Actually, I didn't feel like doing anything at the moment, and standing in public was currently ranking at the very top of my "not-want-to-do-list". But somehow the combined forces of Chloe and Esme had lured me out of my room. If they'd asked me, I would currently be holing up in some dark corner and mope for the next decades.

But they didn't ask me. Never underestimate an alliance between a concerned mother and an overprotective little sister.

Closing my eyes in defeat, I let the talk we'd had this afternoon pass through my head again.

"_This is _not_ right!"_

"_Please, you need to calm down-"_

"_I mean who the hell does she think she is?"_

"_Shouting around won't help at all-"_

"_This is not how it's supposed to work. It is her _duty_ to come running into his arms at first sight!"_

"_Rosalie, please," Esme half-screamed, the only way to interrupt Rosalie's monologue._

_She had started shouting and cursing the moment she had entered the house, pacing up and down in the living room like a caged tigress. Her fury surprised me. I hadn't decided yet whether she surprised me in a good or a bad way. On the one hand, I had never expected her to care so much for me but on the other hand, she just scared me to death, metaphorically._

_She finally stopped, crossed her arms in from of her chest and huffed loudly. After taking a few deep breaths her head whipped around to stare at me. Her golden eyes were burning like two little suns, ready for the supernova._

"_You," she hissed, trying not to start shouting around again. "Don't just sit there so calmly and stare at me like a fool. Do something."_

_I looked around at my family members, all watching me with guarded expressions. They were probably all expecting me to burst into tears any second, metaphorically of course. Well, all except for Alice who was suspiciously absent. She had silently dragged Jasper out of the house when Rosalie had crossed the living room for the third time._

"_Well, I guess, I just have to keep trying?" I tried to sound confident or at least not like the whiny little kid that was crying in my head._

_Esme patted my hand reassuringly and gave me her most encouraging smile. "I'm sure all your great efforts will pay off soon."_

_I smiled back and gave her hand a grateful squeeze._

_It was silent in the house for the following few seconds. It wasn't a peaceful silence though; it was a portentous silence filled with tension._

_The calm before the storm._

_In the end, Rosalie had been the one to speak out the undeniable truth that we'd all desperately been trying to play down. Her tone had been surprisingly soft after all the screaming she'd done before. "I don't want to be the spoilsport, guys, but am I the only one who has noticed that Chime hasn't been to school for three entire days?"_

No, of course she wasn't the only one who had noticed Chime's persistent absence. Every time I'd opened the door to history and found my eyes failing at detecting that curtain of raven black hair or that pair of piercing ice blue eyes, my cold stone heart felt like dropping out of my chest and smashing on the ground into million pieces. I knew that my heart was frozen motionless, no blood pumping through my veins. Who would've thought that a rock could bleed in agony?

Edward had once told me about his time apart from Bella, when he had left her in order to protect her from the dangerous world that he was living in. In the end, he had said that the pain, the endless hell he had suffered in, would be something that he wouldn't even wish upon his greatest enemy. Now I finally knew why.

"Derick? Derick!"

I blinked my eyes open to the horribly white light and found a big dark skinned hand waving in front of my face.

"Anyone at home?" Seth joked, still waving his hand annoyingly close to me.

For a brief moment I considered biting him, just because I could. To let out some of my pent-up frustration, but eventually I decided that it wasn't worth the effort.

And because it was mean, of course, let alone perilous.

"Yeah, I'm present," I answered annoyed, beating his hand away. "I was just thinking … stuff. Nothing to worry about," I added quickly when noticing Chloe's concerned face.

She didn't seem convinced of my smile, though. I couldn't blame her. It didn't even convince me.

Thank God, Seth was there to distract his pretty little angel from all pain. Good thing that I hadn't bitten him. "Hey, Derick, would you, please, tell Chloe that vitamins are nice and good and everything but that a vegetable called _zucchini_ can't be anything but evil."

The frown of concern was wiped of Chloe's face instantly, replaced by one of disapproval. "As a Chinese saying goes: good medicine tastes bitter. How often do I have to tell you that, Seth?" she huffed.

"But, angel," Seth whined. "We're here to buy _food_, not medicine!"

At that, Chloe dropped her eyes and her full lips pulled into a heartbreaking pout. "I just mean well," she almost sobbed. "I only have your health in mind. Can't you see that, Seth?"

He gasped and immediately grabbed a bunch of zucchinis. "Of course I do!" he insisted eagerly, dropping the zucchinis into the cart. "I'm so sorry, Chloe. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Look, angel!" He grabbed another lead of zucchinis. His hands were shaking with anxiety, almost squishing the vegetables in his hands to mush. "I'm going to eat all of them tonight. I promise!"

Chloe took a deep breath before she looked up and gave Seth a soft smile. "I knew you'd appreciate my efforts," she said. It somehow sounded like mistress praising her little doggie's good behavior. "I love you, Seth."

The zucchinis, now forgotten, dropped into the cart with a dull sound.

"Oh, Chloe," Seth breathed, rounding the cart to sweep her into a tight embrace. "I love you, too, angel."

Well, what about that? Chloe won against Seth. That sure was a first. Seemed like our little angel had gotten some pointers from the demonic pixie. I was amused and angry at the same time. How dared Alice to corrupt my sweet little sister's innocence!

"Chloe?" a small female voice asked hesitantly, making all three of us turn around.

Standing in front of us, with an empty basket in her hand, was Fork's newest widow and Chime's stepmother Karen Winds. She didn't look fine –that would have been the overstatement of the year– but definitely better than the last time I had seen her. Her long blond hair in its usual loose bun was combed and had gained some of its volume back; her oak brown eyes were still exhausted but also hopeful. She looked okay, not fine but okay. Her husband's death wouldn't break her; she was a strong woman. Her stepdaughter, according to my knowledge, was different though. Which is probably the reason for her recent and current absence and the concerned frown on Karen's face.

"Karen," Chloe called. Seth put her back on her feet so she could give Karen a hug. "How are you?"

"Better, thank you, sweetheart," she said with a weak but sincere smile. "These last few weeks had been quite much so I've decided to take a break and stay home at my parents' in Phoenix for a while."

"That's a wonderful idea," Chloe agreed. "I'm sure the change of scene will be good for you and Chime."

Instead of nodding gratefully and then leaving, Karen bit her lip and looked down at her feet like a little child that had just broken the old antique vase. She sighed. "Actually," she half whispered and half stammered. "There is … something … that I'd like to ask you to do."

The horrible buzzing sound of the bell pierced through my ears when Chloe pushed the harmless looking white button. How anyone would choose such a discord for greeting guests was beyond me.

Hurried steps echoed through the house and a moment later Karen had opened the door to welcome us with a relieved smile on her face. "Thank you so much for coming, Chloe, Derick."

"We are happy to help," Chloe said while I helped her out of her coat. "How is she?"

Karen sighed. "I wish I'd know," she replied despondently. "She's still upstairs in her room and wouldn't open the door."

"Did she eat?" I asked with a concerned look at the clock next to the coat rack. It was about an hour past noon.

"Oh, yes, she does," Karen answered, sounding surprised herself. "She would sneak out of her room now and then when she thinks I'm not watching, I guess."

I felt my shoulders relaxing a little bit at the new information. At least she wasn't on a hunger strike. That would make her more reasonable and easier to talk to.

_Yeah, right. As if she'd ever been easy to talk to_, a nasty voice inside my head commented. I quickly silenced it with a mental kick before it could make me even more nervous than I already was.

"I'm leaving on Saturday evening, the day after tomorrow, for my parents'," Karen told us after we had politely declined the offer of anything to eat of drink. "I'd like Chime to accompany me but she refuses to talk to me." –She sighed– "You see, Jonathan was my second husband. My first husband, David, died due to an illness. After his death, I had been so depressed that I just couldn't make myself do anything. So my friends sent me to therapy. That's how I met Chime's father, at a group session," she smiled at the memory. "We shared the same pain, you see, we both lost someone we'd planned to spend our lives with." She blinked as if she'd just remembered that we were still standing in the hallway and led us into the living room.

A part of me wanted to run up the stairs and storm into Chime's room but another part of me was quite eager to drag out the inevitable as long as possible.

Chloe put her hand on mine, seeing the conflict ragging inside me. I squeezed her hand gratefully in return.

"David and I never had kids though we both wanted to. It just never happened," Karen continued after we were all seated. "So I was quite elated when Jonathan told me that he had a daughter. When he told me that she was already fifteen, I was terrified," again she smiled at the memory. "I mean, I still can clearly remember how I'd been as a teenager and that poor girl had already lost her mother. It would've been only natural for her to give me a hard time joining her family. But then …" she paused, frowning as if she was struggling to remember. "The first time I met her I went with her and Jonathan to a restaurant for dinner. She looked happy, so full of life and energy. Everything she did, everything she said was to make her father smile."

I recalled the one and only time that I had encountered Mr. Winds. Chime had been a totally different person that day. She loved her father so much that she would put her own grief aside in order to cheer him up. And for the first time I realized that Chime was selfless.

"So I believed that she'd already accepted me. After that, Jonathan and I got married very quickly. We had already lost a precious person each and we didn't want to waste any more time. Only a month after our marriage we moved here to Forks. We all wanted to leave Seattle, the place that brought all of us so much pain. And for the very first time Chime and I were alone."

The light –the wish– that had been softly glimmering in Karen suddenly grew stronger, exploded like a supernova, lightening the whole room. It was a deep longing, a desperate demand. Once desired love and acknowledgement had now sunk to the hope of catching a simple glance, a tiny sign that showed her stepdaughter somehow cared for her, that she at least knew that Karen was here.

"Only now did I notice that, though how happy and wordy Chime had always appeared, she had never directed a single word at me." Her fingers fidgeted nervously in her lap, shaking slightly. "She never talked to me and after we had moved here, with Jonathan off in the city, she would only speak to me when I asked her something. And, oh, how much I had wished that she would throw a fit about her father's new wife, that she would scream and stomp and … just anything but this terrible silence. It was like … like I didn't even _exist_ for her." Her eyes fell to her lap in shame for impute something so cruel to her stepdaughter.

Well, I couldn't blame her. She was right. Chime never acted particularly kindly toward Karen. Honestly, she hadn't been very warm toward anybody. Except her father. He had been the one person she had paid attention. The only person she loved. The reason why she lived.

Karen took a deep calming breath, her eyes blinked rapidly to hold back the tears. "I'm sorry," she eventually said. "I shouldn't say such awful things about my stepdaughter."

Chloe reached out her small hand to pat Karen's. "It's okay, Karen, we understand. You've been holding all these feelings –all this pain– inside your heart for so long. They just … boiled over."

Karen startled a little at Chloe's cold touch but soon relaxed. A brave smile stretched across her face. "You're right. I exploded, like a powder keg. Must be all the stress. I really need to go to my parents," she sighed. "I just wish …"

She didn't need to say more. We all knew that the inevitable had arrived. It was time to talk to Chime.

I gulped.

Karen led us upstairs to Chime's room, then hastily left after telling us that she would be "hiding" downstairs in the kitchen. Well, she didn't exactly use the word "hiding" but the implication was clear.

"Another closed door," Chloe sighed when Karen was out of earshot.

I tore my eyes off the light oak wood door to look at her inquiringly, welcoming the distraction. "Another?"

"Janette," she whispered, her voice filled with endless sadness. "She was a close friend of mine when I had been a human – when the world had still been a peaceful and normal place."

I remembered her story she once told me, remembered all eight of her precious friends who she had grown up with, who she had lost, together with her first love to a terrible act of revenge.

"It was just like this," she continued, the gold of her eyes melting at the memory. "A horrible loss, a person you had relied on staying with you forever. A shut door, thicker and stronger than the Great Wall of China. And a bleeding heart, torn apart by agony. A silenced soul, not answering to any call."

I took a shaky breath, trying to force my hands stop shaking. "Well, I hope Chime will respond. Otherwise it would be a pity for the fuel costs," I joked. A very lame joke, I admitted.

Her lips lifted, though, to a tiny smile. "Sorry, that was not a good pep talk, huh?"

It could have urged someone to jump off a cliff, I thought.

"Nah, it was alright," I said.

We fell silent again. Both not wanting to be the first one to say something, both not knowing _what_ to say at all. In the end, Chloe –little sweet Chloe, who everyone wanted to protect– was the brave one to knock on the door to the lion's den.

No offense, Chime.

As expected, there was no response.

"Chime?" Chloe called softly. She waited a few seconds, for a response that wouldn't come, before she went on. "It's me, Chloe, and Derick is here, too."

I suppressed the urge to hush her at the mention of my name. I was in love with that girl all right, but she still was kind of creeping me out. It was stupid, I knew that, but I just couldn't help it.

_Maybe it's not Chime herself that you're afraid of but rather your feelings and insecurities you have around her_, a smugly grinning voice in my head said. I shoved it quickly back into the deep dark corner where it had popped out of and focused back on Chloe.

"I know you don't want to hear this, neither does it help," she continued. "But there are just no other words in English for this." She paused, taking a steadying breath. "I'm sorry, Chime. I'm so deeply sorry for you loss. We both are," she added with a side glance at me. Her eyes had the color of melted gold as if she was about to break into tears the next second. "I know it's kind of shallow of me to say this but … we understand how you're feeling right now. We had been there too, when we lost our parents."

I gulped hard, the ancient pain instantly back.

"Although it's already a long time ago, the pain is still there as present and strong as if it had only been yesterday," her voice broke at the end of that sentence and she took another deep breath. "We're not here to tell you that the pain will fade. Time does many things but it doesn't heal wounds. It can only help you live around the pain, it teaches your heart to keep beating despite the big hole in it."

A sob interrupted Chloe's speech. I wrapped my arm around her slim shoulders, offering her comfort, which she took with a grateful smile. Together we waited. But there was still no sound be to heard from the other side of the door. Nothing but the faint beating sound of a heart, quietly, like a gentle stroke against your eardrum, as if it were coming from somewhere far away.

Her shield was on full power, thicker and more impervious than the solid door and wall in front of us. She wasn't here. Her mind was somewhere beyond this house, beyond this world.

_It's the reprise_, I told myself. _Things will get better after this hurdle._

"Chime?" My voice sounded awful, as if I hadn't used it for years. I cleared my throat. "Chime, I …" God, I surely had never been so nervous before. I took a deep breath. "Your … um … Karen told us that she'd be spending some time with her parents. She wasn't sure whether you're coming along, so … are you going with her?"

Silence.

Well, I would take that as a "no" then.

"You know, you could come and stay with us," I said out of some sudden inspiration. Chloe looked up at me with big surprised eyes. I would have been just as surprised as she was if it weren't for the great nervousness. "You know … at our house … with our family …" I wasn't getting any better at this, was I?

Still no reaction from inside the room.

I sighed. "Look, I know that you want to be alone right now, that you want to cry until there are no tears to be shed, mourn you father, you mother and your sister for the rest of your life," I paused to control my voice, I had been getting louder with each word. "It … it feels like the end, doesn't it?" I continued in a softer tone, letting all my agony for my late parents and brother pour into my words. "Like there's no tomorrow, like the sun would never rise again, or the earth would just stop turning. Because time and live and the entire universe simply have no reason to ever go on existing. It _shouldn't_ just go on like nothing had happened. It should stop and … and just realize that something was missing, that something wasn't right anymore." I felt the pain and I felt the anger. Everything, all the feelings, the emptiness and darkness, the fury and the rage. It all came back to me and they felt as fresh and overwhelming just like the day I got notice from Mom's death. I thought I could even taste the bitterness of the tears on my tongue. "These emotions, they can drive you crazy. They keep spinning around and around in your head until you're dizzy with despair. They can kill you, these emotions. And that's why … why I- we would like you to come with us, or go with Karen if that's what you prefer more. But, please, Chime." I took a step forward, pressing my hand gently flat against the door. My voice now quiet and breathy. "Let us at least try to help you, please. Don't stay alone. Don't let the pain defeat you."

I was silent then. I knew no more words to say, nothing more to give at the moment. I felt empty, drained, like a balloon that had lost all its air during a turbulent flight and was now lying on the floor, motionless, all the energy gone.

I couldn't tell how long the two of us had been waiting there in the dark hallway, staring at the light oak door, straining our ears in hopes of the tiniest form of reply.

But nothing. Nothing but the soft human heartbeat that assured us that we hadn't been talking to an empty room. Chime was in there, somewhere.

Eventually, Chloe broke the deafening silence with a soft defeated sigh and we went downstairs to leave. No words needed to be said when we bid goodbye to Karen. She could see the disappointment clearly on our face, and we could see hers in response. We wished her a save trip, then we left the Winds' residence hastily. Neither of us could endure one second longer at that sad place.

The ride back home was silent. We had both used up all our words this afternoon, there was nothing more that we could possibly say, neither did we have the energy to do it. We didn't even come up with the energy to get out of the car after I had parked it in the garage.

I almost jumped through the roof when someone knocked against the window on the passenger's side. I couldn't even explain why I'd been so startled. I hadn't been deep in thoughts or anything like that. I hadn't been thinking about anything after my speech to Chime (or rather Chime's door). My mind was uncommonly empty, all the thoughts blown away by a whirlwind of worries and emotions.

It was Seth who was knocking on the glass. His eyes completely focused on Chloe as usual. She opened the door and gave him a little reassuring smile. "Hey."

"Hey," he replied, his voice so incredibly soft, filled with love and adoration. "You forgot your phone at home," he told her, putting the tiny white rectangular into her equally tiny hands.

"I had a lot on my mind," she sighed. "Thanks."

"Um … don't be mad," he said embarrassed. "You got a message and I … well, I read it."

"That's fine. You know I could never be mad at you, let alone something so unimportant," Chloe calmed him down. I could tell that she wasn't fully into the conversation though. Her voice sounded somehow exhausted and tired.

"Thank you, angel. Um … don't you want to read the message?" Seth asked. He was fighting a grin now for whatever reason. "You should. I think it will cheer you up."

"Really?" she wondered, not sounding interested at all. She still unlocked the phone though. The sterile white light of the display illumined her face when it flashed to life. She clicked a few buttons until the sound of an envelope opening echoed in the garage and her eyes widened. "Derick?"

God, what now? "Yes?"

"I think you might want to see this, too."

I sighed and got out of the car, to step behind her. I let out an unbelieving gasp and suppressed the urge to rub my eyes or pinch my arm.

Thank you for your kind words.

I'll be leaving with Karen in two days.

C

"We reached her, Derick," Chloe whispered as if she couldn't quite believe it herself. "We actually reached her."

"I guess," I nodded in agreement though my statement sounded more like a question.

Seth broke our stupor of incredulity. "You did it, guys, you did it!"

Chloe looked up at him, a relieved smile spread across her face. "Yes, we did."

"I'm sorry, Derick, but would you _please_ stop that? You're giving me a headache," Jasper groaned from the couch, his head thrown back and the book he'd been reading now pressed against his face.

"Not doing it on purpose, sorry," I mumbled back, not stopping with my pacing.

"Seriously, dude, you have to relax," Emmett interjected. "I can totally see Jaspers' point. And I don't have any kind of psychic power like him or Edward."

"You're behaving like a mad man in jail," Rosalie deadpanned.

Jacob chuckled. "For the first time in this decade, I agree with Blondie. –Don't get used to it," he added.

"Wouldn't dream of it, dog."

"Derick," Esme's soft voice interrupted their ridiculous little contention. She put her hand on my shoulder, stopping me efficiently from walking a rift into her living room. "What is it, dear? What has you so troubled?"

I shook my head, trying to clear my mind enough in order to find the right words. "I … I don't know. I can't put my finger on it, but- something … something just doesn't seem … right."

She gently pulled me to the couch and asked me to sit down which I did reluctantly. My limbs didn't seem to be able to hold still. "What doesn't seem right, dear?"

"I … I don't know."

"Is it Chime?"

"Who else could it possibly be?" Rosalie muttered under her breath, gaining a pointed glare from Esme.

I sighed. "She's right, I guess."

"Chime is safe," Esme reassured me, rubbing my back softly like my mother by birth once used to do. "It's already nine pm, she's probably at Karen's parents' in Phoenix by now already and enjoying the warm temperatures."

"You're probably right," I sighed, massaging my forehead with my fingers. "I think, I'm going crazy."

"You _think_?" Jacob snickered and gained a reproachful look from Esme, too.

"All will be fine," she promised and gave me a hug. "You'll see."

Remember what I once said about destiny being a sick sadistic witch who loved to torture people? Well, seemed like she had a hell of a good timing, too, because right after Esme had finished her sentence the phone started to ring.

Carlisle got it upstairs in his office, probably assuming that it was a call from the hospital. Barely anyone else called us. I didn't pay much attention to it, the thoughts and worries were back on rampage in my brain again. Stillness was usually given to a vampire, but tonight my feet just didn't seem to be capable of stop moving for a single second.

"Excuse me, I didn't catch that. Could you repeat that, please?" Carlisle's voice echoed through the house.

We all went silent. All looking confused at each other. –Carlisle had perfect hearing like anyone of us. There was no chance that he wouldn't _catch_ something.

I looked up and my eyes met Edward's. His brows pulled further together with each passing second.

"Oh, yes, of course, she's here," Carlisle said in a light voice. Only we, his family could hear the uneasy edge in his tone. "She's downstairs with the other girls, watching a movie. Last time I checked they were having a lot of fun. Do you want to talk to her?"

The phone was too quiet for us to hear the person on the other end of the line but according to Edward's constant frown, it couldn't mean anything good.

"Yes, I will tell her, good night, Karen."

The call was ended with the soft sound of Carlisle putting the receiver down. The next blink he was downstairs in the living room with the rest of us. His eyes moving between Chloe and me. "What is the meaning of this?" he wondered. "Didn't you tell me that Chime would be going with her stepmother to Phoenix?"

"Sh-she did," Chloe stammered. Her hands were shaking so hard that Seth had to take them in his in order to stop them. "She told me. She sent me a text massage that said that she'd prefer to go with Karen instead of staying with us. I-it made sense, didn't it? I mean, she has known Karen for a longer time than us, right?"

Yes, Chloe was right. It did make sense. Any ordinary person would think and act that way. But this was Chime, and Chime was anything but ordinary.

But why? Why would she do that? Why would she lie to Karen and us? Why would she go through all that trouble only to be alone?

_If someone really wishes to die, he should at least go somewhere where he doesn't disturb anyone else with his foolish act._

Realization hit me like a punch against the chest, knocking all air out of my lungs. –Things weren't getting better yet. The reprise had just begun.

"Alice?"

Edward's voice made my head snap up out of what seemed like habit. All twelve pair of eyes now fixed on the smallest member of our family.

Alice's eyes were strangely glassy, looking at something in the distance like she always did when she was having a vision. "Someone …" she finally spoke after what seemed like an eternity. "Someone must go and save her. Stop Chime. Now."

* * *

_okay, this chapter took me like forever ..._

_I'm really sorry, that I haven't uploaded anything for so lon__g ... college and life caught up with me ... let alone the fact that this was quiet a difficult chapter to write because of the thing with losing someone you love ... well, let's say, after I experienced that feeling recently, the chapter practically wrote itself on its own ..._

_maybe some of you have noticed it already: there are a new **Aurora and Night Gallery** - you can find the link on my profile ... I've already added all the new songs, and you can even listen to them on that page =) tell me what you think about it!  
_

_so, one last thing: I can't believe it myself yet but ... there is a plan! **an acutal plan of how Night will end! **it's unbelievable right? After writing this story for almost a year, I finally know how to end it! xD  
_

_so... that was the good part ... now (yeah, you know what's coming) to the "bad" part: the plan contains a lot of stuff which means that Night will be going on for quiet some time until it's finally finished ... sorry ... but I'll try to write as much and fast as possible - promise!  
_

_You can help, by giving me an energy-boost, you just have to click on the **review** button and tell me if you liked the chapter =)  
_

_-Mulan-  
_

_PS. happy holidays =)  
_


	24. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23 –Drowning–**

The streets were already completely deserted when Edward raced down the roads in his Volvo. It was one of the fastest cars we had and Edward was one of our fastest drivers. We needed fast now more than ever before.

"Which way next?" he asked. Unlike usual he couldn't just pick the necessary information out of my mind. My head was a complete mess at the moment, the thoughts jumping and bouncing, appearing and disappearing like some kind of magic show.

"Right," I pressed out, trying to concentrate on the task at hand. I had never failed at doing something so miserably, not even as a human.

Alice's words were the loudest in my head. Her worried voice and scared eyes were burned into my brain.

_Someone must go and save her. Stop Chime. Now._

Stop Chime.

God, how could I have been so blind? How could I have not seen this coming? The signs had been there, loud and clear, right in front of me. –I really sucked at this loving-a-mortal-girl-thing.

"You're not," Edward interrupted my self-loathing while ignoring another red light. "No one knew. Even Alice. It's not your fault."

"You would've known," I whispered back. My entire body was so tense with fear that I could barely move my lips. "Left."

He made a sharp turn, the tires squeaked in protest. The sound cut through the silent town like an agonized scream for help. "No, I wouldn't and I didn't," he said, his voice just as quiet and tight as mine. "When Bella tried to kill herself, I didn't know. –Next?"

"Left," I answered. "But you weren't there. She wasn't right in front of you, shouting for help."

His knuckles strained his skin, turning it even whiter, as he grabbed the steering wheel yet a little harder. "She was. She reasoned, she threatened, even begged. I failed, unable to read her. Sometimes," he added in a softer tone. "the person we love the most, is also the person that we understand the least."

"Right at the end of the road, the white house" I almost sighed, feeling somehow defeated. "But you knew when it happened, didn't you? You felt there was something wrong with her."

"I knew, yes, but only after Rosalie told me," he admitted, taking the last turn. "When she jumped off that cliff I didn't feel anything. All those stories about how you would feel it if anything happened to the people you love, they are just that, stories. In real life you don't feel anything."

I gulped. "That's sad."

In contrast to his reckless driving just a few seconds ago, he slowed the car down gently, coming to an almost soundless halt right in front of the Winds' house. He killed the engine. "Yes, it is," he spoke into the sudden deafening silence.

I took a deep breath before getting out of the car. Edward was close behind me when I walked up to the front door. I rang the bell. For the very first time the sound didn't annoy me.

No reaction answered, the house stayed dark and silent. I rang the bell again.

"Is she even here?" Edward wondered. "I can't hear anything."

I rang the bell for the third time.

Nothing.

"She has to," I pressed out between clenched teeth. Then I did something that I hadn't done for decades. I broke into the house. Not that it was very difficult; I just had to press a little harder against the door. The lock gave in easily.

"Carlisle won't like that," Edward remarked but he didn't sound angry. He said it rather out of habit than real concern.

"Her room is upstairs," I said, heading toward the stairs. When Edward wasn't right behind me as I turned around, I paused. "What's wrong?" My breath caught at the frown on his face.

"I knew I've already seen the house and street sometime," he mumbled, staring at the walls and floor in a strange confusion. "How … interesting."

"Excuse me?" I asked, not understanding his newfound fascination for interior architecture.

"It's the same house," he replied, joining me on the staircase. "Bella lived here eighty years ago with her father. It's the same house."

My eyes widened at the new information. "That's …" I was at a loss of words.

"Peculiar?"

"Creepy."

He smiled a little at that. "Come on, we have to-" he suddenly cut off mid-sentence, his head snapping up.

"What is it?" I demanded, my voice shaking slightly.

"I think I just heard something," he frowned in concentration. "Someone."

And then it hit us both. The scent we both knew far too well, the sweet and alluring aroma that promised warmth and satisfaction, power and life.

Blood.

The stairs and hallway passed like a blur that ended with the light oak door hitting the wall with a loud bang. Distantly I noticed Edward calling my name and the sterile light of a phone flashing to life. But all that, everything, disappeared at the sight in front of me.

Chime was sitting at the window. The pale moon, the only source of illumination, shone into the room, filling it with its hypnotic white light. It turned her raven hair into silver where it touched. Her pale skin seemed almost transparent like that of a ghost. The way she was sitting there on the low windowsill –her body almost invisible in a black dress and her face glowing snow white in the darkness with a haze of tragedy lying in her aquamarine eyes–, she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen.

"Derick," she called me with that heavenly gift of a voice. "I have been waiting for you." She lifted her left arm as if she were reaching out for me. And I would have gladly obeyed, there was nothing that I wanted more at the moment than running toward her and taking her into my arms.

But I kept myself in place, kept the monster inside me within its cage as it watched with hungry fascination the red liquid steadily welling out of her wrist. My greedy eyes followed its path as the sweet blood ran down the length of her thin arm, drawing lines and patterns like black ink on a white sheet of paper, gathering at the back of her arm until it had formed a drop heavy enough to fall, landing on the cold wooden floor with a soft dripping sound.

Against all good judgment, I took a deep breath. And I fell. Into a great ocean of the sweetest scents on and beyond this world. Honey and roses, lilies and lotus, sunshine and moonlight, wind and grass – and above all the cacophony the gentle but clear smell of forget-me-nots stood out like the leading violin in an orchestra, creating perfect harmony out of wild chaos, stimulating and capturing all my senses.

"Come here, Derick," she sang and I moaned quietly. "Come here and help me."

I took a step and another; my feet carried me toward her on their own. This was wrong. Deep down I knew that this was wrong, that I should stop, that I would regret it afterwards. But at the moment, at this very second, with Chime calling me with her angelic voice and her heavenly scent, I just couldn't make myself remember why this was wrong, why I needed to stop, why I would regret this later for the rest of my existence.

"I knew you would come," she cooed, smiling at me for the first time. "I can rely on you, can't I, Derick?" She lifter her left hand, stroking my cheek with the tip of her fingers. Her lifeblood now only inches apart from my throat that ached for release. My tongue darted out, wetting my lips in anticipation.

"You understand me, don't you? You know how I feel, how I suffer," her wonderful voice broke at the end. "You understand. You have to."

And then she pressed her open wrist against my mouth and I drowned …

Iron claws pulled me away from her, away from heat and life, pushing me down on the floor and pressing my face against cold wood. A furious growl echoed through the house followed by snarls and curses. I thrashed and struggled, tried to turn on my back and rid of the annoyingly heavy and hot weight that was still forcing me down onto the floor, far away from the wonderful place I had been just seconds ago. I could barely taste the dreamily sweet blood on my tongue anymore, the heavenly aroma now replaced by a foul stench. Something between mud and wet dog.

"Stop, Derick!" Jacob's booming voice now finally reaching me. "Don't force us to hurt you!"

"You're not being yourself!" Seth's younger and higher voice threw in. "Relax and we'll let you go!"

The monster in me protested furiously when I deliberately took another deep breath, inhaling the horrible trademark smell of wolves in order to clear my head from the thick haze of temptation that had clouded my mind. Slowly I got back to my senses and calmed down; my limbs fell relaxed to the sides.

"Good boy," Jake muttered, lifting his weight of me.

There was a shrill shriek, cutting through the recent peace like a knife. An inhuman scream of anger and pain that seemed to come right out of hell. "Stop! What is wrong with you? Let _him_ do it then! Stupid vampire!"

I froze. Jacob and Seth froze on top of me. Time froze around me. My head went empty. In distance, I heard Seth mumbling the words that my brain didn't seem to be able to come up with.

"Did she just say … _vampire_?"

There was no answer to that … we all knew the answer … we couldn't understand the answer … the answer made no sense.

The shock only lasted for a second. "Chime, don't!" Edward shouted before the storm broke out, literally. I noticed a soft sound, like paper been torn, then a whirlwind of sweetness hit me once again and the monster roared back to life. It threw Jacob and Seth off easily, wasting no time in lunging forward toward the source of heaven.

A red flash knocked into me from the right, throwing me off balance and back onto the floor. The wood cracked and splintered from the crash. The monster fought, pushed, snapped and finally snarled when the stubborn hindrance wouldn't be removed.

"Derick, wake up!" Edward's voice came from somewhere far away. "This is not you!"

The monster tried to bite him, missing only by an inch.

"Jacob! Seth!" Edward asked for help in defeat. "Get him out of here!"

The two pairs of burning hot claws from earlier clamped around my arms, hauling me on my feet and out of the room, away from the lovely scent of forget-me-nots. The monster let out a violent growl, the only sound in the now silent house.

* * *

_So, it has been three months since the last time I updated ... well, err ... **oops? **_

_I can't say how sorry I am - not just did I make you wait but also left my (and Stephenie Meyer's) precious characters stuck in such a terrible situation ... and now I leave you with a cliff again ...  
_

**_Oops?_**

_Seriously, what is just wrong with me?_

_If it makes you feel any better: I've already started with the next chapter and have already written an entrie page in Word - I don't know how many more are to come (I don't plan, remember?) but I promise that I'll try to update as soon as possible!_

_Whatever that means ..._

**_You can provide me with motivation-boosts by reviewing diligently!_**

_-Mulan-_


	25. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24 –Stopped–**

Something hard, maybe a rock, hit me right across my face, followed by a nasty cracking sound.

"Jake!" Seth gasped in shock. "You broke his nose!"

"Should be glad it wasn't his neck," Jacob grumbled back, flexing his fingers.

I touched my crooked nose with my free hand –Jake had let go of my arm for a sufficient momentum to land a proper punch–, pulling it back into its original position with an annoyed groan. "Thanks," I said sarcastically.

"You should be," Jacob snapped back, shoving me forward. "Now move before I break more parts of your baby face."

The monster and I growled quietly in revenge. It growled about the hitting and I about the "baby face"-thing. I was so upset with Jacob that I only realized where he was leading me to when we were already well hidden in the darkness of the woods. The recent happenings crashing down on me like a tsunami wave.

Chime broken.

Chime's blood singing.

Chime's eyes begging.

Chime's voice crying.

Chime falling.

What had I done?

A warm hand on my shoulder pulled me out of my shock. Looking up I found Seth's soft dark eyes. "Edward's taking care of her," he told me in a slow soothing tone, as if he were talking to a shy animal. "He took the car and is now rushing to Carlisle with her. She'll be okay."

I remembered the screaming and resistance, remembered the red liquid of her life flowing freely, the tiny rectangular razor blade in her right hand, gleaming sliver in the moonlight.

"She fainted," Jacob said seeing the confusion in my face. "Lost too much blood, I guess."

My head snapped up toward his direction. My breath caught in my throat.

"Yeah, nothing Carlisle can't fix," Seth added in a tense voice and a meaningful glare at Jacob. "Right, Jake?"

He shrugged. "Sure, sure."

My world seemed to spin.

"Derick, wait!" Seth shouted but I was already gone, racing through the forest at full speed. Trees flew past me in a blur, the grass beneath my feet rustled barely audibly, birds and insects fled in panic at my sudden approach. My instincts registered all these things automatically, though neither my mind nor my heart were actually paying any attention to it. In front of my inner eye, the forest turned red, the leaves sticky and glossy with fresh blood. Chime's blood. Her ice-blue eyes melted into tears, extinguishing the flames in them, choking her angelic voice, distorting it to a screech of agony.

I must have raced home in record time, though it felt like forever until the bright lights of our huge mansion finally came into view. I practically burst into the house, almost pulling the double doors out of their hinges. At any other time Esme would have scolded me for mistreating her favorite creation, but tonight she just looked at me with pure motherly concern.

"They are upstairs," she informed me, her soothing voice stroking my stressed nerves. "Alice sensed something like this might happen. She and Rosalie went to the hospital right after you left and got enough supply from the blood bank. Carlisle is treating her now."

I turned to dash up the stairs when Edward appeared in front of me, blocking my way. "Don't," he said in a firm voice. "She lost quite an amount of blood and we both know what kind of effect her blood has on you."

As if his words had hit me like a brick wall knocking the air out of my lungs, I staggered back a few steps. Instinctively, I inhaled, only noticing now that I had been holding my breath, and drew in the deadly sweet scent of rich burgundy and forget-me-nots. The beguiling aroma of her blood was everywhere, coloring the white walls deep red. The monster inside of me roared back to life, charging my muscles with new energy. Ready to jump, ready to strike, ready to kill.

Instantly, Esme and Edward were at my sides, each grabbing an arm of mine and yanking me out of the house, back into the darkness of the woods, where I collapsed against a tree, panting heavily as if I'd just been saved from drowning. It was confusing, almost aggravating, how much Chime's blood affected me. I had always thought my abstinence was firm. Perhaps not as good as Edward's, and definitely not as perfect as Carlisle's, though still better as Emmett's or Jasper's. But it seemed like all my centuries worth of training were simply blown away by a tiny breeze of this little human girl's scent.

Light shaking at my right arm pulled me out of my frustrating thoughts. Turning around I found Edward still holding my arm in order to keep me in place. His body was vibrating with silent chuckles.

It was so nice to know that my misery had such a positive effect on my siblings' moods.

"It's not like that," Edward defended himself between his laughter; he could barely keep it down now. "It all seems like a déjà vu to me. Your thoughts – they were exactly the same thoughts I had when I met Bella."

I looked at Esme, who was shaking her head in confusion at her flagship son, then looked back at Edward, who was grinning back at us in return. I raised an eyebrow, waiting for the punch line. I was still miles away from laughing.

Seeing –and probably also hearing– our confusion, he finally continued explaining, "Well, and that reminded me on what you said when we were recording, you remember? You said, _thank God I don't have that problem_, when I told you about my struggles with Bella's blood."

"And?" I eventually demanded impatiently when he once again stopped with a stupid grin on his face.

"And you were right," he finally finished. "Destiny is a tramp."

I felt the corners of my mouth pull upwards involuntarily. "And karma is her little sister," I added.

"Language, boys," Esme chastised us, but she, too, was smiling.

Again the picture of the old lady stirring a pot filled with all kinds of nastiness came to my mind, only this time there was another old lady adding wood to the fire in order to keep the content nicely warm and stinky. Both of their eyes glazed with anticipation, waiting for the whole thing to finally boil and explode.

Edward pulled a face at my seemingly boundless imagination. "Disgusting, but nonetheless accurate, I have to admit."

"I assume, I don't even want to know, what you boys are thinking again," Esme sighed and rolled her eyes theatrically.

I chuckled, which quickly died down to a sigh though. Seeing the concern in my face return, Esme's hold around my arm softened to an embrace. "She will be fine," she promised in that soothing tone that only mothers had.

I pressed my eyes shut for a second, concentrating on her hand rubbing slowly my arm, easing the tension in my muscles and nerves a little bit. "Where is the rest?" I asked, trying to distract myself.

"On errands," Edward informed me. "Carlisle sent them out for food, medicine and other supplies that we might need."

I nodded, understanding the message beneath his words. That they had all fled because of the blood. I didn't hold it against them. We all knew where our limits were, and in the current situation, evasion was much more helpful than forced confrontation. We all knew that.

Well, except for me, of course …

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Edward then said. "Any of us would have done just the same, if they had been in your place."

"You didn't," I reminded him bitterly.

"Yes, I did," he negated stubbornly. "I did, back then in the ballet studio, when James tried to kill her. I did drink Bella's bloo-"

"But you stopped!" I cut him off, loosing my temper yet again. "You stopped though her blood called to you so strongly. You stopped, because you loved her enough to remember who you are. You stopped, and I didn't! Not forgetting, you only drank her blood to save her from turning into a vampire, and even then you only did it after Carlisle urged you to. I didn't, okay? I didn't drink her blood out of some noble reason. And I certainly would _not_ have stopped if it weren't for you, Jake and Seth! I would have sucked her dry, until the very last drop! I would have _killed_ her!"

All the frustration thrown out now, I felt strangely empty and hollow, like a balloon that had just lost all the air inside. I gasped, taking quick shallow breaths, as if I had just run a marathon, trying desperately to fill the emptiness. Only now did I notice that Esme's grip on my arm had tightened again. She probably feared that I would lung for my brother's throat or do something else, equally reckless, any second.

"But you did stop," Edward eventually said when my breathing had mostly returned to normal. His voice was soft but nonetheless serious. "When Jacob and Seth arrived, you deliberately inhaled their wolf scent in order to control yourself."

I didn't have a response on that. He was right, after all. I did try to distract myself with the terrible wolf stench. But that didn't change what I had done afterwards. That I had tried to get back to the blood; that I had fought my friends and brothers; that I had snapped at them, even tried to _bite_ them!

Edward shook his head, as if all that were not important. "You did stop," he repeated slowly, his voice still quiet but earnest. "You stopped, because you love her enough to remember who you are."

His words echoed in my head, mingling with all the other words that had been said during the last few weeks and months. First they came one by one, so I could still understand them, but then the interval quickened, causing the phrases to fuse and melt into each other, making it impossible to tell where one sentence ended and where the next started. It sounded like the mindless chatter in the audience before the curtain rose.

I didn't know how long we had been standing there in the shadow of the trees, barely in sight of the house. At some point Jacob joined us, without Seth who had run off to find his Chloe. I wondered where, and more importantly how she was. What was she thinking about me now, after almost killing her dear friend? Was she angry? Disappointed? Scared? Disgusted? In a way, Chloe's opinion was the most important to me, for I saw her as my little sister. The idea of belying her faith in me was worse than dying ten torturous deaths.

"Sorry, for the punch," Jake grunted instead of a greeting, pulling me out of my miserable thoughts.

"Sorry, for the snapping," I replied absentmindedly, though still gaining a satisfied grin in return.

"Nah, anytime, as long as I'm allowed to beat you in return. Deal?" he offered.

You wish. "I'll think about it."

After that he walked a few steps further toward the house –still laughing quietly under his breath– and settled at the feet of a tree, leaning against its trunk. Ready to bolt in either direction when necessary.

Time seemed to have stopped when the four of us waited in the darkness of the woods. I wasn't even quite sure what we were waiting for. For a movement or some noise at the house, or for one of our siblings returning from their errands, for the sound of an angelic voice, or for the smell of fresh human blood? I didn't know. I just didn't know.

After what seemed like countless hours, the front door opened and Carlisle stepped out. Only then, when his blond hair reflected the first rays of sunlight, did I notice that dawn had already approached, ending this terrible night.

My first instinct was to run toward him and shake all the answers I wanted right out of him, but Edward, Esme and Jacob stopped me efficiently by slowly escorting me toward the house.

"She is stabile now," Carlisle spoke in his soft patient voice, lifting some of the weight off my shoulders. "She lost quite an amount of blood, but the transfusion went well. She is still unconscious though, due to the narcotics and perhaps also because of shock." He paused, gauging my expression, debating whether he should tell me more nor not. With a short nod from Edward, he finally decided to give me the last piece of information. "She is upstairs in Esme's and my room," he said, and stepped aside to let me into the house.

I didn't even wait for Jacob's hand to completely lift off my shoulder. I bolted through the door, up the stairs, down the hall, and-

Stopped.

The door to Carlisle's and Esme's bedroom stood ajar; a thin line of golden sunlight peeked through the gap and enlightened the otherwise dark hallway. Suddenly hesitant I took the last few steps slowly, cautiously. Just like all the teenagers did in those horror movies, sneaking to the door to check if the crazy guy with the chainsaw was still behind them. It was ridiculous. The chainsaw freak was always there, waiting for them, ready to strike.

But this was no horror movie, and there was nothing dangerous behind that door. Just Chime.

_Okay, maybe not entirely harmless_, my brain thought, hiding its fear with sarcasm.

_It's just Chime_, my heart replied softly, urging me on.

_Maybe I should wait, ask __Carlisle__ or Edward for support … just in case if anything happens_, my brain tried to reason.

_It's just Chime_, my heart reminded me again. _Just Chime._

_Exactly_, my brain returned bitterly. _What if there's too much blood? What if I hurt her again? What if I won't stop this time? What if I am not ready for this yet?_

_But this is Chime_, my heart only chanted back, coaxing my feet to close the last bit of distance. _Just Chime._

_Chime._

_Chime._

_Chime._

My hand lifted to touch the door frame, my fingertips barely brushing the smooth wood. Then I stepped into the stripe of sunlight, my eyes blinking a few times against the brightness to adjust. Through the crack, I could see one of the floor length French windows that covered the entire eastern wall of the room. It was opened slightly to let in fresh air; the white satin curtains billowed softly in the cool morning breeze. An old antique set of cupboards covered the wall to the left with dark walnut, decorated with little china vases and figures. At its feet lay a simple white rug, its long soft hair almost glowing in the sunlight.

Nudging the door further open, I could see the end of the bed. The simple orange and brown striped blanket lay flatly on the snow white sheets. Following the bed, the blanket eventually began to softly lift and dip, covering long legs and narrow hips. One arm lay on top of the blanket, a needle was plugged into the wrist, connecting it to the IV. The arm looked ghostly pale against the warm colors of the blanket and seemed sickly thin. After opening the door completely, I could see that her neck and face were equally pale and slim. The skin at her cheeks sunken, leaving me to wonder when her last proper meal had been. Her long black lashes looked like cracks against her deep eye circles, the thin blue veins scarily visible on her closed lids, coloring them blue with exhaustion. Her raven black hair was pulled back into a messy bun on top of her head –Carlisle probably did that to examine her better–, but still it was visibly less shiny than usual. Next to the bed stood a metal cart with a few machines on it, buzzing and peeping in strict time.

Finally, my eyes fell upon her stomach, watching it fall and rise slowly with each breath she took. It was the only comfort in this room. The only thing that kept me sane at the moment.

Without removing my gaze, I walked into the room and leaned against the wall, next to the machines. I just stood there, frozen to a statue, watching her breathe and listening to her heart beat.

And I waited.

* * *

_Guess what? -I'm still around! _

_I just saw that the last chapter was updated March, 27th ... that's ... um ... a long time ago ..._

_**I AM SOOO SORRY! .**  
_

_I started this chapter ... omg, I can't even remember when I started it! xD But I still remember when I finished it: it was today, around 2pm, at work xD It was great because I could print it out immediately for editing - I should do that more often *laugh* (just don't tell my boss xD)  
_

_I'm really looking forward to the next chapter! If everything goes as I planned, you will learn **the whole truth about Chime Winds!** (don't get your hopes too high, we all know how the story sometimes just goes rampage on me xD)_

_**So, 'till the next time and don't forget to review - they always encourage (and remind xD) me to continue writing**!_

_-Mulan-_


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